my world's aaaa changin'

boy, has my world been changing! you wouldn't think a little thing like walking could bring such change, soooo soon!! this little one has become a new little boy w/ the onset of walking. i'm sure it's his newfound independence, having mommy twisted around his little pinky and realizing there's a whole new world that's opened up to him. phew.... it's exhausting!

he can't run yet... thank gawd, but i can see it coming, and i'm hoping/praying that it's not for a good few months.

now, any time we go someplace, he no longer wants to sit in the stroller for very long, doesn't want to ride in the cart and hates to be held. he'll twist his body around, bend backwards and forwards, and from side to side until you let him down. once he's down, he's gone. when we go to Geant, somehow, someway, this little boy knows exactly how to get to the toy area. it's like there's a little radar beacon that pulls him to where the toy house is and once he gets there, it's like pulling his little baby teeth to get him out of it. he throws little fits when daddy gets him out, tightens his back and screams until we're practically out of the store!!

what happened to my sweet little angel???? he's disappeared and this little independent monster has taken his place.

everything is changing. he now refuses to let me feed him (which i know is a good thing), but the thing is... most days he doesn't get the food to his mouth and winds up not getting much to eat, unless i help, but he's soo stubborn and independent that he wont let me... (but that has been changing somewhat!!). he has started to refuse to sit in his highchair, insisting on either sitting on my lap to eat or to eat in one of the other chairs or i put his plate on the chair and he'll eat while he's on the go.... from room to room, that is.

he calls me at least a 100 times a day, and if i'm doing something and don't go to him immediately, he'll scream it over and over until i'm right in front of him - sometimes not even stopping when that happens. it wore me out for the first couple of weeks. i found myself losing patience, not knowing what to do and he could sense it. the more i got frustrated, the more he'd do it. it was rough at first.... very rough.

we've both calmed down now... well, at least for the last couple of days. today and yesterday were the best days by far. i've realized that losing patience and getting upset does nothing for me.... nor him for that matter. i have finally let go of this internal need of mine to get it all done by the end of the day. i've realized it's impossible, especially when you're caring for a small child. yeah, yeah... why did it take me so long to figure this one out?? because i'm a perfectionist... wanting to clean the house, do the laundry and watch naief... thinking/believing that other mothers do it, so i should be able to as well. but i can't. so, i've let go of having the house perfect. spending more time w/ naief is the most important thing, and it pays off. he isn't as moody, is much calmer - which, in turn, creates more calmness in the house, and it makes me happy too. now... i'm hoping that i can maintain this imperfect house w/out beating myself up about it....

he's changing in some really sweet ways as well.... he has started noticing bugs now. hates them! just like his daddy. he will call me to where ever he is and point to the ant on the floor - so i kill it - and the other evening we were outside while daddy was watering and he actually did his little body in a shiver motion when he saw this big black bug... it was sooo cute. he yelled for me and screamed a little when he thought he'd actually have to walk by it. he saw some kind of bug today when we were doing laundry and refused to move. i'm so hoping that it's a phase and he doesn't have a lifelong fear of bugs! but hey... i hate some of them and we all know his daddy is terrified of bugs!! ;) so, he probably will. we also bought him this little, red convertible roadster car (plastic) that can be controlled by hashim. he loves it. we went out walking yesterday evening and he rode around in that thing for about an hour 1/2 - not wanting to come out when it was time.

but anyhoo... can NOT believe this hot weather. we were out yesterday and the temp dodad inside the car said it was 49 outside... what is that.... like 120 F??? it was terrible. i hate this hot weather.

George Carlin

Just found out on the Early Show that George Carlin died yesterday. I really loved this guy and am sad to hear that he's passed away. He said so many great things and was one of the funniest comics.... one thing he said that has always stayed w/ me is: "Pets are little tragedies waiting to happen"

I have 8 little tragedies waiting to happen.

This is just one thing that hit home w/ me... but there are many, many things that he said over his life time that could make anyone laugh.....

Rest in peace George Carlin.

date day

today, after i don't know how long, me and hashim had a date day. :) naief stayed w/ momma uuda (sp??) and played w/ his cousin while we went to lunch and then to a movie. i'm not a big going to the theatre person... hate sitting in the chairs for such a long time, hate listening to mobile phones ringing during the movie and even to the ppl who answer the calls, get annoyed at how loud some ppl eat... won't get up - unless i'm gonna go on myself - to run to the toilet unless i'm dying and then, if i have to, hate, hate, hate, trying to find my way in the dark while everyone else around me can see! anyway... even after all of that junk... we went to the movies and it was fabulous.

i so much needed some time off. needed to go out and have grown up talk, laugh and not worry about hurrying coz naief is getting too loud or can't sit still.... etc.

lunch was good and Indiana Jones didn't disappoint me. yeah, harrison is a tad older now, but he's in good shape and can still jump around and carry the show just like he did years ago. the movie wasn't as great as i had hoped it would be, but i still liked it.... or maybe it was just being there w/ my sweetie, holding hands and letting myself be carried away w/ the film. has anyone seen it? did you like it?

the one thing that bothered me is that when we got home, we headed over to the in-laws to pick up the little one and as soon as we walked in, i was shown his leg and told that that was there when we brought him to the house today. i'm not sure what it is, but it looks like a burn on the bottom part of his leg. it looks as though his leg was touched or he touched the rim of something and it burned him. it's red, inflamed and looks like it could get a blister in the middle part of it. it's not super big or anything, but it still bothers me. they all told us that ayesha said it was there when he came over and then asked me if he had been up against anything hot or if he did that at home. it hadn't and i knew something had happened, but no one was planning on spilling the beans.

i know that kids get into things. maybe that's what happened, i don't know. i have mixed emotions about it. i know he'll be fine, but i'm SURE it hurt and that he cried when it happened. he cries when an ant bites him, so i know that he cried w/ this... so someone had to know when it happened and what happened. i just don't like not being told or being told it was there when he came, which i know isn't the case. i looked at his leg this morning because he got an ant bite last night when we were out front... i would have seen it then and didn't.

it's not a bad place or anything, it's not that. i just don't like not knowing what happened and if his cousin did it or if one of the housemaids did it or something.

i'm getting to where i don't want my child in a room alone w/ these women. i trust one girl that works for my MIL. the other girl - i get a bad feeling about. i didn't talk about it here on the blog, but some weeks back, i saw a housemaid touch a little boy in an inappropriate way while changing his diaper. i said nothing to her at the time, but did tell his mother. not sure what happened with it, but it's stuff like this and then the thing that's on naief's leg that bothers me. as would anyone, i'm sure.

so... a day that started off really well, had a terrific middle and ended on a somewhat lower note... still left a good feeling in my heart.... so that's what counts, eh?

it's 10:32 pm... naief is asleep, hashim is playing splinter cell and i'm tired... and hoping i'll fall asleep soon. i got a herbal pill today that's supposed to be good for insomnia, and since i'm feeling drowsy.. it just might be working! :)

good night all

the only thing is....

been catching up on some blogs tonight and came across a good post by The Sudanese Thinker on Obama. After reading thru the thread of comments, I got to thinking about Obama... and you know, the one thing that bothers me about the guy is this....

I've noticed that in some of his speeches, he sounds like one of those down south Baptist preachers ... almost sounds like he's standing on the pulpit.. giving his sermon right then and there...

and I can't stand this. Maybe it's his way of getting thru to some voters... I don't know. Maybe it's his way of making ppl think of Martin L. King and the speeches he used to give... I don't know. I don't know what it is really, but it bothers me. Maybe because it makes me think of liars, ppl that'll say anything to get your money, ppl that'll say anything to get you over to their way of thinking - believing. Exactly the reason I can't stand organized religion.... well, that and a few other things! ;)

anyway... has anyone else noticed this about the guy? Don't get me wrong. I like him - believe in him - but this one little BITTY thing is bothering the hell outta me!

A First for America??

Will the U.S. see its first African American President this November?

I've talked to friends in the States, who are for Obama, but feel he doesn't stand a chance up against McCain. One friend said that she read some poll months ago saying that 70% of Americans didn't believe in evolution... therefore, how would/could these ppl vote for a black president.

If Clinton gets on the ticket w/ him... will this give him a better chance?? I think so.

I personally believe he stands a chance against McCain. I believe and always have that Americans are ready for a change. Even back in the beginning when so many were saying that he's too fresh and doesn't have the experience.. I still knew he was gonna win it. The Democratic nomination... that is.

Now he practically has... only a few more days until it's really official and then it's time to start the big race for the White House. McCain has already started attacking him... actually started that months back - for he knows that he has a tough race if he goes up against him - so... what does that say? Does it mean that McCain feels like he can't win? Does it mean that he's stupid and thinks that these attacks will actually have some affect on the voters? Does he really think that anyone gives a rat's *^@! about what he thinks?!!! :)

I know there are those that are die hard McCain backers.... no matter who's running, they'll vote Republican for THEY ARE REPUBLICAN. I used to work w/ a guy that was like this... always trying to change my mind and trying to talk me into becoming a Republican - in those days I was very much a Liberal or would vote for the person who I thought would turn the White House around... and even voted for Ross Perot (if you can believe it)... believing he could definitely change America - but many didn't have the same opinion as I and his light quickly fizzled...

but anyhoo... here we are again... it's VOTING TIME and the stakes are super high this time. It'll be a first for many reasons... a first IF Obama wins and a first if Hillary runs w/ him in that she'll be the first female Vice President. I think she'd make a great Vice President... so here's to hoping it'll work out this way.

I just hope that these crazy radicals don't come out in forces and try to assassinate him either while he's running or if he wins. There are some out there that are crazy, crazy racist in the States and I could see it.....