Wednesday, June 25, 2008

my world's aaaa changin'

boy, has my world been changing! you wouldn't think a little thing like walking could bring such change, soooo soon!! this little one has become a new little boy w/ the onset of walking. i'm sure it's his newfound independence, having mommy twisted around his little pinky and realizing there's a whole new world that's opened up to him. phew.... it's exhausting!

he can't run yet... thank gawd, but i can see it coming, and i'm hoping/praying that it's not for a good few months.

now, any time we go someplace, he no longer wants to sit in the stroller for very long, doesn't want to ride in the cart and hates to be held. he'll twist his body around, bend backwards and forwards, and from side to side until you let him down. once he's down, he's gone. when we go to Geant, somehow, someway, this little boy knows exactly how to get to the toy area. it's like there's a little radar beacon that pulls him to where the toy house is and once he gets there, it's like pulling his little baby teeth to get him out of it. he throws little fits when daddy gets him out, tightens his back and screams until we're practically out of the store!!

what happened to my sweet little angel???? he's disappeared and this little independent monster has taken his place.

everything is changing. he now refuses to let me feed him (which i know is a good thing), but the thing is... most days he doesn't get the food to his mouth and winds up not getting much to eat, unless i help, but he's soo stubborn and independent that he wont let me... (but that has been changing somewhat!!). he has started to refuse to sit in his highchair, insisting on either sitting on my lap to eat or to eat in one of the other chairs or i put his plate on the chair and he'll eat while he's on the go.... from room to room, that is.

he calls me at least a 100 times a day, and if i'm doing something and don't go to him immediately, he'll scream it over and over until i'm right in front of him - sometimes not even stopping when that happens. it wore me out for the first couple of weeks. i found myself losing patience, not knowing what to do and he could sense it. the more i got frustrated, the more he'd do it. it was rough at first.... very rough.

we've both calmed down now... well, at least for the last couple of days. today and yesterday were the best days by far. i've realized that losing patience and getting upset does nothing for me.... nor him for that matter. i have finally let go of this internal need of mine to get it all done by the end of the day. i've realized it's impossible, especially when you're caring for a small child. yeah, yeah... why did it take me so long to figure this one out?? because i'm a perfectionist... wanting to clean the house, do the laundry and watch naief... thinking/believing that other mothers do it, so i should be able to as well. but i can't. so, i've let go of having the house perfect. spending more time w/ naief is the most important thing, and it pays off. he isn't as moody, is much calmer - which, in turn, creates more calmness in the house, and it makes me happy too. now... i'm hoping that i can maintain this imperfect house w/out beating myself up about it....

he's changing in some really sweet ways as well.... he has started noticing bugs now. hates them! just like his daddy. he will call me to where ever he is and point to the ant on the floor - so i kill it - and the other evening we were outside while daddy was watering and he actually did his little body in a shiver motion when he saw this big black bug... it was sooo cute. he yelled for me and screamed a little when he thought he'd actually have to walk by it. he saw some kind of bug today when we were doing laundry and refused to move. i'm so hoping that it's a phase and he doesn't have a lifelong fear of bugs! but hey... i hate some of them and we all know his daddy is terrified of bugs!! ;) so, he probably will. we also bought him this little, red convertible roadster car (plastic) that can be controlled by hashim. he loves it. we went out walking yesterday evening and he rode around in that thing for about an hour 1/2 - not wanting to come out when it was time.

but anyhoo... can NOT believe this hot weather. we were out yesterday and the temp dodad inside the car said it was 49 outside... what is that.... like 120 F??? it was terrible. i hate this hot weather.


Peceli and Wendy's Blog said...

Hello there Mummy, now you know what it's like when the little kid is starting to be independent by being able to walk! One thing about eating - try not to let him eat wandering around. Only eat at the table eh!
It's a lovely age though because he's exploring the world of bugs and tiny things. Curiosity is a wondrous thing for all of us. Share these moments of smelling, touching, tasting (?) small things he finds.

Anonymous said...

I like Peceli's comment. It seems like it can be hard to notice the good in these moments. But really it is a beautiful thing t o see your little one interacting more with you/the world/bugs whatever it is. I liked how you ended your post with the realization that being with him is the most important thing, and how it affected him immediately.

I have been reading this book I bought from the states called: The Baby Book, and it talks about attachment parenting and its so comforting to read about how you can give your baby lots of attention and its a GOOD thing for your baby. I need to bring it next time we hang out. Ahhh plus that diaper free book!

Chief Rock Chef said...

Hm, you are in a bad place if you don't like hot weather!

Regarding the tantrums and demanding his own way - try to be calm but firm - you are the adult, you are in charge. He will learn and adapt to firm rules. If he knows he can get his own way by screaming it will never stop!

Good luck!

Um Naief said...

wendy, how do i keep him at the table??? now he doesn't even want to sit in the highchair w/out trying to stand up and such, and if i put him in the chair, he gets down. he won't sit still at restaurants.... can you give me some advice?!!!! :)

omtutu, i think the most important thing for all of is to slow down and experience life/the moments/love. i've allowed myself not to do that for the last few wks... but i've started changing that and it does make a difference. i agree with it being a good thing to show your baby lots of attention. i've had some try and change me - even make me question myself - for giving naief so much attention. he's such a kind little boy, so loving and friendly... i think there's a difference between children when the parents don't give their child tons of attention. hashim is placing an order w/ amazon... i'll check this book out.

rockchef, sometimes i think i've been too firm... that's why i'm really slowing down and trying NOT to feel like it all has to be so perfect. makes me less stressed and less likely to lose my patience. because i really need to do what Wendy says ... share more moments w/ him.

Puppy said...

I read this post and i have no clue what i would do, so i will wait for experienced people to comment :)

this "what happened to my sweet little angel???? he's disappeared and this little independent monster has taken his place." made me laugh so hard :))))))))))))))

Part about calling for 100 times and then not even stopping, LOOOOOOL, r u serious? for a side viewer would be so FUN to watch. I guess i am not ready for motherhood. I bet you get irritated and angry, but for me its sounds so much fun just to be around such kid. Interesting.

Here we have 34 degrees already, people are going to beaches and Aqua Parks, and i am not lost enough of weight yet :)

Take care, all the best, lots of patience


Peceli and Wendy's Blog said...

Hello, it's me again. On Friday night I was talking to a young mum with a two year old and she said at the day care where he goes, if a child is difficult, he or she has to have time-out and they can't play with the toys etc. Just have to wait. Maybe somehow when your little boy won't do what he's told, somehow he has to learn by taking time out in some way. But your boy is still very young though.

Anonymous said...

oH GOOOOOOOOO Hashim! He's on top of it :) Well i can't wait to hear what you think about that book. I'm also reading this book called Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy child. Let me tell you... I've got a lot of work to do!

The Moody Minstrel said...

I'm not always one to recommend Dr. Spock (I disagree with him on a lot of points for various reasons), but one thing he says hits the nail right on the head:

Don't let your little one bully you! If he keeps screaming at you to do things for him, take your time getting there. Otherwise he'll be screaming at you like that till he's twenty.

Gazza said...

It all happens so fast,they start school,go to collage,then university,my eldest told me that after uni she's leaving home for good,life' so short?

Um Naief said...

puppy, well, not a 100 times, but there are days when it feels like that :) his screaming has slowed down considerably since i've slowed down on my fanatic cleaning. he needed more attention. there's a nice aqua park here that has an area for small children. we were wanting to take him there, but w/ the temps so high, i'm afraid he'd get burned and/or that it would be just too hot for him.

wendy, my therapist told me to do the time out as well. i think he's too young for it. i tried it one day - using his high chair - he thought it was fun. didn't understand why i was putting him there, i think. not sure that i will do it again. for one, there isn't a suitable place to do it. she suggested using his car seat, stroller or high chair, but i don't want to associate negativity w/ any of these things. plus, i think trying to keep him in a small chair would create major chaos for he doesn't understand it yet. right now, i think the best thing is to continue to make eating a positive thing, in his high chair, and when he's finished, he's finished, and then to let him snack on the run.

omtutu, you'll have to tell me about the healthy sleep habits book. i'd be interested in what they say about children sleeping w/ their parents.

moody, i stared w/ the Dr. Spock stuff. i'd let him call me and call me, and then responding only when i thought appropriate. it works sometimes, but other times, it does nothing but make it worse. or so it seems on days. i think testing it for a while will work best.

gazza, yes, time passes so fast. i have pics of naief on the fridge at 2 mths and it seems like only yesterday that he was that age!

Um Naief said...

wendy, well, believe it or not, i had to resort to the time out this morning and it worked!!! i got a small chair from my MILs school and put him on that this morn for a few minutes after he threw something. he got up once, i put him back on and he sat there. he cried after about a min. and called me at the end, but i think it worked. i'm not sure he completely understood why i put him there, since it took me a few to get the chair from his room, but i will continue to do this and see what happens.

Olivia said...

He's approaching that need to control his world and when he can't, ohhhh dear...

He's about two isn't he? I think the experts have given you pretty good advice. Bottom line, be firm no matter how difficult that is.

It's in the low 80s here in NY. Not bad :)

Christopher said...

uh oh! Sounds like you're in the stages of the terrible two's! I send you a wave of patience, and if it was legal I would send you a bottle of valium for yourself...He's growing up for sure...just be patient, it will all be better in the end! xoxo