Monday, April 30, 2007

the big argument

(sorry... but this is a really long post... but worth the read, I think)

This past weekend, my MIL got a cabin for two nights at Al Bandar. She took it one night and me, the hubby and Naief took it the 2nd night. Since we usually have lunch w/ the family on Friday's and since MIL was staying in the cabin on Friday, it was decided that everyone would do lunch there. We were told to be there around 1:30 p.m. or so.... but since most everyone is always late for lunches like this, we showed up at 2 pm.

We pull up, get out and put the baby in the stroller and head to the cabin. Once there, we knock, the door opens and we go in. My SIL, who married into the family, is there w/ her son who is almost 2 yrs old. She's holding him and comes over to say hello and kisses my cheeks - as is the custom here.

Since my housemaid was told by her housemaid that her son was very sick just two days prior to this - running fever and possibly w/ chicken pocks (even tho the SIL made it very clear to her housemaid not to tell anyone in the family that her child was sick or so we were told), I, not caring if this was supposed to be a secret, immediately asked if her son was sick. I could tell she didn't like it and she went on and on that her son wasn't sick.

As I was getting Naief out of the stroller, my husband went outside to get a few things from the car and SIL followed him out to ask why I'm always asking her if her son is sick. Hubby didn't tell me this until we were sitting down to lunch, which btw, SIL, MIL, housemaid and SIL's sister all went to the pool area for a swim fest, so it was only me and the hubby and Naief at lunch.

Needless to say, when hubby told me what SIL said, it pissed me off because one, she told him thinking that he would reign me in and tell me a thing or two so as not to upset her in the future and two, it just pissed me off because she didn't have the nerve to say it to my face.... she's always going around trying to stab ppl in the back. Here's a little history about this girl/woman/demonic thing that some of you might like to know.

She has caused me problems from the very start - even before she married into the family. I suppose she made it her mission in life to make sure I didn't marry my husband or to cause me such emotional stress that I would question everything related to him, Bahrain and Arabs in general and then, because of this, me and the hubby would eventually break up or some such thing.

I can remember the first time I came to Bahrain to meet the family. She was over to the house w/ some other girl and hubby's sister, and when we came inside from being out, she started flirting so heavily w/ hubby and was wearing such revealing clothes that I started to wonder if all the girls were like this and why didn't she have any respect for the fact that we were engaged.... so when I came here to live a couple of yrs later, I was shocked to see that this same girl was marrying my husband's brother! fun fun

There is so much about this girl that I can not stand. I could probably write continuous blogs about her and the things she said and did in the beginning of my life here, and all the things she still does (it's my real life soap opera).... but.... instead, I'll get to the point. Oh... but let me say one more thing about this and then I'll get to the somewhat juicy details.

All this stuff w/ this guy Cho and the killings at Virginia Tech made me start thinking about my years in junior high and how I hated it and why, etc., etc..... so needless to say, I was feeling a lot of sadness the other day and because of that, I decided for my husband's and son's sake, I would try to turn over a new leaf and not let these type of situations cause me stress, and instead of playing all nicey nicey and letting certain ppl walk all over me, so as not to offend anyone, I decided it best to start speaking up about the things I care about.

So w/ this said.... here are the juicy details... ok, maybe you guys won't think them all that juicy, but they are to me because this is the first time, ever, to go against the family (why do I always envision the mafia when I think about this?!) and speak up or make a scene - you could say.... which is pretty much never done in the family. It's usually said or done behind the person's back, which I literally can NOT stand.... because I hate two-faced ppl.

After lunch, we head back to the cabin. I first wanted to head over to the pool area so I could speak to her face to face, but hubby said it could easily turn into a huge scene, and not wanting to embarrass my MIL, my husband and myself, I agree and decide to phone her instead. You all may be wondering why this particular situation is the one that struck a nerve... all I can say is that I think this has been building for years, and since this girl is married to my BIL, it isn't real easy to just say something. She fully believes she's a princess, but she is nothing more than one of the ugly stepsisters.... and since I'm not afraid of her, this was my opportunity to get heard and to stare the new side of my leaf in the face!

From our room, we could see them over at the baby pool. The demonic bitch, ooops, I mean thing, is sitting at one of the tables w/ her rude sister and my MIL. BIL is w/ the housemaid at the pool area tending to the child... like always.

The first call shows that she's on the other line. I wait a few minutes and call her back. I'm using hubby's phone coz I know she'll pick up.... and she does. I immediately tell her that I'm calling because hubby told me that she had an issue w/ my asking if her son was sick. Without hesitation, she starts her crap telling me that I always ask if her son is sick and why, blah, blah, blah. I raise my voice and tell her to please stop talking in order for me to tell her the reason for my call. She stops talking for probably 10 seconds... this is when I tell her that I asked if her son was sick because two days prior they had taken him to the hospital w/ a very high fever and what looked to be chicken pocks. She said that he wasn't sick and that it was one of his normal visits.

This is when I said, "then why did your housemaid tell my housemaid that he was really sick and not to tell anyone". She started screaming and said that she didn't care what her housemaid said and that her son wasn't sick. I come back w/ the fact that he looks sick and that my son is only 2 1/2 mths old, has only had one dose of his injections and that he could very easily get whatever her son had, and that it did matter to me if her son was sick because I didn't want my son getting sick. At this point, she starts talking non-stop. Going on and on about how this is her son and how I shouldn't ask this. This is when I raise my voice again and ask her to stop talking (which is a joke because she doesn't understand what it means not to talk). She screams back that she won't stop talking, so I start talking non-stop w/ my voice raised, so as to drown her out... and tell her that I asked because her son is ALWAYS sick and that everyone knows it and how she takes her son to the school sick and that I knew this and so did my other SIL, and that she never lets her son get well, and again I state that my son is a baby and that I will not have him around her child when he's sick or around any one that is sick.

At some point, she tells me that I should leave my son at home if I'm so worried about him getting sick, and I tell her that I do and have always done that, and that she should leave her son at home if he's sick. (sidebar - we are both pretty much screaming at this point and why it went to screaming w/ her is beyond me. I basically started yelling because she wouldn't shut her mouth and when she raised her voice while talking non-stop, I did the same because she wasn't going to do what she always does to me.... because this time, it was about our child.... this time I wasn't going to be polite)

I proceed to tell her that I did nothing wrong in asking if her son was sick, and that I would never stop asking because if it's not her son then it's my other SIL's child that's sick, and that both of their children are always sick (which is the truth) and I didn't want my baby to get sick. Since she continued to say whatever she was saying and not allowing me to talk, I started saying this sentence over and over again, until she got so mad that she told me that she never wanted to see me again and that's when I yelled, "that is fine w/ me".... and at this point, she hung up the phone.

At this point, I tell hubby that I want to leave. I have not been able to stand this wannabe princess/demonic thing since the very beginning but have held my tongue for the sake of the family and for my husband, but since he was fine w/ my telling her what I thought.... well.... I can't tell you the weight it took off of my shoulders. I don't care if I ever see her again. For two years now she's been doing this "I'm like your sister" crap w/ me... all the while I say ok and let her think I believe it. But see... I've never trusted her and she would never be like a sister to me. I always knew she was saying things.... but only until recently did I hear what was being said by the gossip of her housemaid to my housemaid.... they're both Sri Lankan and they talk about everyone and everything. (and w/ the things I know now.... there are some around here that need to be very careful about what they're doing because these housemaids and yard guys know every little bitty secret that's out there!!)

Once we're home, the hubby gets a call from his mom. I knew it wouldn't be long until someone called, but I figured it would be my BIL if the truth be known. Hubby said that she asked if I was okay and he laughed a little and said that I was fine. They talked a little about what took place and then hung up. Hubby saw BIL yesterday and he said nothing. I wonder what that means.

You know, in the States, it is commonplace to ask about the welfare of someone else's child when it has a direct impact on your child. My sister has events cancelled all the time, outings w/ friends rescheduled because of a child being sick. My niece is sent home from school if she has a runny nose.... being sick or having your child get sick from someone else isn't what parents want..... why is it so different here? Many don't seem to take care if their child is ill. They send them off to school to infect all the other kids and they're taken out to the malls and whatnot, when they should be home in bed. I just don't understand it... but I know this.... I will continue to ask if these kids are sick and I don't give a damn if it pisses them off. I have a right to protect my baby.

Yeah, I know there'll be a time when he gets sick, and when he starts school he'll probably get sick a lot.... I know this. But for now... I have a right not to want him around kids, even if they're related, that are sick.

This argument has done a couple of really good things. One, I don't have to pretend to like the demonic thing any more and two, everyone knows now that I'm not playing around any more, and I guess they can look at me as the rude American... because now... I will say what I think. So be it..... I guess I'm rude and an American... Lord help us.

Monday, April 23, 2007

Is it just me?

Or are there other ppl out there that think it strange that some MP from Muharraq thinks that shops should take down window mannequins because they're dressed too provocatively. And not only that, but video/dvd shops should take down posters that are too sexy ... the ones showing the female breasts. Are there shops in Muharraq showing such? I know our video store doesn't have such hanging.... hmmm... what's going on in Muharraq! ;)

Gosh... it wasn't but .... what, a year or so ago that this debate was taking place and here it comes UP again. I guess this MP just can't let the mannequin issue die.

Are there ppl out there that are turned on by store mannequins? Is there some sort of fetish for these things that I didn't know about? This guy says that ppl have complained about the way mannequins are dressed... saying it's against Islam because the shirts of these mannequins are see through and you can see their breasts.

Ok... there's that word breast again.

First off.... it's a MANNEQUIN.... not a person. Not a real female... guy, and I can't think of one time that I've ever seen guys standing around gawking at the mannequin and being turned on. So.... are there females out there jealous of mannequins or something? Why would women get mad over see through tops on these things? And what women are going to their MPs complaining about such?

Life is too short ppl. Get a grip. If the time has come where men and women are being turned on and having sexual fantasies about mannequins.... well.... I'm at a loss for words.

I wouldn't doubt that the next time I'm in the Muharraq area that I'll not see one mannequin w/ provocative clothing on..... how dare they sell such clothes and allow men to see mannequin breasts! maybe they should put bras on these gals... you think?


Naief had crying, screaming fits today. Most of the day matter of fact. I'm dead tired and having insomnia issues and I'm assuming he can sense something in me.

It seemed that nothing I did today soothed him and it makes me feel totally helpless. It honestly felt like he was mad at me or decided not to like me or something. I would try to hold and comfort him and he'd get soooo mad and cry even harder.

I don't know if it's the fact that we had to change his formula this morning. We ran out of the NAN and when Hashim went to get some this morn., they were out.... so we had to switch to S26 again and he hates it. Yeah, he drinks it but fights it for at least 5 mins.

Usually he's all talkative w/ me.... gurgling about this and that but today.... he would have none of it. We gave him a bath tonight and he screamed during that... but after giving him a nice lotion massage he seemed to calm down and actually smiled at me.

He's sleeping now and I've taken two panadol night tablets in hopes that I'll get some rest before he wakes up around 3:30 or so. So far... I'm still wide awake. Maybe getting this stuff off my mind will help and I'll be able to fall asleep w/ him.


Oh yeah, one more issue. Our housemaid goes to church on Fridays. Well, two Friday's ago or Sat. morning while cooking, she asked me about what she called "blue movies". I know what these are but was a bit shocked that she brought this issue up w/ me. Well, come to find out, some woman, a Sri Lankan girl, has come up to her a few times outside of their church and asked if she wanted to buy sexual movies of 9 yr old girls!!!!

As soon as she told me this, I got livid. I told her that I wanted the telephone number of this girl, and that I would be turning that number over to the police. Well.... for one reason or another, she hasn't given me the number. She told me that she doesn't know this girl, and I told her to casually ask her for her telephone number - to act interested or something. If she gets it, I will call the police and report this.

This stuff makes me sick and to think that ppl are buying such... yeah, I know there are those out there w/ this sick kind of mind.... but I had hoped it would be different here. But it's not.... altho everyone wants to pretend that it doesn't happen here.

Mentioning our housemaid... well, she's starting to speak pretty good English and we can carry on a conversation pretty much now.... and you wouldn't believe all the gossip and stuff this girl knows. She gets it from her husband and he gets it straight from the horses mouth most times. unbelievable stuff... i will say that.

Sunday, April 22, 2007

the killing spree

who hasn't heard of the Virginia Tech shootings on the 16th? do you find yourself wondering, like me, what could cause someone to go on such a shooting rampage? was he crazy? mentally ill? some say he was... but when things like this happen, i find myself wondering about the individual... what caused that person to snap on that day?

cho had been planning this spree for months.... maybe even years. many are saying that he had a hit list back in high school... but would you say that that's a sign that ppl should look for when watching for other killers to emerge in the future? does a hit list make you a killer?

why would he have a hit list? was it because he was picked on? some ppl can be really cruel to others. some say that ppl picked on him because of his accent. saying that he murmured .... so what did cho do? he stopped talking. many at Virginia Tech assumed that he didn't speak fluent english and that's why he was so quiet.

i wonder when thinking about all of it... wondering if he had already gone over the edge at this point and was he past the point of no return even before starting at Virginia Tech. had the teasing and such been taken so far while in high school that it had made him sorta crazy? crazy in a sense that he hated these ppl or ppl like them for doing this to him.

and what about girls. from what ppl are saying, he stalked them... or some. two girls had turned him into police for doing such. his first victim was a girl that some say he had been having a relationship w/ while others are saying that it just isn't true. will anyone ever really know? the girl apparently had a boyfriend or had just broken up w/ her long time boyfriend. soooooo.... why did he kill her first, i wonder? she wasn't in his bldg. he walked to her bldg. and went to the 4th floor, where she was in her room and that's where he killed her.

tonight on this Fox News' special, they are saying that the two had a shouting match first, then a guy from down the hall came to her room to see what was going on and that's when the shooting occurred. he killed both of them...

he then left and waited for two hours before starting his 2nd killing spree. but why wait? had he anticipated what would happen? did he record his last message at this time? he mailed his manifesto and videos to NBC right before starting the 2nd spree....

his sister graduated from Princeton... an Ivy League school in the States.... his family moved to the U.S. when he was 8 yrs old. they have a dry cleaning business and have done everything possible to provide for their children - sending them to the best schools and such. when cho started at Virginia Tech, they had high hopes for him..... ppl are saying. can you imagine his family and how his mom and dad must feel? i wonder if they knew he had been in a mental hospital. the dr. that saw him at the hospital stated that cho seemed normal.

to be honest, when i think about this and try to analyze it... i find myself going to when he came to the States. i think about his years in junior high and high school. how mean kids can be... some teachers can also be rude and thoughtless when dealing w/ a student. i can remember this kid from my 4th grade class that used to get into hair pulling fights w/ our teacher. they'd get into knock down, drag out fights... and i'm not kidding you. i remember the kids name... i'll never forget it. i later found out that this kid had been abused, both physically and mentally, by his mother. she used to lock him in closets for long periods of time. this boy was really mean and i wonder what happened to him. it was a different time then... kids didn't bring guns to school and shoot ppl. sadly, he's probably abusing his own kids... if the truth be known.

so .... thinking about all of this makes me wonder. have you ever been picked on in school? been bullied, called names, had ppl pick fights w/ you for no reason other than being different?

they say that ppl should have known that cho was on the edge because of his writings. his creative writing teacher was very concerned about his mental state and even told the higher ups about him. this is why he had to go into the mental hospital - to be evaluated and to get counseling. i wonder if the dr. that evaluated him, now blames himself for not seeing the rage inside of this guy and calling it differently... wondering if it would have made a difference. it could have made it harder for him to get guns... that's one thing... altho he bought two of them off of eBay... and i wonder if they run checks before purchases of such on eBay....

i will say this.... there are many famous ppl/directors/writers out there that write such blood and gore on a monthly, if not more often, basis and make lots of money because of it. look at the movie, Pulp Fiction. what about Saw, Saw II, Saw III and others.... all of these films are filled w/ all of the same type of things that cho wrote about. killing. and about ppl who feel nothing for their victims.

these types of movies are mainstream America.... isn't America known for these types of movies? ppl get off on watching such. so... in looking at this guys' writing - cho.... was the writing a real indication of mental illness? i don't believe so. does it show that he was a murderer? he wrote about killing his teacher and other ppl.... turned these into his creative writing teacher... his fellow students were afraid of him and afraid to criticize or critique any of his work for fear that it would send him over the edge. but why? because the papers were filled w/ the blood and gore of someone that could have possibly turned his rage into such movies as other directors have done..... or so i think.... if he had been encouraged instead of criticized long ago..... or maybe not. maybe he was too far gone by this point.

what would you say finally drove him to viciously kill so many teachers and students?

school is tough... junior high and high school can be some of the roughest years for kids. if you don't have the right name, you're made fun of. if you look different, talk different, dress different or if you aren't rich enough or even too rich.... you can be bullied, teased or made fun of. some will do anything to make it a living hell for others... not caring and feeling an ounce of regret after their evil deed is done...

the guys who killed those kids at columbine were bullied.... for years prior, i believe.

does one ever forget what ppl say or how they treat you? i don't think so. i can remember being in the 7th and 8th grades and experiencing this. just the other day i was compiling some stuff to take to the embassy for Naief's passport and as i was looking thru my yearbooks, i was reminded of so many things. i have a yearbook from, i think, the 4th grade, that has "x's" over some ppl's faces.... what does that say about me?

my accent was made fun of when i moved to texas from indiana. they made fun of me for talking fast. they would say, "yankee, go home" and then mock me. even in junior high i was bullied by a few girls...

these aren't fond memories.

does this mean i'm sane in that it didn't send me over the edge? or is it because i'm a girl that it wasn't the same. is it different for guys? does it affect that male gender differently? to be honest, i had a hit list when i was young. it wasn't on paper but i had a list of ppl that i truly disliked in my head... i think it was when i was in the 3rd or 4th grade - i can remember back to my room but not my age... i wanted my teddy bear to come to life and do some serious damage to a few ppl. that were mean to me. not that i wanted teddy to get an automatic rifle and blow chunks outta ppl.... no... i just wanted teddy to hurt them in some form or fashion. maybe rip them to shreds w/ his claws or something... i can't recall.... - needless to say, i had and still have an active imagination...

maybe it started out that way for cho.... and for some reason it went in a very bad direction or was it that he was mentally ill from the very get go - from birth. would anything have mattered in his case? could someone have made a positive difference in his life?

what do you think?

Monday, April 09, 2007

My deepest sympathy

i got a Warden Message from the American Embassy just a little while ago about the Bahraini security guard that was shot in the head last week at BJs. He died today.

They're warning Americans of possible gatherings in various areas of Bahrain and for foreigners to be careful and such.

I didn't know him but for some reason it makes me really sad. I worked at the same place as the brother of this man's wife and Hashim used to work in the same department w/ the brother of the wife.... and I feel sorry for him. He said his sister collapsed upon hearing the news... I can only imagine the pain. They were only married for 3 mths. So much has been lost and I'm sure it'll take a long time to recover from such pain.

They suspected an American of shooting this guy. There were rumors that the security guard stopped some Americans from flirting w/ some girl outside the place. It makes me wonder... who carries guns w/ silencers?! Are the Navy guys allowed to leave w/ guns? Or could it be another guy like last time... a BDF officer?? I just know it sounds intentional.

I don't know and I wonder if they'll ever find out who did it. I hope they do. By some miracle, I hope they catch the person who did this horrible crime. Almost seems like they knew they were going to kill someone that night.... why carry a gun w/ a silencer! Who does this? Except murderers.

May God bless this family and the wife of this man. May He take her pain and give her a reason to smile again w/ God speed. And may this man, Abbas Shakhoori, rest in peace. My heart goes out to his family and hers.

cute news

for all of you interested in baby news... thought i'd tell ya the latest. first, Naief is getting so big. he got his first injections on the 5th, which made him cry soooo hard, but i felt so good because when i picked him up to soothe him, he quieted down rather quickly. he's a sensitive little soul and pouted a bit, but it wasn't too long and he was happy. the night was hard because the shot gave him a fever and the next day he cried a lot... but we gave him liquid drops and he was fine in no time. :) oh yeah, he weights 6 kilos!! 12 pounds! and he's 62 cms long!! he's at the top of his range... and i feel really proud that he's growing so nicely and is so healthy.

well... he doesn't cry a lot but when he gets fussy - like when he's fighting sleep and refuses to settle down and just let it overtake him - he cries and wiggles about a lot. so one day, i decided to try putting on some music and dancing around w/ him to see if he'd calm down. we have a huge variety of songs on the laptop, so i decided to play some Coldplay... and he LOVED it! he was screaming at one point and as soon as i put on Beautiful World, he stopped crying immediately and fell asleep. i must admit, this little boy has his momma's taste in music.

today i played some Gypsy Kings for him and he really seemed to enjoy the music. he just gazed off - seeming deep in thought and took his bottle w/out any problems. daddy also played some gregorian and he really enjoyed that as well. but, by far, his most favorite is alternative.... loving Coldplay w/ every play. :) and i happened to hear a bit of Somewhere Over the Rainbow today and sang along... he smiled and ooed and awwed w/ it... i think he's going to be a singer!

my best news by far for the day though is that he laughed out loud for the first time!! we were in the car going to the grocery store. he was in his car seat and i was sitting next to him talking away. well, i looked at him and he was staring at what seemed to be my hair. so i asked him... "do you like mommy's hair?" "do you think it's pretty or do you think it's ugly?" hashim laughed and said "pretty ugly mommy"... so i made a face and stuck out my tongue to Naief and moved my face towards him and when i did, he laughed out loud, then we all laughed. so... i guess he thought mom's hair was "pretty ugly!"

it touched my heart like you wouldn't believe. can't tell ya how it feels to see your baby laugh for the first time. he smiles all the time and it's sooooo cute. he's so expressive w/ his eyebrows and makes these little side of the mouth smiles... reminds me of Elvis! ;) and i love Elvis songs still... so i just think it's adorable!!

anyway... my days are filled w/ baby stuff. i entertain him a lot of the day and when i cook, he swings in his swing in the kitchen and usually falls asleep, which is nice. he loves to sleep on me and i let him.... and has started to really enjoy walking around w/ me looking at everything possible. he's not one for laying on the bed and doing nothing. makes me wonder how he'll be when he starts to get older. i know i'm a bit hyper and his daddy is too... so i can only imagine how baby will be!! :)

i'm doing good. still tired and not getting a good night's sleep. he still wakes up every two hours most nights and when morning comes, i'm usually just getting to sleep. so... needless to say i have big bags under my eyes that are oooohhhh so lovely! i had two wonderful nights where he only woke up once... but that didn't last long. he sleeps a lot during the day but i'm not a day sleeper... altho sometimes in the afternoons i can't help but to take a quick nap. this past weekend was good cuz hashim watched the baby and i slept for a good 4 hrs in the baby's room. i so much needed it but when i got up, i was more tired than when i went to bed. i long for the day when he sleeps thru the night!! i know it'll be months... and i so look forward to that day.

i hope all of you are doing good. i know i haven't been reading blogs .... and i hope to get back to reading some at night... since internet connection is back. i hope all of you are good.

baby is awake... and time for feeding.