my insomnia

For as long as I remember, I haven't been able to sleep well. In my 20s, I chalked it up to being really busy at work, having too many things on my mind and overall stress. As the years go by, you'd think it would get better, especially when you have a small child that keeps you busy, but funny enough, it doesn't.

Once, a co-worker of mine, who was a Church of Christ member (ok, maybe that had nothing to do w/ it), told me it was because I didn't have a clear conscious. Maybe, but I've never thought I had bad thoughts or thoughts that would keep me from sleep. I guess she was partly pissed that I wouldn't convert to Church of Christ and didn't think I was holy enough for sleep and would use any opportunity to throw it in my face... who knows.

I've always envied those who can fall asleep as soon as their heads hit the pillow. Hashim is like this. Sometimes I find myself getting mad at him for it. Not that it's his fault... for I'd love to have a problem like his, I just wish he could see, feel or understand how or what I'm going through. Maybe he does understand, but unless you suffer from insomnia, I think it's hard to identify w/ a person who does.

I met a girl last night - she's the wife of one of my husband's high school buddies - and she suffers from insomnia. We talked about it and, come to find out, if you have thyroid problems, you can have insomnia issues. Another friend's mother told me that I might be having thyroid problems, but I've yet to have it checked out. One, because I'm not certain that the drs. could diagnose it or I don't have faith in their abilities and two, I find myself doubting that it's even an issue, and it's the first time I've heard of a bad thyroid causing a person not to sleep.

I find myself longing for sleeping meds.... anything to get a restful night's sleep, but the thing w/ sleeping aids is they usually give you that drowsy feeling in the morning and I sometimes think that feeling is worse than being tired from not sleeping.

The first time I was pregnant (before my miscarriage), I slept so well. It was heaven sent... I would curl up on the bed and sleep for hours. aaahhhhh, it was wonderful. With Naief, it wasn't the same. For some reason, I always thought that one side affect of being pregnant was sleeping a lot.... figures I wouldn't get that symptom when pregnant w/ him! ;)

I slept well while in California. Don't know if it was the weather or what, but I actually could take naps during the day and found myself sleeping thru the night on many a night.... so what happened!!!??? I'm back in Bahrain and I can't sleep.

I tend to think it's because our bedroom windows face the streets in our neighborhood, so you hear every tom, dick and harry coming and going. You can hear ppl talking on the streets, cars racing up and down the main road, ambulances going to the hospital.... and every cat fight in the neighborhood. Maybe it's time to invest in some sound proof glass .... or something.... cause I'm really tired.... and I'm really tired of not being able to sleep. Plus... when you're really tired and not sleeping, you tend to get hyper in a bad way... and rather moody in a bad way. :)

fun, fun, fun

where has the time gone???

It's been a while since posting.... time flies by so fast, putting off things becomes secondary nature. Not that I haven't thought about blogging, about my friends who blog, and wondered what everyone has been up to in the last few months... but life has a way of grabbing you, at times, and not letting go.

Naief started walking a little today. Both Hashim and I were thrilled. I've been waiting patiently... ok, not all the time, but trying to, and it was today that he decided to take those steps towards me and his daddy. It's thrilling to see your child walking for the first time! and it's sooo cute! He wobbles back and forth...trying to keep his balance, only to sit down when he's had enough or about to fall. Truly, it's the sweetest thing.

gosh... life is strange at times, you know. I picked up this book that I heard about on Oprah. It's called A New Earth. At first, after reading about 50 pages, I had to put it down. But after picking it up and really taking the ego out of it.... the book has become something that's hard to put down. Its good. Has anyone out there read this? And, if so, what do you think?

I went to a woman several Saturday's ago that did this energy type of healing on me. She does everything thru energy and places her hands on you, underneath you and whatnot. During the appointment, she spent most of her time on my legs and lower back. This procedure is actually called Biodynamic Craniosacral Therapy. Never heard of it before this. After the visit, I felt incredibly at peace. And before the consultation was over, when she had her hands and arms under my lower back, the only thing I could feel was my heart beating - thruout my whole body. It was peaceful. Makes a person long for that.....

My back actually stopped hurting for more than 2 wks. Come to find out, she's coming back at the end of May. I'd like to see her again.... Weird that my back doesn't hurt like before. Something worked and changed things....

Do you believe in energy fields??? Within the body?

How are all of you? I miss chatting... reading blogs.

run aways and the everdays....

Today while out driving along Budaiya Rd., I was about to go around one of the last roundabouts before Al Osra and who did my wondering eyes see??? Bali, the guy that ran away from my FILs employment! I'm not sure that he saw me... he looked in my direction and turned his head quickly, I thought, but I'm not for sure. I watched him and saw where he was headed.... for I've heard from the woman who works for us that his wife, the girl that worked for us, is working out there. We had been told that he was working in Gudabiaya (sp?), but now, after seeing him, I doubt that.

He was carrying a bag of what looked like groceries and a bundle of flowers. I'd bet they're working for expats, and was told that by our house woman. Me and hubby have decided to do a sting operation this coming Friday. I called him upon seeing Bali - even wanted to turn around and follow him - but was told not to do this. He'd more than likely run upon seeing me and who knows if I'd find out where he's at... and they could run again... so I didn't.

I figure he was coming out of the cold store there at the corner, so we've decided to go there on Friday, early... maybe around 11:15, since they always cook lunch close to noon, and, if we see him, will let him go into the cold store and then try to nab him. I'm sure if we got him, he'd more than likely give up on where he's living, that way we could potentially go and get his wife as well. I have no idea how the family will take it, but I think we have a legal right to get them and take them to the police.

While in California, I learned that Bali is suing my FIL for not giving him pay during the months after he ran away. I find this to be utterly ridiculous. Here he left, upon his own choosing, but expects my FIL to pay for all of those months. He also wants plane tickets to go back, which I know is our responsibility, but feel like we shouldn't have to do. I understand giving ppl rights, but how far does that have to go?

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Naief is growing so much. He's now on the verge of walking. He took four steps the other night towards me, but has yet to do it again. I think he could probably do it if he wanted, but I have a feeling that he's still a little scared at this point. He has 14 teeth now. His fang teeth are coming in and, without a doubt, these have been the worst. He ran a fever, had cold symptoms, and was in a lot of pain. Poor little guy, his upper molars and these fang teeth have all been coming in together... I try to imagine what it must feel like, but it's hard. I just know that I hate tooth pain and never hesitate to give him pain meds if he's crying and pulling at his mouth a lot.

He is now riding in his car seat without any big issues. He'll cry here in Bahrain for me to take him out, but while in California, he was a real trooper. I'm glad that we had that opportunity there because it's the thing that got him truly used to it. I think it also helped to get him used to eating in his high chair. He's not crying any longer and has started eating or rather trying to eat with a spoon. He's quite messy - altho he doesn't rub the food all over his face or in his hair (yet) - so I feel pretty lucky. He does like to fling it on the floor, but I read that once they start doing that that it's time to stop eating.

He has also found his screaming voice. He loves to scream in public. Not scream or cry, just yell demands. ;) His usual yelling words are Ma Ma, Ma Ma. We were at Geant the other day and he decided to start doing this while going thru aisles. It embarrasses me somewhat and I'm trying not to let it - always remembering that anyone with children will understand what's happening - but that doesn't stop the stares at times. If they look at me, I just smile. I also read that when they do this - which is usually a phase - to try and play the whisper game. I did this last night and it helped a little, but sometimes he just loves to be the center of attention with all and won't stop until he's had his fill.

We cut his hair a week back. It was filled with curls and most ppl thought he was a girl, so we decided it was time. Didn't cut it too short or leave it too long, just a nice in between. It's cute. Sometimes I put cream in it and do the whole messy hair thing on the top.... it's precious really. He doesn't like it though and will sometimes take his hand and pull at it or cry if I'm spending too long.

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Wilson, our cat, is getting along w/ all the cats. It's as though he never left. It took a bit for his sister, our black cat Petunia, to accept him. She'd hiss and growl at him and they may have even fought a little at first, but now she has allowed him back into her life. Maybe she was angry with him... but the other day in the kitchen she was bathing him and it was just so sweet. I'm giving the cats Bach drops in their water to help them all w/ this transition back into the home. I've used it in the past when taming feral cats and it always worked, so I hope that within a month or so, all the cats will be calmer because of his addition again into the family.

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We're house sitting this cat for a woman I know. I don't really know her per say, but she used to work for my MIL at the school. She doesn't have any children so this cat, Jack, is like her baby. He's a beautiful white, long haired cat, but he hasn't been neutered. She's been asking for me to let him in the house, but I can't do it. If he feels threatened whatsoever, the likelihood of him spraying our house is high, and I don't wanna smell cat urine all over the place. She's also asked me to have him fixed for her and that she'll pay me in two months, but I'm just really torn with this.

Apparently she's married to a Bahraini man who is fooling around w/ this Moroccan woman and they have 6 kids. He keeps this woman, that I'm cat sitting for, in a flat someplace, but from what I've heard, he didn't pay her rent and she got kicked out. So she's now living w/ friends and looking for a new flat. The last time she came and visited, she hinted on the fact that if she doesn't find another flat, she'll have to get rid of Jack. I know she wants us to take him... I think this is one reason she's pushing the neutering issue... but hubby has given a firm no to this, and I'd rather not add another cat into our furr family. We're keeping him in one of our bathrooms right now and he just cries and such when I feed him and spend time with him - wanting out when I leave - but I just can't let him out in the house. This, in and of itself, makes me want to get him fixed... but if I do it and she doesn't pay, that's another "why did you do that, you knew she wouldn't pay" or "now she wants us to keep the cat... what do we say"... and the possibility of "oh the poor kitty... what if he doesn't find a home" going thru my mind and pretty much beating myself up mentally... so what to do?!!

For now I'm having the house woman clean the bathroom and hubby feed him so that I don't get attached. It's way too easy for my heart to go out and for me to wind up doing what I don't want to do.... and I have to listen to my husband this time.... you know?!! and I don't want another cat really, if the fact be known. We have our hands full now... and if Porsche does wind up coming back... well... you know what I mean.

okay... I'll run... good day my friends.

a passing

The one thing that's hard to deal with, when you live far away from those you love, is death. Since living in Bahrain, I've missed the death of my uncle and the passing of my aunt, who died last night.

Isn't it sorta weird to think of it or say it as if you have missed the death... like I've missed out or something. This death marks the third in my mom's family. My mother is the oldest sister and it's very hard for her to see them passing away. They're all getting older, but I think it's probably hard when you're the oldest and the younger of your siblings are going first.

My mom didn't go to see her. She couldn't. She told me the other night that she'd rather remember her for the way she used to be, not like she was.... not knowing anyone around her, weighing only 61 lbs., her eyes having sunken into her skull, and as my cousin, her daughter, described it... she looked like a tiny werewolf.

When my mom told me this, all I could imagine was a tiny head with very short hair standing on end, pointed ears and fang teeth. My aunt didn't have fanged teeth... but I could imagine the rest of it.... and even dreamt of werewolves the night she told me this... the dream was so vivid and scary. I told Hashim the day after that it could be a movie, but after telling him what happened, he told me it was totally bizarre. Not sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing, but anyway.

I called my mom about a week back and found out about my aunt. I knew she had been sick, falling a lot and this last time, my cousin took her to the doctor.... they were looking at putting her in a nursing home (which I so disagree with), but I had no idea it had gotten so bad - neither had my mom. After they took her to the dr. this last time, when she fell, it was determined that she had colon cancer. It was terribly advanced and she never knew. They had been treating other things all along and obviously never checked for this... even though she had symptoms. It's a shame and is probably the insurance company's fault, if I'm truthful.

When I found out, it made me so terribly sad. Aunt Patti was the sweetest woman and I have so many fond memories of her when I was a young girl. I used to spend weekends w/ her sometimes... or can at least remember this one particular time. She was a beauty in her younger days and on this particular day, she and I would lay out in the sun. I wasn't a sun worshiper, but I never said a word, after all she had invited me, out of all of my cousins, to sunbathe with her.... or it could have been that she was babysitting.... ;) I don't remember that part of it, but I like to think that it was my teenager charm!

Well, she looked great in her bikini, and I can remember getting up several times throughout our hours in the sun that day to spray her off w/ the hose. I remember enjoying that day. I can also remember being at her house during the holidays and how funky I remember her being w/ her silver tree. She was the first person I had ever seen w/ a silver tree. It was so lavishly decorated... her whole house was, matter of fact. I'd walk around for hours looking at all her collectibles, especially bells, and playing in my adult cousins' rooms upstairs.

She was married to man named Bob who had false teeth in the front and when he'd take them out, he looked like Dracula. He'd frighten me terribly when I was a young girl... chasing me around the house while I screamed and begged him to stop. I'd try to find the best hiding place, but he'd always find me and act as though he'd suck the life blood from me.... I was terrified of him and, thinking about it now, realize that I truly hated him... and wonder if he didn't do this to me for menace... but I'll never know. She divorced him and she and I never discussed it.

I can remember my aunt coming to our house and allowing me to cut her hair... however I chose. There were several times that I cut it to her scalp - in places - and she never said a word... only laughed when my mom would say something. I thought for sure I was the next big stylist/hair cutter, never realizing how bad it actually was, but she never said a bad word about it and would praise me even. :) I'm sure it was all because she'd get a half hour massage or longer afterwards and she always enjoyed those immensely. She was a teacher at a beauty school, so cutting hair was her thing. She was the first to give me my first real "do". I was in the 10th grade and she feathered my hair. OMG... I loved it... altho it took a few good days to accept it.

After that, she cut my hair for years. When I think back, she was a great hair stylist. After she got older, she had a hard time teaching. She fell behind in knowledge and ability, and eventually was let go. This is when she started going down hill. It's sad to think about how ppl let their jobs become their life and when it's gone, they stop living. I think not working truly affected her, and I think, now, that she was probably sick back then. She started to lose her memory and I seriously thought she had gotten Alzheimer's, but whose to say. Maybe the cancer had spread to her brain and that, like the colon cancer, wasn't detected by the doctors.

Anyway.... I could write a very long post about this, but I'll end it now. I will definitely remember her fondly, think about her often and hope that she's with her sister and brother in Heaven. I wonder if she knows that I'm thinking about her and I hope she can feel it, see it, and know it. I feel sad about the fact that I haven't seen her in six years and that this Christmas I got a card from her thanking me for the Christmas card that I sent to her... knowing I didn't send out cards this year and knowing it was last year that I mailed the cards.... and sad that it wasn't but a month ago that I got the card from Hashim in California and talked to my mom about how her handwriting looked liked that of a 80 + year old woman and how sad that was....

She was cremated, by her daughters, and her ashes will be scattered in Madison some place.... I pray that it's beautiful that day and butterflies are flying around her ashes.... I hope to see you again my dear Aunt Pat.

Life and what's in it....

Funny how I lay in bed now, in the early morning or early evening, watching the trees bend with the wind, listening to the windchimes that I brought from the States (thinking about California - coz my sister has so many of them and they sound so beautiful when the wind blows), and I realize that Bahrain is now my home. One day I know we may go back to the States, but it won't be any time soon... and this time it feels okay. Even when we landed in Bahrain and left the airport, I usually have this feeling of sadness when I look at so many girls covered in black, but this time, I didn't.

This time, strangely enough, as I was waiting for Hashim to hail a cab/find transportation, several different girls came up and talked to Naief, kissed him and said hello. It was a nice welcoming and made me feel different...

I've heard other expats say this about having children here, but not until now did I have the experience - and there is something about it... something that welcomes you.

While I was in California, I found myself feeling like it was a bittersweet stay. My mom was sick and in bed for most of the time - not every waking hour, but more than I'm used to, and it was difficult. Difficult in that I don't like seeing her ill, weak and getting older - but it's a fact of life. And she's become quite crabby in her old age. She gets mad easily and then pouts heavily if you hurt her feelings or make her mad and such. It's true when they say that older ppl tend to become like children again because I see her doing that at times. And sister... this isn't a blog for mother to read! nor to share... so if you're reading this, keep it to yourself please.

I don't argue w/ my mom any more. I just refuse to, no matter how mad she makes me or if she says something that bothers me... I just see her and can't. I see no reason in upsetting her, altho I know I do at times, but nowadays, I'd never do it intentionally. I tell my sister not to argue w/ her, but I think it's harder for one when they live w/ that person and see it and live w/ a variety of stresses daily, and it's easier for me to come in and say something or tell her to do this or do that because I'm not living with it... but when I see the two of them and if there's tension between them.. I think back to when I was younger and more argumentative w/ her and try to see my sister's point of view and such... but even then it's hard. So... that was bittersweet.

Then w/ my sister, she was busy w/ work and her life, friends, family and such.... and the days passed so quickly. So I found myself getting aggravated w/ her for not giving more time to our time there, but life has a funny way of pulling you away from things, doesn't it?!! I'm glad she stays busy and has such a social life... me, I'm much different. I guess in some ways I felt jealousy in that I wished I was more like her at times. She'll die when she reads this... but it's true.

anyway... all in all, I'm doing better than I was before I left Bahrain and I'm happy for that. Hubby is telling me to come - he's ready to go home... so I'll wrap this post up here... just wanted to let you guys know how I'm doing... my emotions are better... :)

back and rested

We've been back for a couple of weeks now and finally starting to feel like I'm back in the game. Feel rested and happy... which is always a good thing.

Traveling w/ Naief went well - a lot better than I expected. Had heard a lot of horror stories about traveling w/ children, but didn't experience any of that w/ him. The only probs we had were when we spent the night in London. He couldn't fall asleep for anything and cried most of the night away, but slept well on the flight, so it all worked out okay. Getting him back on the time here was a bit difficult, but he's finally settled in and all is well.

The one big issue when we got home was that the woman we have working for us didn't pay attention to the cats and one of my favorite kitties got out and is gone. I was heart broken for days. When I told her, she blamed Hashim's friend who had been house sitting for us. I don't know who did it, but I think it was probably her, since she's very absent-minded and doesn't pay attention to much that's going on around her. I've been calling Porsche and looking out for her, but still nothing. She was such a sweet girl and I wonder if she's still alive.... because.....

I guess about five months ago, our cat, Wilson, got out thru an open window that the woman left open and didn't come back. I called out to him and nothing. I think I may have even blogged about it... because I think the day he got out, I heard the wild dogs that night and thought that maybe he had been killed and figured I'd never see him again.

Well... the night we came home from the airport, I saw a cat that looked just like Wilson cross the street in front of me and, at that time, I thought it might be Wilson, but then figured it was the outside cat that I take care of that looks just like Wilson, but is called Tigger. Once we got inside the house, I realized that Tigger was inside our house! so it couldn't have been him... but I let go of it and didn't think about it again until a few nights ago.

I was standing at our bedroom window and saw a cat - looking just like Wilson - run up a tree when the neighbors came out of their house. After they left, I called his name and he turned around and looked at me. It was then that I saw the white rings around his eyes and knew it was Wilson. I called his name again and heard him cry back to me... and to hear Wilson cry, well, there is no mistaking him for another because it's such a pathetic little cry! :)

I told Hashim that it was Wilson and went down to the street and over to the neighbors immediately. I walked the front of their house calling to him, but nothing. Then... as I was turning the corner, Hashim said, "look there", and low and behold, it was him crouched down in the middle of the street. I said his name again and he cried and came over to me. I slowly bent down and stroked him... thinking that maybe he'd run since it had been sooooo long... but he didn't. He cried and cried, so I picked him up.

Now... he's back in our cat family and everything is the same as it was before... altho he's much thinner now. It took a day of keeping him in another room for him to calm down a bit, and after letting him out w/ the rest of the cats and fearing that there would be some major cat fights, I'm happy to report that there were none and they've welcomed him home.

It's weird because I didn't take Wilson as a survivor. He was shy and a wimp. I would have never thought he would have been able to go up against the wild cats outside, let alone survive on the streets w/ cars.... something he wasn't used to. But he did!! He has a few scars on his ears, is super thin, but I'm really thrilled to have him home.

This fact helps me to have hope for Porsche. I hope that I see her again and that she makes her way back to our neighborhood and home.

other than this.... the house was a complete and utter mess when we came home. I don't think she had cleaned for weeks - or it smelled that way. She's been cleaning like a mad woman since we came home and since hubby threatened w/ sending her back.... I hope it stays this way.

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And for missing my family... I do, but I know it won't be long before I see them again. I'm hoping that my sister and mom come for a visit this year of next.... they say they will, but I've heard that before! ;)

I had such a good time in California. I love being there. I love the ocean, the trees, the mountains, the fresh air, the clouds, the rain (altho it rained too much for my blood this time), and I love being around my mom and sister. Naief had such a good time with Katelyn and I miss that every time I look at a picture, but the next time he'll be bigger and will be able to play more, which will make her happier because she won't have to fear that he'll tear up her toys! ;) Even though he didn't break one thing!

anyway... we're going to the Spring Culture event tonight and I'm so looking forward to it. We're taking my husband's mother for her birthday and I hope she likes it as much as I'm sure I will.

Good day all....

birthday pics

Finally getting around to posting some pics from Naief''s bday party. We had a jumpy house that all the kids loved, balloons out front to identify the house ;) and loads of cake. Think we might have a few pieces left in case any of you want some... I could express it to you :)

All in all I think he had a nice birthday party and one that we'll always remember.

We went to Laguna Beach this past Monday. It was fantastic. The weather was incredible and there were tons of ppl out enjoying the sun. Naief was so good. We stayed for three hours - yes, w/ plenty of sunscreen - while Katelyn played in the water and looked for shells, and Naief stood in the water for a few waves and laughed every time the water would come up to his legs... it was so adorable.

He was exhausted by the time we got home - all of us were actually.

We're thinking of going to Hollywood tomorrow and going to the big aquariam in Orange County this weekend. I think Naief will have a wonderful time... especially seeing that he loves fish...

happy day and smiles to you!

miss thang is returning

oh lordy, today's the day... my sister, the mean puss, returns. it's been so quiet here in the house w/out her here. quiet in a good way, i might add! ;) i've not had chores for several days and i'm sorta getting used to it! altho, with the withdrawals i've been having from not hearing her bark orders at me every morning... i couldn't help but get up and clean the house! :) so... maybe i do have a bit of sympathy inside for her... but not much!! hehehehe

she's been gone since thursday for a class in houston and comes home tonight around 8 pm. she now has the crap/cold/flu we've been passing around in the house since early december (and i'm finally well, thank goodness), and you'd think from the way she's acting that she's dying. makes me laugh really. yeah, yeah... how mean of me... i know. but i can't help it. i was so sick for weeks and she didn't have any sympathy for me or if she did she didn't show it.

she called yesterday whining and carrying on and this morning she called to tell us how she couldn't make it to her class because of how sick she is, and that her suitcase broke so she was out shopping for a new one... shopping and sickness - do they go hand in hand??!! i can only imagine tomorrow. we're all gearing up for it. she'll probably be in bed all day yelling for us to come to her to bring her water, food and whatnot. ;) and when she gets up... watch out!

poor thang... i know how she feels, but dear sister... i also know how you left me here and went to your friend's house when i was sick as a dog and didn't even offer to babysit for me!!! so... get ready, for tomorrow you have tons of cleaning to do and me and the hubby are going out and you'll be watching the baby! ;)

get well soon!!!! :) :)

As of late...

Most of the good birthday pics are on my sis' camera, so before getting them off of there, thought I'd share a couple of cute pics of Naief eating his bday cake at his party and one cute one of him and Katelyn outside prior to the party, and I'll also throw in a couple others just for good measure.

This last one here is of the mountains just a few days back. It's been snowing a lot up there and since the sky was so clear, just couldn't help getting a pic of it. We're thinking of driving up to Big Bear for a day. My sis is leaving tomorrow a.m. for Houston to take some course for 3 days, so it'll be quiet around here.... so what better time to hop in the car and take a drive... especially one that'll be so scenic!

I'll post some pics of the party soon.... we had a good time. I'm happy to say that Naief didn't cry, wasn't afraid of the ppl or kids and seemed to thoroughly enjoy the pizza, chips & dips, and homemade chili from his pappa. I'm tellin' ya, this kid eats everything!! And surprisingly, he wasn't all strung out from the sugar overload like I thought he'd be... he took a big nap not long after these pics.... could hardly believe it! :)

phew, can you believe it!!! :)

I hardly can... it's been ONE FULL YEAR TODAY....

wow, how time flies when a baby is growing!

Happy Birthday little boy....

a fabulous read

My sister introduced me to this book when I got to Calif. It's only been in the last 3 days that I've picked it up. Now, I can't put it down. Stayed up until 2 a.m. last night reading this darn thing and woke up at 6 thinking about it. Actually, I couldn't fall back to sleep because my mind kept going over everything that had happened.

Then I started thinking about hubby leaving and the fact that he'll be here tomorrow.... so sleep, I knew, would not come back to me.

This book pulls on my heart strings. I found myself crying at several points last night... when Amir's father died, when his best friend from childhood, Hassan, and Hassan's wife had been shot by the Taliban in Afghanistan. This was all after learning that Hassan had been his brother which only made the shame in his heart all the heavier because of what he had done to Hassan and his father,
Ali, years ago.

Then to find out that Hassan had a son and Amir is given the task of returning to war torn Afghanistan to find him.... but... is he a strong enough man to do this?

This is where I am at the moment. I can hardly wait to get back to it, but there are so many things to do today, so I guess it'll be another late night for me tonight. :) And really, I can't wait. I love books like this.... the ones that capture me immediately, hold on and don't let go until the bitter end.

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Naief's bday party is this Saturday. Hashim gets in tomorrow at 1 - I can hardly wait. We found out last night that more ppl are coming than first expected so I called the bakery this morning and changed the cake order. Have to run to the Dollar Tree shortly to pick up more decorations, plates, napkins, table cloths, toys for two addt'l bags for the addt'l kids, and I should be ready.

Me and my sis will make the menu tonight... what to make, what to make. I think we're doing pizza and some fabulous chicken from some mexican place, and then lots of dips and finger foods, beer, sodas and maybe a few games. I'm also thinking or will prob get one of those big bouncy tent things for the kids.... I just hope it doesn't rain.

The rain seems to linger and linger. I love the rain, but I'm truly sick of it. I want it to warm up, get sunny and allow us some time to enjoy some sight seeing and maybe even go to the ocean w/ Naief. Not to swim mind you, but just to walk, play in the water - maybe a little - and relax.

Hashim has been so busy at work and then spending all his other hours in the studio. He's totally ready for a relaxing vacation... and I'm so ready for him to be here. I hope the baby recognizes him .... but I'm sure if he doesn't, it won't take any time for him to realize who it is.

aaahhhhh... this is my first bday party to throw. I'm anxious. I'm not a big "life of the party" type of person, so I opted out of opening the presents in front of everyone and we'll wait for Naief's bday to do so. I just hope I'm calm on Saturday and able to relax and enjoy his first birthday party.

Kennedy backs Obama

Caroline Kennedy has come out in favor of Barack Obama (NEW YORK (AP) - The daughter of President John F. Kennedy is endorsing Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama. Caroline Kennedy says Obama can inspire Americans in the same way her father once did.).

I'm thrilled to read this. I really like Obama and would like to see him as the next American President. Despite all the smear campaigns going on right now against him - with the Muslim thing getting national attention again - I just hope he overcomes and ppl see the true side to Hilary Clinton and what her camp is up to and that it's all lies.

It's really sad in this day and age that ppl can send out emails to the masses discussing his religious affiliations or upbringing and have it affect his campaign or possible seat in the White House. It's sad that it's looked down upon - his being raised by a Muslim father and not in this country - it's just really a shame that ppl, in this day and age, are still so shallow.

Ppl like to brag about how far America has come, has un-racist we are, but it's alive and well today... as evidenced by the ppl trying to smear Obama on such things.

I hope we can all rise above this... and who gives a damn if he is Muslim!!! Does that make him a bad person? No. I am married to a Muslim, I converted to Islam, our child is Muslim....

I'm here to tell you, it's not a bad thing!

this ain't fun....

Me and the baby have been sick for over three wks now, w/ the worst of it hitting us over the last week 1/2. I brought meds w/ me from Bahrain just in case the baby got sick and figured that if I got anything, I could pick up meds here.... or so I thought.

Went to the pharmacist the other day to find out what's best for this crap that's ailing me and she told me to get Mucinex for congestion and coughing and Claridan D for the runny/stopped up nose. I picked up the Mucinex then headed over to the pharmacy area to get the Claridan... seeing that's it kept back there under lock and key. I figured they kept it back there to keep potential drug users from getting ahold of it, but, come to find out from sisterpoo, they just recently made it over the counter - since it used to be by prescription only.

So I wait in line to get up to the counter for what seemed like eternity and when my time finally rolled around, I go up there, ask for it, she gives it to me and then asks to see my identification. I pull out my passport (as I was told I needed it from another pharmacist to get the medicine) and they wouldn't take it. In order for me to get any medicine that's behind the counter, I have to have a valid ID or driver's license from Calif. I was totally miffed, to say the least.

Couldn't believe it really. I told her that I had been told at Walmart that I could get it w/ my passport, but she refused, saying that it's State law that in order for me to obtain this med, I would have to show a valid ID from the State of California.

Here I am sick, needing this med, but can't get it. I came home, told my mom to get her ID. In disbelief that they wouldn't give it to me and cussing under her breath... we start out the door to go and get it, but... just as we're about to leave, sisterpoo gives me some regular Claridan that she has, tells me it's the same and to use it.

So, I used it and am now out. Me and mom, baby and niece are about to head out to try and pick up the infamous "other" medicine, so we shall see if we're allowed to get it. Sometimes the crap that you have to put up with here in the States gets under my skin.

I hate being sick.

change, change, change

In less than a month, Naief will be a year old. Can hardly believe it really. Time does pass fast when they're growing and changing so much. Everybody tells me to enjoy it now because they grow so fast, and I agree, but, truthfully, I'm looking forward to all of those changes and to him getting older.

He's already starting to stand in one place by himself. He'll push up either from me or from the floor and stand in one place for several seconds. Last night I actually thought he was going to take a step, but he didn't. I think that'll prob come when he's not thinking about it. Right now, he's getting his legs.. they still wobble a little. It reminds me of a fawn.... they way they get up with their legs spread wide apart, go back down and then get right back up. He does the same, even w/ the legs spread apart. Makes me smile and laugh.

He's also now clapping. Wasn't sure when or if he'd learn to do that since I think many kids were doing it way before him, but my mom taught him a few wks back and now he does it all the time. :) He's not clapping along w/ Pat a Cake or If You're Happy and You Know It, but I know he will be before long.

And something that is surprising me to no ends is the fact that he's cutting 4 teeth at once! He actually skipped his canine teeth on the bottom and started cutting two teeth back from those on each side. Didn't realize babies cut two teeth at once and skipped teeth like that, but he is. He now almost has 12 teeth.

He also loves music and when he's standing will do a little jig. It's so cute. He'll bounce on his little legs to the music. And talking about music, he's also very interested in musical instruments. My sister has a banjo or something and he loves to sit and strum it. I'm sure his daddy will be really happy about that. I think he's also singing. He'll hold notes for long periods of time when someone is singing or if he hears singing on the TV. I know lots of parents say stuff like that.... that their children started singing at 2 or some such, now I see why they say that. Coz he's doing that... or if it's not that, it sure sounds like it. I hope it is... especially since Hashim loves to sing and his momma loves to sing... sounds right to me. :)

Being here has been great. He loves my mom and I love seeing the two of them together. I only wish she could be around us all of the time... I really wish that could be. His grandparents in Bahrain just aren't the same with him... I wish they were, but it's different and when the time comes to go back to Bahrain, I will really miss the interaction between him and my mom. I can't even go there really....

cloned meat

Heard this yesterday, not sure if it's a new thing or something that's been around for a bit, but apparently they're starting to put cloned meat into the grocery stores, and from what I understand, it's not labeled as such.

I'm not a huge meat eater, but even if I were, I really don't know how I'd feel about eating cloned meat.... maybe I have already and just didn't know it.

Many of you may see no problem w/ it... meat is meat... but, to me, it just seems... not right.

This whole cloning thing doesn't sit right w/ me. I'm not for it. Don't believe in it.

I can't help but to think, "where does God stand in all of this?", but I'm funny that way.

Also read where they're thinking of approving cloned milk....

Really... I have a big problem with all of this. I wonder if the Arab world will allow this? I hope not! For now... I think I'm gonna stop eating meat here, or go to the Arab market and get my meat!

office spyware

Was watching CNN this morning and it seems that Microsoft has just patented a new thing called Office Spyware. It'll allow employers to watch what they're employees are doing on their computers, gauge their heartbeats, temperature and such. Until recently, it's only been used by NASA and in fighter jets.

Makes me wonder... would you want your employer watching what you're doing on your computer? They could call it up remotely, even, and watch you w/out you ever knowing... but hey, I guess it's no different than what they're doing here w/ respect to listening in on telephone conversations to the Middle East and such.

Seems a bit creepy to me, and not something I'd like at all. Who wants to be watched like that? I can't even stand someone to stand behind me when I'm typing...

voices and accents

My sis, Jahooni, was talking on her blog about accents, so it made me think about accents and voices. And if you haven't checked out her blog as of late... you might want to... she seems to be in a rather spunky mood as of late.

Before moving to Bahrain, I was pretty lame in that the British accent was a pretty big deal to me. Yeah, I'm small town! ;) Now, after hearing accents from all over the globe, I must admit that my preferences have changed a bit. Not that the British accent still isn't a favorite mind you, but after falling for the hubby, I would have to say that his accent is now my favorite. It just has this ..... how do I put it... well, it makes me tingle all over!! It's very sexy, deep... and just the way he says his words... aaahhh, I'm like chocolate in his hands! ;) hmmmm... I wonder if that's a bad thing?!! you think?? ;)

And... coming in a close 2nd would have to be the German accent. Just love it.... and wouldn't ya know it, hubby can speak some German! ;) and with a good accent!! hmmm....

Then, I'd have to say, that my old favorite, British, pulls in a third... but, even in saying that, I have a hard time distinguishing between the British, Scottish and Irish accent. They all sound very similar to me, altho I know they're not and are different in their own special way... I sorta liken it to the various accents in the States. But.. I will say, that over time, I think I'll get to the point that I can tell the difference or hope I can because in thinking about it, I can also say that I have a hard time telling the difference between the British and South African in some ppl. I think that between those three, the Irish is the easiest for me to pick out.... I'm sure all you Brits would strongly disagree w/ my evaluation here... but like I said, I'm small town! ;)

I really like the French accent, but I find it difficult to understand.... and talk about not understanding.. I have a hard time with the Indian accents. Not all, but many. I have some Indian friends that have British accents, but the guys that you find working in shops around Bahrain or the guys who work in gas stations and such in the States... well, forget about it, I can't understand a word that comes outta their mouths. Indians talk so fast... I think that's a big part of it.

anyway... this is my take on accents.. and the voices, well... to me, they just make a good accent all the better....

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday Hashim!!! I hope you have a wonderful day, and that your every wish comes true in the coming year.

I miss you and can hardly wait to see you... only a couple more weeks!

Naf Naf sends kisses, smiles and love.

look at me

This is the first time that Naief has stood on his own.

My sister snapped these shots tonight while he stood for maybe 10 to 15 seconds. Not a great length of time, but standing nonetheless.

I could hardly believe it. And at one point, I could swear that he was going to take a step... but he didn't.

I think he'll wait for you, hubby, to walk... but grandma thinks he'll be walking in the next couple of weeks! Just so you know, he was thrilled at standing and giggled while he stood there.

happy day

It's been raining in California for two days straight now. The clouds are low over the mountains, the sky is grey and it's quite chilly outside. I love it. Heard that Bahrain is having similar weather and that it's down to about 56.... about time that cold weather has finally moved in!

(this pic is of the night sky from my sis' back yard... or right before it got dark... it was so pretty. the pic doesn't do it justice)

Naief's 1st bday is coming soon and we've been putting together the details for a party here at my sister's house. Went out and got a bunch of things the other night at the Dollar Tree (boy do they have cute, inexpensive stuff!!) and we'll plan to have a "ball" theme.... that'll include soccer balls, footballs, baseballs and basketballs. He loves balls of all kinds, so can't imagine doing it any other way really.

I know he won't remember anything, but since I'm terribly sentimental and since it's here w/ my family, and since I'll be adding all the pics and such to his baby book, how could I not do it - - right?!! And it is his first birthday! Boy, time has travelled fast around us....

Naief has started walking w/ a walker (the stand up kind), has cut his 9th tooth, is getting into most everything and isn't afraid of the grass any more. We took him to the park the other day and he slid down a few of the slides w/ Katelyn and really liked it. He's pretty thrilled w/ sand and hasn't put any in his mouth - yet - but is putting most everything else in his mouth, actually anything his little hands can get ahold of! He's particularly fond of rocks and paper.

The other day I was eating Bit 'O Honey's, wading the papers together as I gobbled down each one and since I wasn't paying attention, I didn't realize that Naief got them and stuck every one of them into his mouth. I turned around and I swear, if he could, he would have smiled because he seemed so proud of himself... and yes, I took them out. My mom calls him a little billy goat.... seeing that his favorite past time seems to be eating cardboard and paper of any kind.... poor kid! At least he hasn't gotten ahold of any change. I swallowed a whole dish full of pennies when I was little, have a niece that loved sticking cigarette butts in her mouth and then one kid of my cousins played in toilets... so the way I look at it, I'm not doing too bad! ;)

Anyway... I hope all of you out there are well and the New Year is treating you kindly. Take care .... and sorry for not visiting blogs as of late. It's hard to get online unless the baby is asleep... so hopefully I'll see all of you around soon.