Friday, November 06, 2009

a tad of this life

I'm bored today.... stiff, really. We took Naief to emergency last night w/ fever, cough, runny nose and whatnot, and first thing they wanted to do was send him to Salminiya to get H1N1 vaccine... which I quickly refused. Instead I got antibiotics and the other necessary drugs to help fight off this cold. They're not even doing tests for swine flu now... immediately send you for the injection if you have any of those above symptoms. How incredibly crazy is that???? So, he's sleeping... has a small, elevated temp, but all in all, is ok. We've been watching Polar Express most of the day..... and if his fever is down, might take him out to get some art supplies for painting... thought it might be fun to make flowers out of paper plates and then plant them in our outside garden. Need more paint though and a plastic thing for the table and we're set.

Hashim left last night for Belgium. Will be gone until Tuesday.... and since today is Friday, family lunch, how did I know that no food would be sent over here. How can I expect it or even think it might happen especially seeing that I royally pissed off the queen of all queen bees..... MIL. She rules that family.... have known it from the very beginning... all the lies.... all the things I was told that weren't the truth... but for the sake of my husband and to hopelessly want them to accept me, I never said a word. Just let things run their course... bitched a lot to friends and my husband (which isn't really the greatest thing to do).... but when you have so much anger... and pain... it happens.

Somebody, think Queen, remarked on my blog comments about the school that was supposed to be started up...... all I can do is laugh about this. Have to. I knew pretty quickly where things were headed. I was told... or rather my husband... one thing and when it came down to actually doing it, it wasn't going to be my way at all. They chose the designs, told me how it would be decorated, laid out, what to buy or not to buy - not giving the necessary money like promised to buy all the essentials - which I knew would happen. And it's not cheap to go out and buy stuff to start a nursery. It was obvious to me that it would be the same as what had been happening before w/ maybe a few minor changes... THE BIGGEST.... an AMERICAN teaching. and... for anyone who has read my blog or knows me... there is a reason behind this... but I wont get into it now.

Also, I was told I could hire however many ppl I wanted, which also turned out to be a lie. I was almost forced to hire to Bahraini's from her school and one couldn't even speak English!!!!! She had been the person to change diapers at her nursery... I flat out refused. Then was told to hire another woman that I didn't want to work with.... again refusing. So I sat out to post my own ads, which had to be okayed by her, needless to say, and the interviews began... in front of her at first, until I put a stop to that. But that didn't stop her from being involved and asking questions and okaying everything w/ my FIL. WHY HE WAS IN THE PICTURE.... I don't know.

Then... when it came down to buying books, materials, furniture.... play things, all the things YOU HAVE TO HAVE for a nursery, it wasn't happening. Hashim and I went to the BSPCA sale they were having and picked up many books, and purchased a bunch of cute pillows (that we took back), but as far as getting anything else that would be beneficial for having a nursery for 2 to 4 yr olds..... it just wasn't happening. And we didn't have tons of money to go out and buy all of this stuff... so I was told to wait. To open the nursery w/out anything... just a few books, which she showed me what she had, and put all the stuffed animals she had at her school (which were filthy) and the broken toys they had in many rooms in the nursery... and I refused.

There is soooooooooooooooooo much stuff.... it makes my head spin to sit and think about it.... and then.... my SIL started getting involved. Telling me who I was going to hire, making the rules - what hours it would operate - who would stay there, who would open the school, my refusal to allow sick children at the school (which they about had a heart attack over).... just everything really....

I told my husband that I couldn't do it. That I wouldn't do it. So he told his mother... who asked if this was my decision or his decision.... and knowing what we know about what you have to do in these parts ... he told her that it was his decision.

NOW..... after all of that... even being told to cut my vacation short so I could come here and start this school (this was all before I decided not to do it)..... they are selling the lease to the school and to that nursery!!!!!!!!!!!! Something I think was going to be done all along, but was being hidden or just not told to us. Here.... we would have bought all that stuff.... with no matter to her, obviously.... because after all, she was selling it. No wonder she didn't want or refused to give money to buy the necessary items when we were told it would be the case.

I was told by my husband that his mother thinks I should work for the new ppl.... NO THANK YOU. I do not want to work in a nursery.... or a school.... or teach. I have decided this. I'd like to do something along the lines of this Kindermusik... which I've looked in to, but I do not and will not try to teach again... and WILL NEVER GO INTO ANY BUSINESS WITH the in-laws.

This... may be boring for some of you... but I swear.. I think it could be a sitcom.... a successful one to boot. This is just a taste of what has happened recently.... two wks ago another situation happened.... this one bigger.... so... anyone interested in something like this... maybe we could make a go at it. Look at how big Raymond was.... but you know, the sad thing about all of this is... so many of my friends who are married to Bahrainis get the same stuff.... if not more. It's sad.

But... hey... I feel better for writing it here..... if I could get my dang blogger to go back into English, I'd start a new blog.... so I'm working on this.

Sunday, November 01, 2009

A New Day

Naief started school today. He didn't cry, hang on to my leg, scream... or anything, but momma cried inside myself all the way to the car.... and found myself breaking down a few times while driving home. It's so rough letting go and seeing them at this stage.... even though it's only 3 days a week, still.... it's hard.

I have been in a real, true funk lately. I need to do something with myself... big time. Have looked and am looking for possible jobs, but need something part-time while Naief is in school. Don't truly think this is what's causing my funk, just adding to it a bit.

Hashim's been working a lot in the studio.... so much on his plate that it gives little time to much else. I know to be successful, to build a business and a career for oneself, that this is needed, but I feel lonely a lot. Even going out, doing things, swimming, playing and hanging out w/ friends.... still... the loneliness begs me to obey. And me... being me.... I do.

Have so much to do today... a 4 o'clock appt w/ my therapist, whom I haven't seen in a long time..... I need to find out what's going on with my inner being... that and so much that you might have to whisper the secrets to everyone around you if I told it out loud! ;) I love going for I always feel so much better afterwards... so I'm hoping, really hoping that this time is the same.

There's so much going on w/ me.... so many times I've wanted to write and tell you all about things, but, to be truthful, I don't trust anyone in this country to not tell someone I know who will then tell my in-laws who will then try to make trouble for me and for anything I might say that will bring shame or pissed off attitudes in my and my family's direction. This is hard to explain and probably the reason I've seriously been thinking of starting a new "secret" blog w/ my address being from the States, to afford me some type of ghost writer status.... so cliche, yes.... but, it's maddening, honestly. I've NEVER been one for being watched, can't stand and I mean seriously loathe liars, trouble makers, these evil eye doers.... and since coming back from the States, I've lost all ability to be able to stand to be around such ppl.... which can only lead one to imagine all of whom I'm speaking about at the moment.

Even friends that I had met, done play things w/ for the kids.... but really didn't like the mother or the child for that matter... I've cut the contact. Use to I'd continue w/ the stupid facade... but why create such headache ????? Plus, one little thing that rattles me to the core is any child being mean to my little man.... if I see that, I swear... my claws want to snatch a piece outta somebody.... so it's better to let go.

Again, I have to say, there's so much I need/want/desire to write about, since I feel that I fill this blog w/ mostly nonsense nowadays.... I long to write.... to get it out..... lie in bed at night thinking about it even.... but then, get up, start a new day, and don't.

I will say this... about a week ago, I saw this guy's name on a friend's FB page (he had left a comment) and this was a guy who had caused me heartache, embarrassment, humiliation... you name it, he did it, while I was in junior high. So... I left a comment under his and asked if this was the same person, and, sure enough, it was. He didn't know who I was w/ my last name being my husband's, so I told him, and then proceeded to tell him how much it had hurt me back in school and asked if he was still a trouble maker in his life today (actually, I asked if he was still a trouble maker first, which he denied)...... and what did he do about it all? Denied it. Told me that I must have been talking about the wrong person..... imagine. You carry these things with you, when they're traumatic enough, all your life (or I have at varying degrees at various stages) and when you finally have the chance/courage to say, "hey.... why did you do so and so".... and they say they didn't... well, as my friend Val says, he knows he did it and he knows he was the only DV in that school.

Makes me feel like Josie Gellar in that movie Never Been Kissed when all the really popular kids did such mean things to the others, including her..... and, for once, I stood up and said something.... but God only knows if it made any difference. Don't know many leopards that change their spots.

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Happy Halloween


Early Learners Nursery party night before last..... this is where Naief will start nursery tomorrow. Had a good time, but had to leave early to make our way to another party at the Bahrain School, which was also a lot of fun... but Naief was exhausted. Two parties in one day is a bit much.... but he did enjoy dressing up and getting treats and playing games.

Happy Halloween !!

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

i love you so much

This is what Naief tells me.... and they're the sweetest words to my ear. I'll tell ya... I am so crazy in love with this little guy. The way he smiles, the stories he tells me, how he whispers stuff in my ear, his sweet imagination starting to take off, how he remembers everything and notices even more.... gosh... he's just the sweetest thing.

I was starting to think that he was turning into a mini monster while in the States, but I'm happy to report that it was obvious boredom. He's had no tantrums since our return, is finally {crossing my fingers} back on his sleep schedule... and I must say... he's sleeping in his own bed now - in his own room - and no longer takes the bottle! We stopped the bottle cold turkey and I think it's finished for good. He slept in his room all night last night - didn't wake up - and was a happy little camper this morning. Hasn't asked for his bottle, since I told him that the dr. said he was a big boy now and didn't need the bottle.... he likes that he's a big boy now.

Had to take him to the dr. last night since he had another bout of blood in his stool... been happening for two months now, but since we were in the States w/ food changes, weather changes, emotional changes, I chalked it up to his not being able to go to the bathroom properly. The dr. decided to take his blood just to make sure there's no infection or other problem and, I'll tell ya, it's so hard having your little one experience such pain. Makes me really think about sick children and all that they go thru...

anyway... i love my little man.... and only wanted to share how much :)

Monday, September 28, 2009

tired and coping

Been back a week tomorrow... and getting back on the time has been a challenge, especially for Naief. He doesn't want to go to bed, waking up every hour on the hour until around 2 a.m. (4 a.m. the first night) and then doesn't want to get up in the mornings. He's so much like Hashim... he's not a morning person.

If I make Naief get up (around 10ish), he's usually grouchy, has fits over getting dressed... doesn't want to cooperate... it takes every ounce of patience on my part, that's for sure. Today we stayed in and he was a tad better, but since he's refusing to go to sleep tonight and we have plans tomorrow... I can only imagine what the morning will bring. :)

Schools have been closed here until November 1st because of swine flu fears. I've been hearing some really negative stuff about the vaccine and I find myself a bit worried tonight over the possibility of children being made to take it. A friend of mine said that it's making ppl throw up terribly and another woman told me that it's being linked to autism and brain problems... not sure how they could know something like this so quickly, but I do find myself questioning it. I'm not keen on giving children lots of injections they don't need and I'm not that scared of swine flu and don't feel that it's something that Naief would need to get... and I just hope that we, as parents, are allowed to make that call.

Many ppl are up in arms about the school situation. Schools have taken money which, in some cases, is quite a lot and there's nothing to show for it. The schools are using the money to pay the teachers who are having to show up to work each day... but the students and parents are suffering at home. One friend of my husband's has paid almost 2,000 dinars for his child's first term and will not see a dime of that nor will it be applied to the next term... I can't imagine.

I must say that I'm really glad to be home. I enjoyed visiting with my family, got into a bit of a tiff w/ my younger sister while we were both at my older sister's house, but all in all, it was a nice time. Naief was bored out of his mind (altho my mom believes that children this age don't get bored - and I STRONGLY disagree) and since there weren't a lot of places to go (that I could find on my own while my sister was at work) and no children to play with, for the most part, we wound up watching a lot of Mickey Mouse, Sesame Street, and various other cartoons while there. I felt guilty for letting him sit in front of the tube, but I found it a real challenge to keep his mind busy and interested in much else. We'd color, paint and while my niece was there, they played Hide & Go Seek, dressed up like a prince and princess - after making their costumes from crate paper, towels and kitchen utensils - play outside and such, but when no one was there and we weren't going here or there, he got bored.

So... I'm glad to be home. I missed my husband, our house, the cats, and just being home. Weird that I call it home, but it feels like that now... and the weird thing is... I didn't get depressed upon my return, which is soooo strange, since I usually do for a good month or so. And it's a good feeling not to feel that depression....

anyway... just wanted to make a quick post... have a good one you guys...

Thursday, September 10, 2009

weddings and fairs





some pics from my older sister's wedding in Chicago, at her husband, Marvin's, club (the whole gang), Naief and Katelyn riding the train at the Delta Fair today, and Naief as a ring bearer at my sister's wedding, and, last, but not least, me and Janeen at my sister's wedding...

Haven't been writing a lot.... but will be leaving to go back to Bahrain in less than two wks time... looking forward to going home, but will miss my family.

Monday, August 24, 2009

planes, trains and automobiles

Naief loves planes and trains. My sister lives in the flight path of the Memphis Airport, so we get to see and hear planes every day, to the sheer delight of my dear son. I don't think he'll ever get bored of pointing them out and screaming as loud as possible, "momma, plane! plane! plane!" :)

But... his most excitement came this past weekend while we were all out in another area of Memphis and as we were putting some bags in the car, I turned around, after hearing a train whistle, and realized we were right next to the train tracks... and a train was coming.

Now, Naief loves Thomas and Friends. Knows all of them by name and gets completely crazy with excitement anytime he sees a train in it's stand still state - since he's never seen a real moving train - except on TV, which really doesn't count... I don't think. So... just think how thrilled momma was when she realized a train was coming, and it was a big one. :))))

I immediately grabbed Naief up and told him a train was coming and right then it came thundering down the track, blowing it's whistle several times as it passed us. It couldn't have been better if I had planned it.

His eyes got as wide as saucers and for a minute I thought he might cry from fear.... but he didn't. He was so quiet and still and then got so excited.... screaming at his Auntie when she came to show her the train. The really great thing was that it was a really long train, so he was able to truly experience a big, loud train. It had a big engine as a caboose and everything.... just great stuff.

So... all the way home, all he talked about was seeing that train and wanting to ride one. Even talked out in his sleep this morning about wanting to ride a train. He thinks we can just run over there and hop aboard.... only if it were that simple, eh?

I looked up Amtrak the other day, thinking that we might ride it up to Chicago for my sister's wedding... but don't think it's going to work w/ our schedule, but I'm gonna call this week just to make sure. He'd love that... :)

happy day all.... the clouds are beautiful here and the weather is truly wonderful.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

storm clouds

Storm clouds are moving in to Memphis... I love the clouds here. Supposed to rain for the next few days.... am ready for things to cool down a bit.

update: the ghost has been leaving us alone. I did what a paranormal specialist friend told me to do and it worked. She said to confront the spirit/energy since they may not know we're here or that they're being loud, so I did just that and for the last 4 or more days there have been no sounds. :)

Taking Naief to the Memphis Children's Museum tomorrow... just the two of us. I think he'll like it. Altho, just looked on their website and they're doing all kinds of fun stuff on Sat., so I'll take him on Saturday instead.

My younger sister comes next week. We're planning to go to the zoo again and after my older sister gets married, we're gonna take a trip to Madison, my birth place and hometown.

anyway... hope you all are doing great. Take care.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

seriously spooked

Hey all... we're here at my sister's in Memphis having our holiday. The weather is fantastic... mostly hot and a bit humid (nothing like Bahrain), and it's rained with thunderstorms many times already... with us having to get in the bathtub once from a tornado warning! :) That scared the daylights outta me, but all was ok. And you know how I love heavy rain, so I'm loving it. :)

Real quick though... before the little one wakes up... last night, for the 3rd night in a row, I heard something in the bedroom where Naief and I are sleeping. It first started about 3 nights ago w/ sounds like a mouse or squirrel in the wall - or what I told myself it had to be - then the night after that, it sounded like something was under the bed and I found myself asking myself if Queenie (a little chihuahua), my niece's dog, was under the bed. That sound went on for a bit and then stopped... but it didn't scare me - I only dismissed it.

But.. last night there were sounds in the room that seriously spooked me. I was on the computer last night until about midnight at which time I heard Chelsea - my sister's dog - growling outside our room. It was a very deep, low growl that continued for several seconds. I got scared, got up and went into the kitchen to check and make sure all the doors were locked. The door to the garage was unlocked, I locked it, checked the front door and went back to bed. She didn't growl again.

After this, I said goodnight to hubby, turned off the light and tried to go to sleep. It was at this time that I heard the first of the sounds.

Sounded as if someone was shuffling papers at the dresser. As if looking for something really. I immediately got scared but talked myself into calmness.... then a bit later I heard another noise right next to me. It was as if someone was closing the drawer to the nightstand next to me. I turned over and looked in that direction.... really terrified that I'd see something, but didn't. I closed my eyes and then reopened them slightly thinking or still wondering if I'd see something. The sound stopped, but again started. This time at the nightstand on the other side of the bed. Same sound.. like someone was closing the drawer or messing with it.

I get chills just thinking about it.

While it was happening or after, I couldn't help wonder why they weren't tripping over our luggage and whatnot in the room... I had the computer on the floor next to the nightstand that was next to me and cables on the floor but nothing moved. We have two suitcases in the room, a box w/ stuff on it - the room is pretty stuffed with stuff... but nothing was touched.

I don't know what it is, but when I got up this morning and told my mom, she told me that she had the same experience in her room lastnight! She had turned off the light, rolled onto her stomach and that's when she heard something being sat down on her dresser. She said it sounded like whomever sat it down had lost their grip and it made a heavy thud when it hit the dresser!!!!! She said it scared her to death. She turned on the light several minutes later, but again, nothing.

I found myself hardly sleeping lastnight... have no idea what time I finally drifted to sleep, but I know this.. I'm afraid to sleep in this room again. I had to talk through it ... telling myself that they wouldn't hurt me and they're here for whatever reason... but still, I'm afraid.

We're gonna tell my sister when she comes home for lunch. I wonder what she'll say. She's never mentioned hearing anything and my niece has never mentioned hearing anything, and when talking to my mom more this morning, she told me that she's had a similar experience in the room where we're sleeping - where she used to sleep. One night she felt the mattress move. It was as if someone was under the mattress and moving it. She said it only happened once.... goodness.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

hello travel

Tomorrow is the big day. Leave at 11 pm, flying into Amsterdam with a 9 hr layover there and then on to Memphis - a 10 hr flight. I hate flying. Scares me, and even tho people say that it's much safer than driving, it still doesn't change the fear inside of me. Also doesn't help much that every day, here lately, when I turn on the TV, I see where another flight has gone down. But... trying not to think about it and trying to stay positive... inshallah it makes a difference. :)

Not much going on w/ me lately, altho I was having dinner w/ a friend tonight and she said that I should blog about my current addiction... which is....


Farm Town on FB.

I am sooo addicted to this game. Love, love, love creating my own little farm/ranch with animals, plowing my land, growing seeds, harvesting the crops, hiring ppl to work on my farm, working on other ppl's farms, buying land.... I just love every aspect of the game. I love creating my own little world, I suppose. Can't quite figure out what it is that pulls me in so much, other than that. I love planting trees, growing flowers, designing the layout of the farm... and really, I truly enjoy growing the crops. I also enjoy going to other ppl's farms and working... sometimes working along w/ other ppl or just by myself. I've noticed that when I'm working w/ someone else, it adds more excitement in that you're working against someone to get the most money for the harvest... which adds to my level of enthusiasm.

Hashim got bored w/ it rather quickly... preferring Sims and such, but not me.

So.. if any of you are playing, let's be neighbors! :) I'm on level 24 right now and can't wait until I reach level 25 coz I get to buy more land.

Hello, my name is Tania and I'm a Farm Town addict! :)


But anyhoo... it's almost time to fly away from Bahrain, leave my hubby behind and enjoy being back in my homeland.

Everyone cross your fingers and send positive energy my way in hopes that we have no issues/problems when going thru immigration here... will be checking in w/ his American passport, but going thru immigration w/ his Bahraini... and I'm just hoping beyond all hope that there are no issues w/ these ppl. Every year that we've traveled, we had some issue... but hopefully none this time around.

happy day everyone!

Tuesday, July 07, 2009

The Farewell

Watching the MJ farewell right now... and no matter what he did or didn't do in his life... I am filled with sadness when listening to the songs, seeing the pictures and hearing ppl talk about him. Seeing his casket sit there... it's a sad thing.

I feel sorry that so many negative things were in his life... the drug addiction, most of all. It destroyed him.

I don't know what's waiting on the other side... and, at times, I wonder if there's anything... but I hope that he's at peace. I'm happy that his demons have been taken from him....

One thing... and you know there has to be at least one thing w/ me... I was a bit turned off in that no one is weeping. His children... the youngest child has a huge wad of gum in his mouth, chomping on it as fast and hard as he can, and when they panned to them, sitting next to their grandmother, not one of them seemed upset with the littleist squirming around, but I suppose it's to be expected. The daughter had her head over on her grandmothers shoulder... seeming very shy. It's all, I'm sure, overwhelming for them. Al Sharpton is on right now preaching .. they all just stood to give him a standing ovation... which is a bit much at a funeral, I think... but...

Oh yeah... the youngest son always had white blond hair.. and now it's jet black. I knew it was dyed.

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

phew... where to start?

Wow... was shocked to learn of Michael Jackson's death. Knew he was a drug addict long ago, but you never want to imagine it being as bad as it was. Looks like they've come across bags and bags of drugs inside his home, so it's only a matter of days before the world finds out what was hidden in his closet.

Sad that he'd die like Elvis and was married to his daughter.

I felt unmoved by the news at first. Took several days for it to sink in and after watching many a show and reading articles on the net, I feel very saddened, but feel, like many, that he's free of his demons now.

I've loved Michael since I was a little girl (Elvis was and is my all time favorite). Had all his albums, still do, matter of fact, and of the Jackson 5. Saw Michael in concert many years ago and it was the best concert I've ever been to. Had good seats (altho they were at the side of the stage), was seated close enough to get a good view. Over the years though... as he started to look more like an Asian transgendered woman... and after the pay off to the sex abuse victim, the 2nd case w/ such damning evidence, his totally bizarre behavior... I lost that great like of him.

Everyone wants to talk about what a great dad he was... and I have this question to ask.... if he was such a great dad, why was he taking all these drugs? Who in the hell could function on that stuff in your body, all day, every day?? Is it possible? Yeah, I know ppl do it all the time, but doesn't there come a time when it's not possible? I'd think he'd have to be pumped up w/ something all hours of the day - like Elvis was in the last years of his life. You don't function like this. So how can you function as a parent?

Me and some mothers were talking about this the other day and the ones from the UK said that demerol is given to you when you have a baby there... and it makes you totally loopy/out of touch and unable to do anything.

I feel sorry for his kids... partially growing up w/ that mess of a father (having marked their lives in a huge way - forever), and now they'll grow up w/ his family... his father and mother. His mother must have done something right... coz a brother or two have some sense about them.

_______________________________________________________________

Saw an ad at the grocery the other day for free dogs, so I called the woman. She was in Dubai when I called, said she'd be back on Wed. and would call me. Didn't hear from her until the weekend, talked and decided to go see the dogs.

Went there and it was somewhat strange. She had so many freakin' dogs... was living in this HUGE house, decorated **nicccccceeeely**, said she had a daughter, 4 yrs old, w/ the nanny and husband in Egypt... saying that she and her mother were moving there at the end of July. The house wasn't in any shape for a one month move out date. Nice plants in expensive pots all over the outside and inside of the house, huge glass vases in the house w/ flowers and such, everything in tact. Expensive stuff everywhere... made me start thinking about living w/ such and so many animals, having a 4 yr old w/ this sort of environment... which led me to think that she's not telling the truth about everything. She was pushing hard for us to take a dog... telling us when we first got there that they were all up to take, and then when we'd ask about one, she'd tell us all the negatives about that dog and push us to take this other one. **should state that i had asked her on the phone, prior to going, if the dogs were used to children and cats** i think this is why she said she had a child. i thought it was odd that a child would be away from her mother w/ a maid in another country.. but maybe i'm the weird one. not only that, but her mother, a russian that (they said) couldn't speak english, but seemed to comment on a lot of what i said (in russian, of course) was there w/ her.. don't you think that'd be a better environment for a young girl??? especially if they're moving in just one month?

anyway... there's a lot of other things... but this post is getting long, i'll end it here... but i will add, hashim doesn't want to take a dog from them. he got a bad feeling about it.. felt like she was lying, doesn't trust it and whatnot. i feel sorry for the dogs, want to take one of them... but i also got a bit of a bad feeling a few times... just think things don't add up.. and i've asked her for records of shots, if they've been tested for tick fever and does the one, that she was pushing, have a touch of mange. she's yet to reply...

Saturday, June 20, 2009

getting through it

The last few days have been pretty emotional, to say the least. Putting Henry to sleep was the best thing to do... for he could hardly walk, wasn't coming upstairs the last day 1/2, wasn't eating and we couldn't watch him in pain or suffering.... but doing it is so very hard. I miss him terribly. I think about him all the time... every time I turn around, I am reminded of him. I see him from the corner of my eye or see one of the cats and think it's him... so I feel sadness many, many times throughout the days.

Not only that, but Naief asks about him probably 10 times a day. Day before yesterday, he cried once and put his head on my shoulder at another point... he's too young to understand, but he knows something isn't right. I tell him that Henry has gone to heaven, then he'll ask if he's sick and show me how he was throwing up. I tell him yes, Henry was sick, but he's better now... and in heaven.

We're thinking of getting another dog or two... but after we come back from the States. Went to the BSPCA yesterday and gave them all the food, flea/tick medicine, treats and such, and while there I told them that it would have been nice if someone had said something/anything to us when we adopted him. We could have possibly saved his life if we had known earlier... not sure, because the parasites could have already been wrecking havoc inside his body... I don't know... but, at least we could have tried some 7 months ago, instead of just two months ago.

While there, a woman asked me what dog we adopted. I told her Henry. She remembered him and started talking about what a good dog he was... I started crying... and left.

Really, I can't think about it right now. I'm so sad still..... he was such a good dog. So kind. Really was so different when we first got him, versus these past couple of months. He loved to play w/ us outside. Running when we'd try to get his tail and he loved baths. He'd let us soap him up and wash him off and then off he'd go.. running up onto the porch to rub his body up and down the wall until he felt he was dried off enough... or something... not really sure why he did that.. but it was the cutest thing to watch.

He loved his walks. Loved going to Saar to the date farm. He'd gallop to us once we had gotten far enough in front of him... with his tongue hanging and his mouth open as wide as it would go. He was so happy. Even here around the house.. when we'd walk him.. he really enjoyed it. Loved eating anything and everything he could find and leaving his mark everywhere.

He loved to bump me with his cold nose to get attention and when he knew we were taking him for a walk... he'd get so excited and happy. His tail would wag so fast and he'd jump up on us and get sooo excited. I loved that about him.

I miss him so much...

With respect to all of this... we got into a huge argument with the in-laws yesterday. While over for lunch, nephew asked me over and over and over and over if the dog was dead and when I couldn't ignore him any more, I got mad and told him to not ask me one more time if the dog was dead. Well.... SIL threw a fit. Saying that he's only a baby and I shouldn't have said anything to him, but ignored him. I disagree. I think a child needs to learn right from wrong. I didn't yell at him, I simply was firm and told him to stop. But... it didn't matter. She threw a complete fit over it after lunch and everyone got into a big argument... except me who sat by the side and listened. She said not a word to me in English but instead attacked me, through hubby, in Arabic. Letting everyone know how wrong I was and how I didn't have the right to say anything to her son. I disagree and no matter what, I will not change my mind nor apologize.

Needless to say, this was the straw that broke the camels back. I'm finished with all of this for a long time. I've decided not to do the school, since it will be working w/ her, which I have been against all along. I refuse to work anywhere near her and she wont be over me. I can not stand her and haven't since the get go. So... all the preparation and stress has been for nothing. I'm a bit sad over this now... but figure it's for the best. Can't imagine having this stress on a daily/weekly basis and then having to pretend all nicey nice... I'm just tired of all the games and crap.

So...

Thanks everyone for all your kind words and shows of love. It truly means the world to me. Chief Rock Chef... you are such a kind person and a real animal lover. It's wonderful to see and I appreciate all your words of encouragement and kindness... it truly means a lot to me. You and your wife and truly wonderful people. I know your kids will be some of the best. Christopher... thank you for your kindness and for the card... I wish I was there with you... that'd be oh so wonderful... le sigh... at least I can dream. You're a sweety and your friendship means a lot to me. And for my friend, Tara, who doesn't blog and doesn't read my blog... she gave me flowers and it really meant a lot. She's so kind and gentle, and was there as soon as she heard my cries on the other end of the phone. And thanks to Roxy for her text message and words of love. You're so sweet and such a loving soul. Thanks all of you. It touches me to have such friendships especially when I'm so far away from home and not around ppl who love animals so much... I feel blessed by having all of you in my life.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

goodbye

henry is being put to sleep today... hashim took him just a bit ago. my heart is breaking.

i can't think ... i'm filled with tremendous sadness.

he was the best dog.

goodbye henry...

Sunday, June 14, 2009

well....



Henry isn't getting better. He ate the new mix of food for the first 3 or 4 days, but hasn't touched most of it for 3 days now. He digs out the liver (which is only 1 ounce), eats that and leaves the rest. The rest being rice cooked in chicken stock, low fat cottage cheese, two eggs and 3 tlbs of bacon drippings. Also giving him Omega 3's and vitamins A & E. He seemed to really like it at first and I must say I had high hopes... because I want him to live so dang bad...

It all just breaks my heart.

(for anyone who is asking what happened, when i took him to the vet, found out that the tick parasites got into the organs and he's having kidney failure. his numbers should be between 7-25 and his were 172. the vet wanted to put him to sleep that day, but i asked to take him home. once home, i got online and started doing research about how we might possibly bring down his numbers.. which we've been trying to do. it's been a little over a week now...)

Today he's been having dry heaves... starting early this morning and then again around 11:30 a.m. He's been under our bed all day, only getting up at around 11:30 to go wee, then back under the bed. He's not getting up at night... hasn't for a good week. This really worries me... for I realize that it's his kidneys, and it's not getting better.

I can't think about it, but have to.

Hashim doesn't want to put him to sleep... hoping beyond all hope that he'd get better. I told him today that he seems to be getting worse.

He looks like he doesn't feel good.... his ears are always down, he hardly wags his tail, doesn't bark any more... is skin and bones...

I feel angry at myself for not acting sooner... thinking it could have helped. I knew something was wrong. Even talked to a friend about it - they had to have their first dog put down because of tick fever. She told me that it sounded like tick fever... but I waited. Thinking that he was depressed and that lots of walks would make him happier.. and it did... but what I didn't know is that he was sick.

I don't know what to do. Wait it out... for I know he's not getting better.. and is he in pain? The thought of putting him down (which the vet wanted to do when I took him in the last time) is something I'm not sure I can do. I put down my first cat, Baby, many years ago and I still cry sometimes... he got so bad... and I don't want to see Henry like this... in so much pain, not knowing where he is, not seeming to know me, Hashim or Naief...

A few days back I left a string/thought on my facebook about being under a lot of stress... had been stuck in traffic for what seemed like hours, searching for the food to feed Henry, grumpy hubby, tantrum throwing child... and someone made this comment to me,

"why tania try to be more optimistic things always get better at the end look at the bright side of everything you will see a wonderful life then"

and... you know, it just irritates the hell outta me, to be truthful. I was semi-polite in my response.. but really wanted to jump all over her... for as much as we could hope, pray, imagine... life just isn't that easy... all the time. But hey, I'm not the most optimistic person... but still.

Saturday, June 06, 2009

Mr. Henry

Looks like we'll be making another vet visit tomorrow. Henry is still sick, it seems. For the last 4 days, he doesn't want to be walked and refuses to go anywhere... staying, mostly, under the bed all day. Tonight he's next to me on the sofa, but asleep. He's not eating really.. had a little of the cat's food tonight, which isn't great, but it's better than nothing.

Yesterday he threw up everything, including his water. Day before was another throw up day... but got meds from the vet today that will reduce the acidity in his tummy and, hopefully, help him keep food down.

They're concerned that his kidneys may be starting to fail... especially w/ him throwing up, and seeing that he's sleeping all the time and his spirit is almost gone, they want to do a blood work-up just to make sure.

Poor guy... for a bit there I thought he was getting better and maybe he will... just think it's gonna be a long road. My hope is that he doesn't have to take any more of the tick fever med because I wont be here. Worried enough about him being here during the day by himself... but that's a good month 1/2 or more... so maybe he'll be on the road to recovery by then.

Monday, June 01, 2009

some good news

I'm really excited... Naief and I will be heading to Memphis this summer! Been trying to work this out for a while now.. hoping fares would be low (since summer is high season for travel in these parts), so I was really beyond belief when we found a low fare a few days ago. :)

Naief has never met my older sis, her fiance, my niece and nephew (and his family), my oldest brother, and he'll get to spend a good two months with my mom. Plus, there's a big wedding planned - my older sis is getting married. :) So that'll be exciting, I'm sure.

I get to leave Bahrain during the hottest part of the year as well, I'm just tickled pink about it. The weather has been hitting 118F the last several days, and heard today that some ppl are saying it could get to 60C (have no idea what that is in F), but sounds way tooooo hot for my blood... so I'm really thankful.

Have been prepping Naief and he knows we're going on a plane and that we'll be meeting all these ppl... he's even practicing the names... :)

On a different note, looks like I could/will be going to work this Sept. My MIL is proposing that I open a play/learning center for 2-3 yr olds and I've agreed to it.. the only thing is... it's all very short notice, nothing is prepared (including the place) and I'm leaving for the summer.. so who will do it??? Get it ready and such? It's already June 1st, so I'm panicking a bit... it all has to be set up (painting, furniture), all material bought, and ready to go before I leave, and MIL is leaving around the 19th of June for holiday and she wants it finished before then. fun fun fun

This is a huge undertaking and assistants have to be hired.. and that's another issue. Finding ppl who will work for the money, that know how to speak English and who will change diapers (that's a big one there).. since most 2 yr olds aren't potty trained. It would be nice to have someone just for that.

and...

I've never done this before. That's the biggest issue for me and, really, it makes me nauseous to think about it all. I taught when I first came to Bahrain and was hugely popular w/ the little ones... and I'm good with kids... so I feel ok about that, but the thoughts of organizing it all, managing it, not losing control of the children, and being able to be creative and imaginative enough for approx 18 kids, every day... I'm worried about. I guess on a positive note, it could help to bring back my creative flow.. which would be nice. I have tons of research to do... printing, tons of administrative work... and on top of it all,

I'm going on holiday and don't want this overshadowing my time. I want quality time with my family with no outside stress weighing me down.... aaaahhhhhh...

fun, fun, fun :)

Friday, May 22, 2009

mad world

gorgeous voice.... he has a quality about him... reminds me of Elvis Presley - the eyes, dark hair, beautiful smile, his style, not to mention his delectable voice.... he's just dreamy....

enjoy....

Thursday, May 21, 2009

the lizard caper

Yesterday we went over to the in-laws to say hello and after about 15 mins, my husband's oldest sister screamed for the housemaid to come upstairs and kill the lizard inside her room....

so... off goes little 'ole me with A to save the lizard.

Again... every creature, no matter how big or small, is killed at my in-laws and I see no real reason for it, other than an inability on anyone's part to see that it could be done differently.

When I got to the bedroom, she was on the bed screaming to get it. She told A to go get the Raid to kill it, but I refused to allow it... stating that it would run outside if we scared it and there was no reason to kill it. I also tried to talk about why he might be in the room... since it's piled high w/ plastic and department store bags (with it having been 10x worse earlier in the day, I found out - they moved 50% of the bags that morning into the other outside room), and paper stacks everywhere... making it a safe haven for any creature including ants, spiders, roaches and such... no wonder the lizard is there... he has a feast every night, obviously.

He was a big lizard. White from the wall color... so he'd probably been in there for a while. She exclaimed that she couldn't sleep knowing he was there, hadn't slept in there the previous night, and since she prayed the Quran, he couldn't be there. I laughed and told her that the lizard wouldn't bite her. They don't bite. They might scream a little when you catch them, but that's it. I find them to be totally harmless, really.

No matter how many times I told her that he was having a feast every night in her room and that he wouldn't hurt her, she demanded that he be killed, seeing that we were having a really hard time convincing this little guy to leave the room. He didn't waste any time before running behind her tall cabinets and when we thought there was no way to get him out other than to spray the Raid, like she was insisting, A went and got a long stick w/ a wire hanger tied around the end and we stuck it behind the cabinet to coax him out... and it worked! The little booger!

He finally ran up the wall, over to where the window is and disappeared for a bit. We couldn't decide if he had gotten back to the cabinets or if he was up on top of the curtains... refusing to move. 'A' took her stick and banged a little around the curtain and we finally saw him. We decided to corner him, basically. When he got scared and ran down below the top of the curtain, we were able to trap him between my stick and A's stick... and when he realized he couldn't get past us, he ran down to the window and jumped out!!!! :)

Scared my SIL to death. She was outside waiting to make sure he was out.. and screamed when he jumped. I laughed and me and A high fived each other!

I think we'll start a business ridding houses of lizards! ;)

When my FIL came in to have dinner, later, my SIL told him what we had done and he got upset... saying they were the enemy and why hadn't we killed it. I told him that I don't believe in it and there was no reason to kill the lizard. He said nothing.. but mumbled to my MIL in Arabic. I honestly think my SIL was proud of us... and I know I was really proud of us.... made me feel happy that the little thing wasn't killed.

I did find out from A that they cut down the hive.... she had been coming over to take the fruit and was stung or got afraid of them (not sure)... so they cut it down! I told her that doing that killed the bees... but she doesn't understand.. so I dropped it.

I told my mom about the bee hive and she went off on me... telling me that it's better they cut it down since I wouldn't want Naief getting stung by the bees.... what to say.... no one feels the same as me, except Naief. :)

Monday, May 18, 2009

the bee hive

Took some trash out yesterday, late morning, and on the way back to the house, Naief and I made our way over to the tree to have a look at the bee hive.

And... what do you know....

someone cut it down.

I'm soooo mad about it. I knew it would happen. People can not leave anything alone. It just doesn't do for ppl not to kill every freakin' thing they can get their hands on. I've never seen anything like it.

I have no idea who did it. Wouldn't surprise me if my FIL didn't send the yard guys over to destroy it... or maybe the boys from this boys' school did it, since Hashim saw them getting the fruit from the tree last week and made a comment about it. I know that it looks like it was chopped off, so I'm willing to bet that dear ole FIL had it done.

There's a tiny little piece still left and the bees are clinging to it... sad really.

This bee hive isn't a first for the start of the summer months... not a month ago, the crows were nesting in the palm tree outside his house and one Friday at lunch he told me how one of the baby birds fell from the tree and they had the yard guy take it out to the street so that the birds would follow. (Now I know why I heard all the cries from the birds that day... nice to put it out on the street.. that way it's either ran over by a car or the cats get it) Then... the next day or so after that, he said that the other baby fell from the nest. Funny... but when they were nesting in the tree outside our house (before they were cut down by the Ministry) there were never accidents... no babies ever fell from the nest.

The mother and father take excellent care of their young... they're such good and dutiful parents. Very loving, actually. So good at teaching their young to fly... showing them over and over until they have the courage to do it. It's wonderful to watch.

So I figure he's lying. The entire family seem to be in on it.... MIL, SIL... the housemaids. They just couldn't stand for these birds to be near their house. Seeing it as a bad omen, I suppose. Plus, MIL can't stand their cries... so only more reason to do away with them. And once the babies are gone, the birds are gone. And... it's true. The crows are gone now. And you know... it's not like they live around here. They come here to build their nests, have their young and then they go away. Why is that such a bad thing?

I just don't get why *some* can't let anything live in this country. Ppl do everything in their power to kill everything. Any insect is going to die... no matter. Lizards can count their days if they're living at my in-laws... they'll die as soon as someone sees them. Ants... are sprayed and sprayed until they're all dead. Caterpillars are killed... not even given a chance to turn into beautiful butterflies... baby birds are taken from the nest and put in cages... only to die because they're too young and can't survive.... dogs are shot and killed or poisoned, cats are turned out on the street and starved (because all the new trash cans on the streets don't allow for food consumption - but that's another post)....

What is it???????????? Doesn't the Quran teach you to have respect for nature? (I believe it does.) Does it say to kill everything and not think twice about it? What has happened to kindness towards other living creatures??? Why can't ppl have kindness in their hearts towards animals?

This bee hive is just another example.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

reading




Finished reading The Secret Life of Bees.... just loved it. And before talking about it, thought I'd post a pic that I took last week of the bee hive outside our house. It's a good size and I see the honey bees all over the yard. They buzz around the flowers and seem to love the morning glory. I love bees. Have since childhood. Big fat bumble bees are my favorite, but since reading this book, I'm now truly intrigued with honey bees and everything that they do. This is a pic of the hive and pics of the flowers in our yard... wish I could get up real close and hear the buzzing sound. (pics were taken w/ my camera phone and aren't the best.)

I think the book is a must read. It's touching, heartwarming, funny, at times, and sad. Full of life lessons. I found myself thinking a lot about my childhood while reading it. A lot about things I've gone through, what my sister must have gone through and my mom. I thought about my older sisters life back then, my niece and nephew, my sister's ex, who passed many years ago, his family and the neighborhood where we used to play as kids.

I grew up in Madison, Indiana. A small, historic town in Southeastern Indiana. I loved Madison as a child, but as I got older and into junior high, I found my life full of drama... for many reasons.... but this one thing, in particular, is the reason behind my thoughts while reading.

My oldest sister married a black man back in the 70s, had two children - a boy and a girl - and I grew up believing there was nothing wrong with being black.... it wasn't until I was in junior high that I realized that not everyone had the same ideas and beliefs as me, and having a black family and friends just wasn't cool with a lot of ppl.

I spent a lot of time with my sister as a child, playing with my niece and nephew (we're not too far apart in age), and a significant amount of time at my ex-BILs mom's house... in the heart of downtown Madison. There was a playground next to her house and we'd spend hours there. If we weren't there, we were playing in the house where she had a piano that we loved to play. She had a good sized yard or so it seemed when I was small and we'd play tag and hide and go seek there... in the dark, of course. :) I loved that time in my life.

I can remember going to church with my niece and her grandmother (sister's ex-MIL)... all the ladies with their big hats... so much of what Lily (Secret Life of Bees) experienced while living with the beekeeping ladies (wont give anything away here). Lily happens to be a young white girl that has an abusive father, and her best friend is a black servant that has helped raise her.

The book journeys through racial tension, hate, abuse and the ideas, of some, that it was taboo to be around blacks and, even worse, love one and would get some black men killed - if they were to have a relationship w/ a white girl. This is when I started thinking about my older sister. I can only imagine the tremendous struggles she went through. Not only did she have a black husband, but she also had two mixed children. And like I said, it wasn't until I got into junior high that I experienced the suffering that comes along with being anything different from what white ppl want you to be... remembering the racial tension I went through, the name calling, abuse on buses, the fights....

All I can say is - color is only skin deep. I wonder how many, if any, of them realize that now?!

The book ended nicely, but I longed for a bit more. Am wanting to see the movie now. My sis told me that it's really good.

Will add that I'm now more than fascinated with everything that honey bees do... as a result of reading this book. If you read it... or have... hope you enjoy(ed) it.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

ladies night out

Going out w/ the ladies tonight to dinner theatre that includes dinner, wine and a show. I'm really looking forward to it and altho it's a British play and you know me and Brit humor (I don't get it!!), I've been told that I wont have any probs following along. Keeping my fingers crossed that this is actually the case.

Sounds funny... it's about a taxi driver who's married to two women. He keeps both in separate places so as not to attract any attention from the law and whatnot... but soon enough the police come calling and all hell breaks loose... not sure if the two wives know about each other or not. Sounds cute to me and I need a break... so I'm thrilled. Thrilled that I don't have to do dinner tonight - even though I cooked earlier for the two of them - I'm still looking forward to having dinner served to me, wine (maybe a few glasses), laughter and fun w/ my friends whom I haven't seen in a while... I think since Christmas, actually.

Took Naief out w/ us lastnight for the opening of the Elham Arts Festival and since we haven't done that for more than a yr 1/2, didn't really know what to expect. Well... that's not a good idea, I learned real fast. Past tired isn't the way to go w/ children, which I knew, but... sometimes you just have to venture down that path to get a real eye opening.... next time baby stays home... or we don't go. :)

Going to the big water park on Saturday for a friend's bday party. He's turning 7. Have no idea what to get a 7 yr old.. guess a movie or something. It'll be a first time for visiting this place and I'm really excited. Naief probably wont know what to make of it and I'm tickled w/ the thought of it and hope we all have a fun time.

Happy weekend everyone...

oh yeah... was reading on a friend's facebook page where Egypt has banned porn sites!!!!! Yeah, way to go EGYPT!!!!!! I'm absolutely thrilled. More countries should do this. Child pornography HAS TO STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And if the only way to do it is to ban porn sites.. then I'm all for it.

Monday, May 11, 2009

Why Parents Drink

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an
Envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to 'Dad..'

With the worst premonition he opened the envelope

with trembling hands he read the letter.



Dear Dad:

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.

I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice.

But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercings, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it's not only the passion....Dad, she's pregnant.

Stacy said that we will be very happy.

She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy.

In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it.

Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself.

Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can

get to know your grandchildren.

Love, Your Son, John

PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house.

I Just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than a Report card - That's in my center desk drawer.


I love you.
Call me when it's safe to come home.

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

I spoke to soon

Well... obviously, I was very optimistic in Henry's ability to take these pills. He's now decided that chicken isn't his thing and is refusing to eat it.... so once again, we're stuck in that that's his dinner tonight, he wont eat it and we have his pills to give. Last night he got hamburgers grilled out, which he loved and ate the pills, but today I tried giving leftovers, which he ate up, but then got sick and threw it all up, including the pills.

So... tonight we got a chicken, thinking that he'd like a change, but he refuses.

I didn't know that dogs were so picky. I thought they ate almost everything. It really is something trying to get this dog to eat. Very stressful, nerve racking... you name it, we're going through it.

A friend of mine told me that dogs can sense all this negativity and to make food time very positive and to keep positive about him eating and chances are he'll eat the food. Well, today I did just that and he's not eating. But.. I did get that negative thought in my head when we got home that he wouldn't eat....

Are dogs this intuitive?

I don't really know what to do. I called the vet today and told them. They suggested giving him fish, but since the fresh fish places are closed in the afternoons and I refuse to go and pay the ridiculous prices at the grocery or buy frozen fish for him... we decided on chicken. He loves fish, so he'll get it this weekend. I just can't see him eating enough to not get sick.

Tonight we have no option other than to stuff the pills down his throat and hope for the best. That is, if he'll come up from the studio... he's refusing to come upstairs... but alas... here he is.

Hello pills and hello "not throwing up"... cross your fingers ppl.

Ok... got the pills down w/out problems... now it's a waiting game.

Monday, May 04, 2009

update on Henry

Have been giving Henry his meds for about a week now and he's doing a LOT better. His gums have stopped bleeding, he's actually barked a few times and is wagging his tail again. :) He's also not sleeping the day away - or at least most of it - and is starting to return to his happy self. He's now eating again, but prefers baked chicken to anything else. I tried boiling chicken, per for the vet, but he only ate it once and then refused after. Wont eat anything else right now, except soft cat food (sneaking to eat all of Frankie's if you're not watching)... so I think he's on the road to recovery.

He's still super thin, but I think once he gets well he'll start to eat more and will put some weight back on. A dog loving friend of mine told me that dogs will often associate certain foods w/ their illness and he may never eat canned dog food again... so we shall see. He's a picky thing, that's for sure! But... that's ok.. I'm glad he's going to live.

He's a smart little thing... I'll tell ya. I have to stuff the pills inside pieces of chicken and hope that he wont detect ... but the little burger often does. Last night he didn't want to eat the pills at all, but I was finally able to get them down him. He hasn't been throwing them up, so I'm feeling really grateful.

Now... our cat, Frankie, on the other hand... I think he's on his last leg. He has a UTI and will have to take him to the vet in the next couple of days. He's been peeing all over the place, on Naief's things, in the kitchen, on newspaper... even in one of the cat bowls! He also had major diarrhea last night, so we were welcomed to three poo piles this morning.

He seems to sorta be losing his mind... I think. He seems to be walking around in a daze, can't seem to smell anything and is urinating and pooing on himself. He doesn't bother to clean himself any longer... it's difficult.

I've only put one cat to sleep and it was my first cat, Baby, and don't really think I can do it again, unless he's suffering terribly.

Anyway... life has been keeping me busy, to say the least.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

hello Tick Fever

Took our dog, Henry, to the vet today, to get checked out because he's been dropping weight, has become somewhat lethargic and is refusing to eat most of what we give him.

A friend of mine, some two months ago, told me that it could very well be tick fever. Her family adopted a dog from the BSPCA (where we got Henry) and he came down w/ the same symptoms... but it was too late in their case. They lost him. If not caught in time, dogs can die from it. The parasites attack the bone marrow and internal organs, and once this happens it's pretty much too late.

So... I've been wondering, since talking to her, if this is what Henry is suffering from... but another friend asked if he had bleeding gums - he doesn't - another sign of tick fever, so I wasn't sure. Needless to say, his symptoms have continued to get worse, which happens - they come and go - and we decided to take him in.

Dr. Brown was the vet on duty today. A first for seeing him... and I liked him. Very nice and gentle w/ the animals. They're all kind there, actually. I like them. The first dr. that we took our cats to, in the beginning, and have been using for spaying/neutering and such - come to find out - sees ppl who fight their dogs and I can't stomach the thought of it... the rage I feel.... He's a nice man, ok vet, but I can't allow myself to support/pay someone who involves himself in such practices w/out trying or saying something.

Poor Henry.... he was nervous, but brave. They had to draw his blood to which he made not a sound. He didn't move and let the dr. press around on him. After waiting for about 15 mins, the dr. called us back in and gave us the news.....

Henry has tick fever.

My heart sank for fear that I had waited too long before bringing him in... but the dr. is optimistic. For anyone who doesn't know, it can't be transferred from animal to animal, we can't get it, and once they're cured of it, the parasites don't come back.... now... it's a waiting game to see if the medicine works. He's on the pills for a month... two every day, at the same time. He took them today w/out any trouble... I feel as though he knows that we're trying to make him feel better. The dr. said it should only take 2-3 days before we can tell a difference. He'll start eating again and will get his spunk back..... so hopefully it'll do just that.

Poor thing. Here he's been living in a shelter for more than a year and now has to deal with this. He's such a good boy and deserves a happy life.

Update: Seems that Henry threw up the pills we gave him last night and I only found out this afternoon while cleaning... so he got no meds in him yesterday, and this morning he threw one up and I had the hardest time getting it back down his throat... since I'm a little afraid of putting my hand in his mouth... he has such BIG teeth and they're dang sharp!! There's a bump thing in his tongue and the dr. said you had to get the pills behind that... and I now understand why... coz if you don't they spit them right out... so Mr. Henry is very clever in that he puts his tongue to the roof of his mouth or refuses to let me open his mouth and trying to pry his mouth open is just too difficult... but... I did get it in today and he didn't throw up again.

His gums are bleeding now... saw that yesterday evening and again today. He's been sleeping all day. I feel worried and sad. Naief so loves him, I'm really liking him too and I think Hashim is pretty keen of him.... and I really think he likes being here with us.... I just wish he'd eat so that he wouldn't have dry heaves... and I just wish he wouldn't throw up this medicine!!


Here's to hoping/praying that he gets better with the medicine. Love you Henry.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

the dark side of Dubai

I found this link on a friend's blog (Angry in Oman) and it's definitely worth the read....

I wonder how long it'll be until ppl start to realize that these sorts of things are happening everywhere in this part of the world!

This article talks about all the expats that are in debt and trapped in Dubai, the foreign workers that are enslaved there, the Emirates who are living the life of luxury and unable/unwilling to see the truth in front of them, the expats living high on the hog, gays loving Dubai, etc....

It's long but well worth the read.

busy weekend

Had a garage sale this weekend at my MILs school and I feel beat. Guess all the sun got to me today. My friend, T, put a bunch of stuff in it and MIL even put a bunch of stuff in it.... which makes it all the more fun, I think. Don't know what it is, but I do so enjoy doing garage sales.

Naief got sick w/ something yesterday and threw up several times throughout the day and has had diarrhea today... so am assuming it was some bug or something. If it's not better tomorrow, think I'll take him to the dr.

I haven't been doing much.... except watching Dexter. We're in the 2nd season now... and I like it. Who would think you'd like a serial killer.... but there's something about him and the fact that he kills bad ppl makes it all the better. Yeah... strange, I know, but I like him. Altho, last night he had a fling w/ his sponsor - since he's pretending to have a drug addiction (his true addiction is killing), and I wasn't too happy about this... so will see where things go tonight.

Naief starts his tumble tots this week and swimming on Wednesday. We dropped last terms swimming class coz he got an ear infection.... so I'm hoping that he enjoys it this time around and doesn't get sick. He's not to keen about tumble tots... the only real part he enjoys is running about and the music room... but a friend and her son are also taking the class, so maybe he'll like it and have fun. I've only paid the down payment though... so if he doesn't like it and doesn't participate, I think I'll pull him out w/out paying paying for the full term. What's the point really.... ?!

That's about it really... been feeling a bit bored w/ things... wish I had another good book to read. My older sister and I have decided to read 'the secret life of bees'. need to go tomorrow or Monday to find it. my blog friend, Christopher, is reading it and really likes it and have heard other positive things about it... so I'm hoping it's good. Also thinking of starting a yoga class or Pilate's. Used to work out all the time and haven't for toooooo long... and am also thinking of doing this fat smash diet... just need to get off my tush and get to it.

anyway... yawn, yawn... I'm tired and want to watch Dexter... so nighty night... :)

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Why I Love Being a Mom

There's an 'Around the World in 80 Clicks' type of thing happening in the blog world/cyberspace for all you mom's out there. The object is to find as many mommy bloggers as possible to tell/write the 5 things they love about being a mother and then tag another person or a few, but make sure to tell the ppl you're tagging, and then link back to the original page (be sure to tell them that you've done this) so that they know you've participated and so that they can add you to their list.

I first read about it through a friend on Facebook who happens to be involved with Global Voices Online and they're helping to spread the word. A woman at Her Bad Mother decided to start this initiative and it seems to really be catching on. She's linked several countries (hoping to get as many as possible to join in) and hopefully by the 80th day, it will have happened. :)

It's taken me a few days to think about it... afraid that I might write something down and later regret having listed that and not something else... which has only caused me un-needed stress... so I've decided to wing it and let my mind and heart carry me away to where it needs to go.... not that I don't love being a mother.. it's not that, but like Her Bad Mother... I often feel the same as she does. I don't always have the best of days, my house is always a wreck, and I don't love all kids. There's actually so much I could write about w/ respect to what causes me grief... and probably the reason I had such a hard time making a list of the positives, well... let's leave it at that. At least this made me think about the love I have for my son and all the reasons I love motherood. :) So here goes:

1. I must say that the number one thing I love about being a mother is being so in love with my little guy. I never thought this type of love was possible. It was instantaneous. Weird for someone who never wanted to have children.... but the thing is... until you have a baby, you don't know the feeling. I know love... I love my husband, I love my mother, I love my sisters and brothers, I love my animals, but the love I feel for Naief is indescribable. There's nothing that fills the heart more than the love for your child.

2. I love listening and talking to him. It's really nice at this age because he's really learning to communicate and we can actually have conversations. One mother wrote that she feels like she has a little mini-best friend. It made me cry because that's exactly how I feel. I love that he loves to talk.... about anything and everything. He sings too... and this is beyond words. I'll pretend not to be paying attention while he's singing or humming... and it's just too precious. I don't even know how to put into words how it makes me feel.

3. I love to watch him sleep. I can lie beside him for long periods of time and do nothing but look at him. He's so angelic looking, and this really helps to calm a momma down after a day of two-year old tantrums. Plus, when I'm beside him and he wakes up, he gets the biggest smile on his face and I usually get the best hugs and kisses then!!

4. I love getting kisses and hugs. This usually happens when he first wakes up or is about to go to bed, but sometimes he'll surprise me during the day with big ones. I take as many as I can get because I know it wont be too long before I'm getting nothing (he's growing so fast).... so I figure 100 or so a day isn't too bad.... :) Even if 'monster mommy' has to hold him down and gobble the sweet sugars up from every opening on his body!! :))) I'll do it if it means getting every last drop of sugar kisses left on his little neck, belly, arms, legs... even his stinky little feet! They're everywhere! :) Sometimes he's none to happy ... but most times, he'll turn his head and say "more" or squeal with delight as I'm gobbling them up!

5. I love being needed in the way that he needs me. This may sound weird... but in day-to-day life, you don't find a lot of ppl who really *need* you. Some ppl need you at work to finish projects, need you to do things for them, need you to pay bills on time, need you to buy their products, etc.... but this need... it is truly the real deal. It makes me feel complete as a woman and a mother... because I need him just as much as he needs me.

So.. this is my list. I know it doesn't cover everything... but these are the good ones, I think.

I tag Janeen, Valerie, Sarah, Nzinghas Soap Box, Lost in America, and anyone else who wants to do it... please let me know when you have though. I'd love to read your list!!

Good day my friends!

Friday, April 03, 2009

breaking dawn

Am on the last book in the series - breaking dawn. It's the biggest of the four with 754 pages. I'm already more than 1/2 way through it. I'll have to admit, I'm seriously addicted to these reading *gems*.

I wasn't much impressed by the 2nd book, even skipping about 8 or 9 chapters, to get to the back... which made my younger sister sorta pissy... but I didn't like where it was going and was dying to find out what was going to happen with Edward and Bella. And, to my credit, it's the first time I've ever done that... and... I'll also admit that I went online to find out what was going to happen. Yeah... she was really upset over that one. :)

Having done that, I wouldn't suggest it nor will I do it again. Plus, seeing the movie sorta ruined it for me for a while.... now, being in the midst of all that's going on in the 4th book, I've gotten past all of that. Even though I know, basically, what's going to happen... it's ok. I even want to go back and read the 2nd book - all the parts I skipped, since I'm really into Jacob and the werewolves.

I told a friend last Friday about these books and she quickly exclaimed, "oh, those are for teenagers.... you should read the vampire books I'm reading" and before leaving, went on to tell me the sordid details! Can't remember the names of them, but they're NOT for the kiddies. ;) She laughed and said she was getting up at 2 in the morning, w/ the excuse of having to go to the loo, just to sneak a read. :)))) And I thought I was the only one! ;)

On another front, Naief is now singing. He's started really liking a song we sing at Tumble Tots that has the same melody as "Are You Sleeping", but it's about fruit... and today before going to sleep, he sang it several times. He hums a lot and is starting to do a little diamond w/ his fingers for "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star". He's going through a stage of not wanting to share at all. One of his little friends didn't want to share w/ him this past play day, and it seems like he's all of a sudden realized that things are 'just' his. So today at lunch, he refused to share anything w/ his cousin, which made SIL none to happy, but me being me, I did tell her that her son was and is still the same and doesn't like to share sometimes, and that all kids go through this stage. Hubby also said it in Arabic... and she said nothing... so not sure if it sunk in or not. Probably not.

On the advice of a blog friend, one that has been blocked from my viewing pleasure because of the infamous MOI here in Bahrain (The Diary of a Lost Boy), I colored my hair darker this past Friday. It was a bit darker than I liked, but a nice change, and I'm now used to it. Went back today to get the highlights put in, which look really nice. I went to a Jack in the Box type of salon to have it done (right around the corner from our house)... something I was afraid to do and refused to do in the past, but.... decided to give it a try once again since my usual place keeps raising their prices and it costs an arm and leg to have my hair done nowadays... also got a pedicure while there, which didn't impress me. I'm spoiled, I suppose. I usually pay 8 to 10 dinars for a regular pedicure at my salon, which doesn't seem to costly since they give great massages and always do a great job w/ clipping, buffing and painting.... but this place, I paid 8 dinars for a "spa treatment" that was supposed to include a massage and didn't. She also clipped the side of one of my nails, when I specifically told her NOT to do that (again w/ the pointed toenails and why ppl like that style is beyond me), and then didn't want to paint the nails at the end... and did a bad job w/ it as well.

BUT... the nice thing about it and what made it perfect is that when I got home, Naief told me how "purty" my nails were over and over. :)))) Made my heart sing and made it all worth it in the end. He sure knows how to make momma putty in his hands.

good day my friends. :)

Sunday, March 29, 2009

the storm


Tonight there's a storm right above our house. This isn't a great photo, but... it's the 1st time that I've ever seen lightning here in Bahrain... and I've lived here for almost 6 years. I caught this just a few minutes ago while looking out the bedroom window. I had to stand for several minutes before getting a good sized one, and one that wasn't too fast for my slow little camera phone.

I must say, I'm a wee bit impressed w/ this storm. There's great lightning, rolling thunder, wind... what next??? Dare I mention the word rain???

Oh... please... let's have a downpour!!! One that lasts a few days even. :)

Thursday, March 26, 2009

twilight, the movie

Was so tickled to get the chance to see this movie last night, but I'll have to say, my expectations were high in that I really loved the book. I wasn't sure about the two main characters... they were good looking enough, but could they act.

I now understand why one blog friend got up and left the theatre....!

I didn't like the movie whatsoever. Terrible, I thought. Very teen flicky, but I guess with the two main characters being 17 yrs old, it would be like this... but still. I don't like this Robert Pattinson guy and it doesn't seem like he can act very well.... just my opinion (maybe I had over the top expectations). Way too much make-up on his face, his lips looked like they were smothered in lip stick all the time and I hated his eye expressions. To me, he just didn't mesh w/ the Edward in the book. I hate it when that happens. Felt the same when I watched Interview w/ the Vampire. Absolutely HATED Brat Pitt and Tom Cruise in those roles, and hated the movie even more...

The twilight movie moved way too fast and wasn't true to the book in several areas, but seems like most of the books made into movies do this... shame really. I wonder if Harry Potter did the same. Haven't read the books so have no idea really. I enjoyed the movies... haven't seen the last, but I liked them, so wish I could say the same about this one.

I only hope w/ the new director that'll be coming up for the 2nd in the series will do a better job all around. I only hope this Robert guy gets w/ the role... but maybe no one could live up to ppl's (my) expectations. Seems like lots of ppl were against this Jacob guy, and he wasn't bad as an actor, actually, and I thought he fit the role quite well. So, maybe it's just me coz all the girls seem to be totally gaga over this guy who plays Edward.

All the vampires weren't right w/ me. Didn't like any of them and thought the make-up was terrible, the acting was terrible... just everything. And the 3 bad vampires that come into Fork later in the movie (once again not going along w/ the book)... really, the only good one was Laurent...

well... sadly, another one bites the dust!

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Easter hats



These are a couple pics from yesterday's decorating fun. Me and a friend made six different hats, with two being these adorable chicken hats (she's so creative), for the weekend Easter Day in the Park.

We'll be going on a walk-a-thon, weather permitting, Friday morning and then Easter in the Park on Saturday. It'll be Naief's first Easter egg hunt and hopefully as fun as I'm imagining.

I've debated about doing an Easter basket for Naief this year... it's a tradition in my family, and since talking to my older sister, I've decided to do something fun and not loaded down w/ sweets... a few sweets... no Easter basket would be complete w/out candy eggs and such... right... but I'll add a few other things as well.

Gonna do little treats for his friends and cousins... :) I wonder what the in-laws will think about that???