18 mths here and gone

18 mths has come and gone.... ok, by one day, but yesterday seemed to last a loooooonnng time, especially by early this morning when I hadn't seen but an hour or so of sleep.

Naief went to the dr. yesterday to get checked for his cough and what I thought to be a sore throat, and wound up getting his 18 mth injection. I've been dreading these last couple of injections... with a real fear inside of me of autism. This fear has been constant for a while, so I'm thankful they're over and hope that the next few months are smooth sailing, even though the dr. told me I had no reason to worry since the 1 yr vaccine was the 'real' worry, in terms of autism. Nice that he didn't mention that at the time! and blew me off when I addressed my worries the first time.... you know, are there any good pediatricians in this country?? I swear.. when I read my baby books, I feel like there's something really missing when we visit the dr., but anyway...

So... he gets checked out... ears, throat, nose, chest and back, and all is ok, altho I am told to give him Actifed until the runny nose and coughing clears up, then ... the big injection is given. I told Naief beforehand, which worked the last time. He didn't shed a tear w/ his last injection, but not so lucky this time around. He cried and cried hard... but stopped soon after ... as soon as his eyes found something else more interesting, which was a blessing.

He seemed well enough... running and playing at home, but went to bed early since he hadn't had a real nap yesterday, but I guess around 9 or so last night, he awoke crying like I've never heard him cry before. It scared me, matter of fact. Don't think I've ever heard him cry with such deep sounding pain.... so I got inside beside him and tried to comfort him as best as possible, only to realize he had a fever and let out blood curdling cries if I touched his right leg - which just so happened to be the leg where he got the shot.

I felt the site - really hot - so I asked hubby to go and get a cold pack, then picked Naief up and put him on me. I guess after about 20 mins or crying, he started to settle down.... until I put the cold pack on his leg, and then, once again, he cried so heavy that I worried whether or not everything was ok. We gave him some pain/fever reducer and I kept assuring him that it would stop hurting shortly. Off and on he cried ... I guess for another 40 or so mins., until he fell asleep.

He slept only a bit and wound up being up most of the night w/ pain and a medium fever... as well as momma. It was really sweet actually coz throughout the night, I'd hear, "momma", and I'd answer him, only for him to be quiet - but moving his one good leg and arms about - and then I'd hear another, "momma"... I guess to make sure I was awake with him. :) Hashim said it reminded him of me when I really can't sleep coz I'll often wake him to tell 'em I can't sleep... not really sure of what I want or need since his waking wouldn't make my ability NOT to sleep any better.....

And low and behold, my little boy does the same thing :) !!

This morning was very restless w/ his body having muscle spasms from lack of sleep... so he'd go to sleep, sleep for about 30 mins and wake up crying... go back to sleep, sleep for another 20 or so mins., wake up and repeat again. I found myself getting into the same rhythm... since he was sleeping on me and still not able to move his leg.

Around 11, he awoke wanting to watch TV... so I turn on the tube, put on some cartoons as he laid quietly.... I guess around 12:30 or 1, I get him up to try and work out his leg. It was so sweet... he hobbled around w/out putting any real pressure on his leg... reminded me of an old man. :)

He's now better, altho he's still running a fever that peaks every 4 hrs or so, is coughing, sneezing and still having some bad leg pain... but all in all, he's doing a lot better than early this morning... thankfully.

I truly hate these injections... seems like every time he gets them, they either make him sick or make his leg hurt, bruise him or some such. Poor little guy.... hopefully in a few days, it'll all be a distant memory.

this ain't fun....

Me and the baby have been sick for over three wks now, w/ the worst of it hitting us over the last week 1/2. I brought meds w/ me from Bahrain just in case the baby got sick and figured that if I got anything, I could pick up meds here.... or so I thought.

Went to the pharmacist the other day to find out what's best for this crap that's ailing me and she told me to get Mucinex for congestion and coughing and Claridan D for the runny/stopped up nose. I picked up the Mucinex then headed over to the pharmacy area to get the Claridan... seeing that's it kept back there under lock and key. I figured they kept it back there to keep potential drug users from getting ahold of it, but, come to find out from sisterpoo, they just recently made it over the counter - since it used to be by prescription only.

So I wait in line to get up to the counter for what seemed like eternity and when my time finally rolled around, I go up there, ask for it, she gives it to me and then asks to see my identification. I pull out my passport (as I was told I needed it from another pharmacist to get the medicine) and they wouldn't take it. In order for me to get any medicine that's behind the counter, I have to have a valid ID or driver's license from Calif. I was totally miffed, to say the least.

Couldn't believe it really. I told her that I had been told at Walmart that I could get it w/ my passport, but she refused, saying that it's State law that in order for me to obtain this med, I would have to show a valid ID from the State of California.

Here I am sick, needing this med, but can't get it. I came home, told my mom to get her ID. In disbelief that they wouldn't give it to me and cussing under her breath... we start out the door to go and get it, but... just as we're about to leave, sisterpoo gives me some regular Claridan that she has, tells me it's the same and to use it.

So, I used it and am now out. Me and mom, baby and niece are about to head out to try and pick up the infamous "other" medicine, so we shall see if we're allowed to get it. Sometimes the crap that you have to put up with here in the States gets under my skin.

I hate being sick.

Sick of being sick....

One of my blog buddies (Christopher aka Kissyfur aka The Diary of a Lost Boy) recently posted on my Back in Time post and asked if I was sad... I guess I am sad, in a way. Why is it that gay guys always know how to read me?!! Even in the past, they've always known.. it's like they can see right into my soul, and he's no different. Even when I try to hide it... you always know my friend.

So... this is it... or part of it... actually most of it... ;)

Naief has been sick for the last 5 months, off and on, and I feel exhausted physically, emotionally and mentally.

I promised to myself and Hashim that I wouldn't take him to my MILs school again after he got well this past time, but what did I do??? Because everyone was asking me why I don't bring him and such, and not wanting to seem like a bitch - I allowed the woman who works for us to take him there for short periods of time a couple of days last week - thinking that the short periods of time would keep him from catching anything, and it allowed me time to get a few things done, walk on the treadmill, etc. But as my mother pointed out, it's not going there that will make him ill... it's the germs floating around in the air that I need to worry about and the toys... since he wants to put everything into his mouth, and she was right. (I wish my mom was here to give me motherly advice all the time!! or at least not so far away... which is another reason for my sadness, but anyway...)

Needless to say, he got sick again. One of his cousins was deathly sick as well as the housemaid that watches him, and since his mother sends him to the school come hell or high water, every child catches what her child has, and Naief was no different.... and he's been super sick for the last 4 days.

This time it's the worst cold he's had. He has an upper respiratory infection and is having a hard time shaking the fever that is accompanying it... altho today, he seems much better. He can actually breathe outta his nose and he slept thru the night last night, which gave both of us much needed rest.

So... all of this has been taking a major toll on me. Today has been the first day that he's slept/napped w/out insisting on my holding him... and hasn't cried for most of the day... and I feel so thankful.

It's so difficult to see him sick. I can hardly take him having a hard time breathing and hearing him cough... it's tough. The smallest of things will upset him and if I get moody, well... he can feel it and it upsets him, and then it upsets me, so it's like a vicious circle that won't stop revolving around and around and around.

Yesterday (I think it was yesterday), he was downstairs in the kitchen w/ me and I was making dinner. He was on the floor crawling around, playing w/ his toys and then all of a sudden he burst out crying. I ran over to him and he was face down on the tile. My heart leaped... let me tell ya. I picked him up and got a tissue to wipe his eyes and mouth and when I did, there was blood. I looked down at him and there was blood coming from his mouth, which terrified me. All I could think is that he knocked a tooth loose or busted his lip or something.

Thankfully I'm really good at handling extremely stressful situations, so I was able to act fast.

I wiped the blood from his mouth and tried to look in his mouth but he was having nothing of it. I got out the water and gave him a big drink from it - knowing that the cold will help to slow down the blood flow, and then I put him back on my legs and asked to look in his mouth. Usually he won't allow it, but he did (obviously seeing the seriousness in my eyes), and there was blood between his two front teeth, so I took the tissue and had him bite on it and then looked again. I checked his teeth to make sure they weren't loose and then looked at his lips and from what I can tell, it was coming from the little piece of tissue (can't remember what it's called) that connects the lip to the gums...

After a few minutes, it stopped bleeding and he was fine, but my heart wasn't for a while.

Now I find that I'm afraid to even let him crawl around on the floor... but I know things will happen and he's going to get hurt, it's a part of life... but it's hard to see your baby bleeding. Makes me feel like a bad mother.

So... w/ this happening, my falling last week w/ him in my arms and then w/ him being sick again... I have felt like I'm doing something wrong and it's taking the life from me, for the most part or has when I let it...

I've started walking w/ him in the mornings and it seems to be helping both of us. Figuring the sun and fresh air will do him and mommy good, and since the weather is getting much cooler, I'm out trying to take full advantage of it, and think I'll continue doing it most mornings. Since he's waking up at 5:30 or 6 every morning... it gives both of us plenty of time to do things like this. And... it's helping my mood, so that's a plus, and he seems better today, so that's another plus.

On a lighter and more positive note, he has stopped crying in his highchair and is now eating w/out a problem... I think it was a phase and working him back into the routine of eating there, and he has also stopped crying in his stroller. We're able to walk for more than 40 mins without him having a problem... YAH!!! And he has started cruising along furniture or is starting to go there - taking little baby steps in that direction. He also participates in peek a boo and will slap me five... it's sooo cute!!