insomnia city

last night i saw on some TV program that they're going to be remaking The Sound of Music. it got me to thinking about my favorite things and least favorite things.... and about writing.

it's weird but i always have all of my best thoughts and the most active imagination at night when it's midnight or past and i know i have to get up and go to work the next day. my mind races, i can't sleep and all i want to do is write. not having the freedom to write at night sucks. i find that in most cases i have to force sleep or take sleeping pills, and when i get up the next day.... all of those feelings that moved me the night before are gone. this is, by far, one of the worst feelings. i kick myself for not getting up and doing what my mind craves, but i don't and can't really. in the mornings, try as i might, that imaginative spirit - the thoughts and feelings - seem to have floated away, and nothing of any real sustenance ever surfaces. so i sit and wait, and wait, and wait.

once again... i find myself lost in thought.

i guess i could stay up but i'd suffer at the job. i can't think when i'm tired and what happens if i have to write a speech for the big guy! so... i don't stay up... i wish i could. but then.. i'd prob get tired! ;) and have no thoughts whatsoever, my body would insist on sleep, and all the chaotic thoughts would leave me... i can see it now, but i'm a bit of a fatalist.

i was thinking about my favorite things - a clothes dryer. i miss having a dryer in the house. i miss the warmth of the clothes, and i really miss the smell that fresh clean sheets have after having been in the dryer and then in the closet for a few days. aaaahhhh... when the pillows are cold and your head falls into that sweet cushion of softness... and the smell that fills your senses... Snuggle..... ummmm, there's nothing like it.

a dryer is next on our list... but it all makes me laugh because we had this plumber guy come to the house to inquire about installing the dryer. he made it seem like it's gonna be an impossibility. i could run around the house screaming, pulling my hair out, demanding a dryer... but what good would it do me. if the ppl don't know how to install it, the dryer becomes nothing but a fantasy and these types of fantasies tend to make me depressed. so i keep hoping... waiting... and thinking that some day, someone may be able to install a dryer.

i was reading this egyptian girl's blog and she was talking about the 16 things she wouldn't miss about Canada and the 16 things she would miss most. it got me to thinking about Bahrain. there are some things that i wish were different, so i'll list them here:

1. i wish the sky was blue w/ voluptuous clouds hanging in the distance. (the sky is yellow here and there are no clouds whatsoever - not even a peak of blue anywhere - it depresses me)

2. i wish the water wasn't salty from the tap. (it wrecks havoc on my hair, skin and clothing)

3. i wish the *cold* water from the tap wasn't hot in the summer (but i guess that's what happens when the water tanks are outside)... we could get a cooler but it seems like we have nothing but trouble w/ the water in our house, the water heaters and i'm not sure i want another headache

4. i wish that Bahrain had a recycling program... makes you wonder what this country will be like in 10 yrs time. makes me think of Egypt and the banks near the water around Cairo (the pyramids)... you could see nothing but trash where soil should be (i hope it doesn't get like that here)

5. i wish that so many women didn't wear black abayas. it is so depressing and reminds me of death. it seems like this whole country is in mourning all the time.

6. i wish there wasn't so much pollution. when we walk at night there are so many places where you can smell nothing but rotten eggs. it's disgusting and so bad for you. i have to cover my mouth and try not to breathe until we get past those certain areas. this is shame really.

7. i wish there were more places for a "really" good haircut and color. i miss my hairstylist!

this brings me to another point.... WHY do all the women refuse to cut their hair in this part of the world? i don't get it. they pull their hair up most of the time any way, so why not chop it off. i think it's all for show.... and i was told that it's a sexual thing for some women (haha, hee hee). and yeah... i guess the belly dancers like it...

but i say it looks old fashioned (the hair down to the waist).... get w/ the times and cut your hair!