Tonight we all went over to my MILs.... everyone loves holding the baby... feeding him, changing him and such, and especially talking to him. Naief seems to enjoy it as much. I'm glad he's loved so much by everyone.
The night was going nicely when all of a sudden it was feeding time.... and once again the topic went to my not being able to breastfeed. I don't think anyone realizes that when you have a c-secion, it's very difficult to breastfeed or can take a good week or longer for anything to come. For a baby, this can be extremely difficult, especially if he's really hungry. A mistake I made was allowing them to formula feed him - even tho it was from a cup - it still gave him instant gratification whereas he had to work when he was w/ me and that's something he didn't want to do. So khalas, no breastfeeding. Now, it's not saying that Naief gave up immediately cuz he didn't, but he's not one for waiting.
Anyway... I'm off the point. No one at my in-law's house understands how much this has affected me. Believe me, I cried for days over it and even still when I look at Naief while he's taking the bottle, I wish it had gone differently, but it didn't.
Well... tonight.... of ALL the things that could be said to me, I was NOT expecting this one. It came right out of left field and almost floored me. My SIL offered and pretty much insisted, as well as my MIL, that she be able to breastfeed the baby!!! I thought I was dreaming. She has a two year old and is still nursing him.... so, she's primed and ready. She strongly offered to do this and then they went on about how Naief would be Hamoodi's (her son) brother, and then my MIL said that if my SIL brought a girl, they wouldn't be able to marry because they'd be brother and sister!!! I sat there hardlly believing what just hit me square in the face. Without a second thought, I said loudly and w/out hesitation ,"NO, no, no".
They just looked at me. I sit here and wonder now if they expected for me to say yes. How could I? Yes, it was an incredibly sweet gesture on my SILs part... thinking about it after the fact, I do realize that, but there is no way, and I mean NO WAY that I would allow her to breastfeed my baby.
Here I am feeling lousy for not being able to breastfeed, have made it known to them, and they want my SIL to breastfeed him. He's my child.... not hers. Why would I want my baby breastfeeding from her? I can't even imagine it. The thought of her holding him and him doing that.... I can't even stand the thought of it. Believe me, it would drive me insane if they had some type of control and were able to do this. I know, I'd go insane. Kidding here, but seriously.
I wonder if a lot of families do this. I know it was done years ago by the British... they'd have nurse nannies, I think that's what they called them. Their whole function was to do the breastfeeding.... and maybe other societies have done this or do it... and maybe it's a norm for some women and some wouldn't find issue with it... but I do. I wouldn't be able to take it. I think it would cause a ton of jealousy on my part.... because I, in no way, want my baby having that type of closeness w/ any other woman. Hell, I would never even allow a housemaid to take on any type of mothering role w/ him... ever.... for that matter... and they wouldn't even be doing that or wanting to do that.
I hope I didn't make her mad or offend her or my MIL, but, honestly, I wonder if they really expected for me to allow it. I know they weren't kidding.. they tried to say it in a light way, but still... they were not kidding.
I breathe a sigh of relief that this is not something that would be put upon me... something I would never be made to do because it would cause me such hard feelings. I wonder how a mother could do that... why a mother would allow that.... how she could give her child to another woman to feed from.... to bond with.... to create a closeness that I want no other woman to have w/ my son.
Maybe I'm too jealous.... What do you think?