Funny how I lay in bed now, in the early morning or early evening, watching the trees bend with the wind, listening to the windchimes that I brought from the States (thinking about California - coz my sister has so many of them and they sound so beautiful when the wind blows), and I realize that Bahrain is now my home. One day I know we may go back to the States, but it won't be any time soon... and this time it feels okay. Even when we landed in Bahrain and left the airport, I usually have this feeling of sadness when I look at so many girls covered in black, but this time, I didn't.
This time, strangely enough, as I was waiting for Hashim to hail a cab/find transportation, several different girls came up and talked to Naief, kissed him and said hello. It was a nice welcoming and made me feel different...
I've heard other expats say this about having children here, but not until now did I have the experience - and there is something about it... something that welcomes you.
While I was in California, I found myself feeling like it was a bittersweet stay. My mom was sick and in bed for most of the time - not every waking hour, but more than I'm used to, and it was difficult. Difficult in that I don't like seeing her ill, weak and getting older - but it's a fact of life. And she's become quite crabby in her old age. She gets mad easily and then pouts heavily if you hurt her feelings or make her mad and such. It's true when they say that older ppl tend to become like children again because I see her doing that at times. And sister... this isn't a blog for mother to read! nor to share... so if you're reading this, keep it to yourself please.
I don't argue w/ my mom any more. I just refuse to, no matter how mad she makes me or if she says something that bothers me... I just see her and can't. I see no reason in upsetting her, altho I know I do at times, but nowadays, I'd never do it intentionally. I tell my sister not to argue w/ her, but I think it's harder for one when they live w/ that person and see it and live w/ a variety of stresses daily, and it's easier for me to come in and say something or tell her to do this or do that because I'm not living with it... but when I see the two of them and if there's tension between them.. I think back to when I was younger and more argumentative w/ her and try to see my sister's point of view and such... but even then it's hard. So... that was bittersweet.
Then w/ my sister, she was busy w/ work and her life, friends, family and such.... and the days passed so quickly. So I found myself getting aggravated w/ her for not giving more time to our time there, but life has a funny way of pulling you away from things, doesn't it?!! I'm glad she stays busy and has such a social life... me, I'm much different. I guess in some ways I felt jealousy in that I wished I was more like her at times. She'll die when she reads this... but it's true.
anyway... all in all, I'm doing better than I was before I left Bahrain and I'm happy for that. Hubby is telling me to come - he's ready to go home... so I'll wrap this post up here... just wanted to let you guys know how I'm doing... my emotions are better... :)