Friday, September 14, 2007

2nd day of Ramadan

First, let me say Ramadan Kareem to everyone out there.

I'm not fasting this year so I have no headaches, no grouchy attitude and such. Last night when we got to my in-laws, I guess it was about 20 mins before my SIL came and she was in the worst state imaginable. She usually doesn't fast but is this year, and, I have to laugh, coz you'd think she's dying. She's putting on a good act for her husband, I hear... I guess in hopes of not having to fast. Not sure though.

Me and Naief have been really sick for the past 5 days. I got it from him. He's been sick since last Sunday and then I got it 3 days ago. He's not sleeping at night because he can't breath out of his nose and he hates it. He wakes up crying probably every 20 mins or so, and I'm having the same problems... so we're such a joy to be around. ;)

It's exhausting.

I sit and wonder how mothers w/ 3 or more children do it. I'm not talking about the women in these parts... but women who don't have housemaids to do it or nannies. Motherhood is hard work. Cleaning the house and cooking have been such a struggle for me as of late. I tried taking Naief to my MIL's kindergarten but he hated it, and that's where he picked up whatever this is that we have. Taking him there did allow me time to get things done in the house, but the afternoons are terrible because he's in such a stressful state from being there in the morning.... so I'm really debating about whether or not to take him back. I haven't taken him since he's been sick, and the dr. said it's really best to keep him away from that environment for as long as possible.... so what to do.

Right now he's going thru separation anxiety and wants me to hold him all the time. He gets crazily excited when I pick him up in the mornings and just squeals w/ delight. It's the sweetest thing, but when he only wants to be in his walker for 15 mins max and then insists on my holding him... well, it makes it very difficult to get anything done.

He's also crying a lot around other ppl, mainly my MIL. He hates for her to hold him... and it's not only worrisome but a little embarrassing. She believes he's totally spoiled and doesn't understand the stranger and separation anxiety things.... so.. I'm hoping w/ the next month of going there, he'll warm up to her. Who knows... I will say that I wonder if it's something more than this... but maybe it's only that he doesn't want her to hold him.

We're still allowing him to sleep w/ us. A lot of ppl disagree w/ this, including my MIL and one of my SILs. I asked the dr. about it day before yesterday and he said there's nothing wrong w/ it, other than it can cause distance in the relationship if you let it. A lot of ppl believe strongly in allowing the child to sleep in the same bed as the parents... and I'm one of these. I see nothing wrong w/ it actually. I do know that many believe that the sooner you get them into their own rooms, the better. Feeling it gives stronger personalities and independence. But, from reading that I've done on the topic, there aren't any proven studies to show what benefits it has vs. what negative impact it has on the child.

I've tried allowing him to cry it out and I just can't do it. And I think... why do that when he's happy as a lark sleeping w/ us. He snuggles w/ me or Hashim at night and feels safe and secure... why put him in his bed and have him cry for long periods of time, wake up and feel scared and start crying... etc., etc.

Anyway... life as been very hectic for me and w/ being sick... I haven't had any time to be online really. I hope all of you are enjoying Ramadan and find much peace in the coming month... and I hope all the rest of you have a good weekend... and find happiness in the simplest of forms.

Happy day to you.


bint battuta said...

Get well soon, both of you... And regarding whether it's the 'right' thing to do to let Naief sleep with you, just go with your instincts. I think women usually know what their children need - no need to look to a book or expert to tell you... A happy and peaceful Ramadan to you all.

Mrs Dynamite aka Lorena +Wonder Women... said...

Hola Friend ... Well let me tell you .. sara is 3 and have a beutiful room ... and she had never sleep in there ... she like to sleep with us .. when we move to the big villa she was happy but the firts 3 nights she walk crying because the azzan weak her up LOL we have a mosque near home so her window is there LOL ... i dont force her to go and sleep in her room .. hubby is never at ahome any way .. he travels all the time ... so when he comes he join us LOL ... yup is sara and mama's bed ... about being with your MIL well this is just normal ... he will be more free when he get older.. about cleaning and cooking :) welcome to the club ... Im going back to ameirca in the next few months and this is going to be be my new life .. hehehehe but thx god I was here wile sara was a baby and i have help ... good luck friend!

Sunshine said...

aww, he's still young, so why shouldnt he sleep with you? just do what u think works
get well soon Naief and Um Naief :)

Anonymous said...

There is a time for everything,
a season for every activity
under heaven. A time to be
born and a time to die. A
time to plant and a time to
harvest. A time to kill and
a time to heal. A time to
tear down and a time to
rebuild. A time to cry and
a time to laugh. A time to
grieve and a time to dance.
A time to scatter stones
and a time to gather stones.
A time to embrace and a
time to turn away. A time to
search and a time to lose.
A time to keep and a time to
throw away. A time to tear
and a time to mend. A time
to be quiet and a time to
speak up. A time to love
and a time to hate. A time
for war and a time for peace.

Best wishes for continued ascendancy,
Dr. Whoami

P.S. Here's some blogs that I found
of interest
as I negotiated my way
through cyberspace:

Every Student
Religion Comparison
Around the Well
Danish Cartoons
Arabic Cartoons
Muhammad or Jesus???
Answering Islam
Is Jesus God?
A Short Look At Six World Religions
God's Word in different languages...
How to become a Christian
Who Is Jesus?
See The Word
Watch The Jesus Movie
Spanish Cartoons
German Cartoons
Chinese Cartoons
Italian Cartoons
Greek Cartoons
Japanese Cartoons
Portuguese Cartoons
French Cartoons
Hindi Cartoons
Russian Cartoons
'Thought & Humor'

Only one of these is amalgamated with me -
can you determine which one??? Tell me
sometime what your thoughts are about
all this:O)

Peceli and Wendy's Blog said...

Gosh, that professor is a preachy kind of guy, though I like the words from Ecclesiastes and have some great music that goes with it - no not that old Turn, turn, turn.
Well, young mum, about the kid sleeping in your bed. He needs a bit of time by himself too - and you and your honey need some time on your own also! But how to tell the little angel to move out, well, that's the problem!

Puppy said...

Ramadan Kareem!!!

I wonder why ppl say about headaches? I fast for 3 days now, and i didnt have headaches so far, mashallah to me :))))

I decided to fast untill i travel to Prague, which is upcoming Saturday, YEEYYY!!!!:)

Project is very close to an end, maximum a 10days work remained.

Sleeping with Naief is really good, i can tell you from kid point of view, but Wendy has a point.

iSlut said...

Just a heads up that Prof is a noobie splogger, new to splogging and been leaving his litter around other blogs as well ;-)

Olivia said...

I slept with my parents for my first couple years or so - it started when because I was so tiny my mother had to check my breathing - basically my cot would have one wall down against their bed, so she could scoop me without getting up.

For the next stage, I'd fall asleep in my parents' bed, then when they came to bed Dad would carry me to my bed, and in the morning when he got up for work he'd put me back in so Mum and I would wake up together. When I turned 6 and my feet hit the door jamb, the routine stopped and I spent the whole night in my own bed. After that it was just the usual cliche of Saturday morning snuggles and drawing faces on my parents' feet and stuff. And like Lorena's Sara, I'd keep Mum company when Dad was away. :D

Jac said...

What ever the studies or others say, it is better to allow a child to sleep with the parents when they are sick.

You don't need to refer any books for that, um naief !

Ramdan Al Kareem !

Um Naief said...

lorena, i didn't realize you were moving back to the states. why move if you were planning to move? are you happy because of it? i'll give you a ring... and thanks for your comments. even though hubby is home, we still sleep w/ naief, and i love it. just today i took a nap w/ him and when he woke up it was soooo sweet. he smiles quietly and touches my face.. putting his fingers in my nose... everything and he'd just smile. i loved it. if he slept elsewhere, wouldn't have these wonderful moments.... is the way i look at it.

sunshine, i agree... he's a little baby still... i see nothing wrong w/ it. he actually slept thru the night lastnight for the first time in a very long time... it was nice. and it's a good way to get daddy up and moving for work each morning! :)

wendy, i agree w/ him learning to play by himself and such, but w/ the sleeping... i'll wait a while longer. and time for me and hubby... well... we get the time after he goes to sleep and we spend quality time together w/ him as well. i do put him in his crib on weekends during the day for naps and during the day at home during the week... i'll put him in the crib when he's really sleepy. most times he doesn't rest for long in the crib.. i think it's too quiet.

puppy, i can't wait to hear all about your trip to prague. i haven't been online and been to your blog in a while... i hope to have some time tonight... have a wonderful trip and i hope you have the time of your life!! :)

olivia, we've been talking about getting a cot for beside the bed. i think about how small you must have been and imagine what your mother must have gone through. before when you talked about it, i really had no idea... but now... it just amazes me at how strong women are! i think it's a wonderful thing to have a child sleep w/ you. i know that after a while, he'll have to go to his own room, but right now, i truly love having him sleep next to me.

jac, well... :) he sleeps w/ us all the time :) it's wonderful though... and last night, he slept clean thru the night!

Um Naief said...

bint battuta, yes i agree... i think a woman's natural instincts are a true factor in finding the answer to such questions. i've had ppl try and tell me what to do, but in the end, i am usually right when i approach it. and thankfully i'm feeling a lot better... naief is doing better, but we thought hashim was picking it up. seems he's doing a lot better after i gave him a squirt of nasal stuff yesterday!