Wednesday, November 01, 2006

My BIGGGGGG secret :)

Over the last few months, actually months ago, I mentioned that I had a secret but couldn't tell it. Not sure if anyone picked up on it because I was somewhat coy about it, and then a few blogs ago, I talked about keeping secrets and how well ppl could keep secrets and such. My sister was dying to tell my secret and has been pressing me for months to tell my secret... but I didn't and now I will.

I didn't for many reasons, which I'll get to in a few. I guess the big thing now is to open up and spill the beans.

Well.... I am pregnant. :)

Six months to be exact. I started the first week of my 6th month this week.

Many may wonder why I kept it a secret for so long... probably thinking me a bit strange, but there are reasons behind it. Reasons that I don't really agree w/, but because I have respect for those around me and because you just never really know, I kept it a secret.

I think a lot of my blogging as of late is based on my pregnancy. I wrote about adoption and even had one blog friend ask me why I didn't want children... she didn't know about my pregnancy. That's why I chose that topic to write about. Yeah, a long time ago, I didn't want kids as I said in my post... never thought I'd have kids matter of fact, but low and behold... I'm gonna have a baby! :)

First off, it's a HUGE taboo here or there's so much superstition surrounding childbirth in this part of the world, that anyone and everyone will tell you not to tell a soul that you're expecting until you're well past your 3rd month. Then, after my third month, I had my MIL telling me not to tell anyone until after my 5th month... now I have her telling me not to buy anything for the baby until after my 6th month. It all causes me a headache and because I'm American and childbirth is a HUGE deal in the States, something that is celebrated w/ parties, lots of talk w/ girlfriends, and all that jazz, it was been so difficult for me not to tell anyone.

I've told my family... and have only now told a few close friends of mine. The reason behind this is that I was pregnant last Sept. and had a miscarriage which caused me a lot of emotional distress for many months and I think, on my part, there was a lot of fear surrounding this pregnancy and the fear that if I got too excited about it and told, I'd sure enough lose the baby. Plus, soon enough ppl will see that you're having a baby, so I figured when that time came, I'd then let my friends know. Well..... that time is here!! :)

It's weird because now I can sorta explain all the absense of memory that I've had over recent months (and some who have wondered w/ my blog comments that I've left on their sites can understand this - so many times I'd draw a complete blank w/ things) - which is a common occurance w/ pregnant women, my mood swings (which have been plenty, believe me) and pissy attitude at times, my cleaning freak attitude that has hit me over the last month (this is the nesting stage my sister tells me), my many blogs about things of the past and memories of childhood fun, all the things that I've found in my things at home that I've kept over the years, all my girlie posts... and so on and so on. This has all been because of my little hidden secret.

Here, in the ME, and even in other countries like India, Mexico and such, there is this thing called evil eyes. I was told that my last miscarriage was because of this (and many tried to say it was because of our cats!!), and for anyone who has experienced such a thing and is foreign to it like myself, it can come as quite a shock to the system and even frighten you to a point that you're afraid of your own shadow. Well... this has been a big part of not telling as well. I guess w/in the last month though, I've become quite impatient w/ the whole evil eyes thing and have pressed my husband for weeks to just get on w/ it and that I'm gonna let the news out. So, today, is the day... the day to put it out there.

So... Puppy... here are my happy thoughts! :) I'm pregnant. :) I'm going to have a baby and I'm really happy. So happy that my emotions get the best of me and my eyes are tearing up as I'm writing this.

That's the thing w/ pregnancy, you can cry at the drop of a hat and I do. ;) My emotions have been crazy. One minute you're happy, the next you're sad, the next you're mad. My husband has loved it, believe you me. ;)

Me... well, when I first found out, I was thrilled, elated and almost in a fantasy type of world w/ it, then reality set in and I got serious about it. I worry a lot.... about all sorts of things really, so you can imagine my life. It's getting better now, since months ago I decided to put my worries in God's hands and not flip out over the stupidest things (altho I still do)... but it's better.

My sister will be overjoyed that I'm finally saying something on my blog. She's so happy and we chat all the time about it. I'm so glad I have her in my life to talk about this w/... she has a 6 yr old and wrote everything down when she was pregnant, so she likes to whip out the 'ole baby book and tell me this and that whenever I have a question. Altho, sometimes this makes me very lonely and fills me w/ longing to be close to my family in the States. I've been having a lot of this lately... I think cuz it's getting close and I'm starting to panic a little about all the formal things and the needs of the baby. There are just so many things and you think you know everything and think "oh, how hard can this be".... UNTIL, it's your turn. :)

So... there's a lot that to write about and I'm sure I will now and again, but I'll try not to overload my blog w/ it... cuz I do love to write about all the demented stuff that comes into my mind! ;)

46 comments:

The Moody Minstrel said...

Hey, Tooners (and Alfanan)...

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!

I pray everything goes smoothly...and no evil eyes!!!!! (But keep the cats. Definitely keep the cats.)

Peceli and Wendy's Blog said...

Wow! Wow! Wow! That explains a lot! And after that post about adoption, I'm sorry if I said the wrong thing!
How fabulous. Keep up your walking and fitness, girl.
No wonder you wrote about obsessions about a clean house - it's the nesting instinct thing.
Very best wishes,
Wendy

Puppy said...

CONGRATULATIONS TOONERS and of course ALFANAN. I wish everything will go well with you, pregnancy, delivery, and u will have a healthy baby, inshallah.

GO GIRL!!!!

Princess Ambiguous said...

Congrats to you both, that's great news! It must be an immensely exciting time for you both :)

Reem said...

Congratulations tooners! best wishes for a healthy baby and mother.

Olivia at Work said...

Congratulations! This explains a lot of what you have been blogging about lately. And to think only the other day you said about children "when that time comes around" and I remember thinking, "Well, when???"

So I am so glad for you!

As soon you said, "secret", I knew! A few weeks ago I got an email from a friend entitled "Good news" and I knew. She was so excited she told us when she was only about 4 weeks! She is now 7 weeks. She had a miscarriage last year too.

A couple of us have offered to go round and buckle her shoes for her and feed her peeled grapes ;)
But obviously you are too far away for me to do that! ;)

But I would if I could.

Wishing you and Alfanan all the best for your coming joy!

bint battuta said...

Congratulations! I can't believe you have managed to keep it secret for so long! Mabrooook!

tooners said...

thanks everyone! :) i'm very happy, scared, nervous, anxious, thrilled... just so many emotions rolled into one. pregnancy is a strange thing, in that you just can't imagine until you do it. i'm now feeling the baby kick a lot and it's a glorious thing. :)

wendy, no worries at all... you didn't offend me and you said nothing wrong. i only wished i could have said something and wanted to sooooo bad, but i just decided to wait. :) and yes, i'm having TONS of obsessions... it's really unbelievable what you do and what you're capable of when pregnant. and as far as fitness... i haven't done hardly anything because of my drs. fears of having another miscarriage but i'm about to start. i've gained too much weight, but am starting an exercise program this month for pregnant women and will start walking now. i hope that after the birth, the weight will come off w/ good nutrition and extreme exercise! ;)

olivia, you'd tie my shoes and feed me grapes??? now, ain't that sweet!!! my husband doesn't even do that! ;) thanks for your sweet thoughts... and really, i was wondering if anyone was getting the clue... i tried giving hints every now and then cuz it was killing me not to say anything!

bint battula, oh believe me... it was killing me... i didn't realize i was as good as i am at keeping secrets! ;)

moody, puppy, princess, and reem, thank you all so much. it's nice to be able to finally say something and share it w/ everyone. it's hard keeping something like this to yourself. inshallah, my next three months go smoothly and the birthing process is a breeze... i so hope! ;)

Alfanan said...

Thank you guys :) Your kind words are truly a blessing. I do pray that everything will go smoothly.

Moody You know, my dreams are starting to fire up now. I don't remember most of them, but I do remember having them more frequently than I've ever had.

Thank you all. Really appreciate everything you said. ;)

Mahmood Al-Yousif said...

Been there, done that, and bought the t-shirt three times already, but I can tell you both that you will remember the oddest thing about this first child that in time you will just look at each other and crack up without even having to speak one word to each other. Trust me, been there too!

I pray that your blessed pregnancy will go smoothly, and that you will get the most intelligent, beautiful and bloody obedient child who does their homework on time without your having to shout your lungs out at them every time they sit glued to the tv and they purposely remove the batteries from the remote control so that YOU don't change the channel to the news!

:) :) ;)

Anonymous said...

Tooners congratulations!!Mashaallah!Mashallah ! mashaallah!
being there and feeling your baby is the most beautiful experience.I remeber when Sara kick me lol. Enjoy it! Enjoy it.. Enjoy it! ... May
God bless you , bless your hubby baby and home!! hugs !

Rambling Hal said...

Mabrouk! ALF ALF mabrouk - your joy just shines through your post and I can't help but feel so so happy for you, though I don't even know you! I'll pray for you, for your baby, your family, your safe delivery and the arrival of the most perfect pundle of joy, with the right ten fingers and the right ten toes :) May the pregnancy blogging begin!

MSB said...

Congratulations!! That's great news =) Best of luck..

Anonymous said...

I feel for you that you lost your first baby through miscarriage... and I pray for you that this second baby is born healthy...

As the (ex)'foreign'partner of a Bahraini man, (one not unfamiliar to yourselves)I was given the 'option' of keeping our child but going it alone, or to abort 'it', as the man I thought I loved, but suddenly didn't know, couldn't bear to make way for something that might intrude in his ambitions, he couldn't make way for the new life created in our bed. Now, a few years later, this man is now enjoying success in his life... but I'm a believer in Karma.... Sorry if I've darkened the day... I am really genuinely happy for you guys. And Tanya... I guessed almost two months ago that you were 'blooming'... it suits you!

gazza27 said...

Congradulations to you's both i hope all goes well.

mangey cur said...

Yay! Congrats you two! xx

tooners said...

anon, i'm not sure who you are, and i feel for your pain because miscarriage is a difficult thing and for someone not to want the child - that's a difficult situation, but thank you for the congrats. did you know i was 'blooming' from my post or do you know me? ;) well, i think i can answer my own question cuz if you know me, you would have known months ago, more than likely.

rambling hal, hi! nice to see you here and thank you, thank you, thank you! :)

mahmood, w/ the way i was as a child and the hubby... gosh, i can only imagine the difficulty we'll have w/ the little bugger! he'll be one stubborn soul, that is FOR SURE! ;)

mrs dynamite, thank you my dear! feeling the kicking is so wonderful... to know there's a life inside of you... it's magical. :) my sister says the same thing, "enjoy it" because it'll be over very soon. shoot, i can hardly believe that six months has already passed. in no time, the baby will be here.

msb, gazza27, and mangey cur, thank you guys!!! mangey, i didn't even know you read my blog!!

i feel very blessed.. thank you all for your sweet thoughts and prayers. it means the world to me.

tooners said...

oh and moody, i'd NEVER get rid of our cats... NEVER, NEVER, NEVER!!! i've been told to, but it'll never happen. it's like i've given birth to all these cats, but some just don't understand! ;)

and.. the hubby is talking about dreams... wow, dreams are incredible when you're pregnant. i have some of the weirdest and wildest dreams.

Mrs Dynamite aka Lorena +Wonder Women said...

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL I had the same dreams they where very wird wild !hahahahhaahah YUP thats the pregnancy LOL I remeber some times taking a shower and strat crying on the shower and then laugth at me coz i was crying wahahaha can you belive it? what about the cravings? you know what i love to drink? orange juice with SALT ! wahahahahahah OH Tonners Im sooooooo happy for you wallahy frommy heart and I can feel the happines you have!! enjoy it enjoy it! and start shopping! :) you will find very cute things and please if you have a baby shower invite me ! I love babyshowers! hugs!

Lorena

tooners said...

mrs dynamite, aaaah, how i'd LOVE to have a baby shower, but NO ONE does them here. when my SIL had her baby, i tried to get her to let me do one, but she wouldn't. i don't understand it.

me too... i cry like that too. gosh, i can be riding in the car and just tear up for no reason. when we went to see The Devil Wears Prada, i started crying in that movie. my husband laughed at me.

you know, i try to get into your blog, but i can't leave a message and it takes me into another window. i'll try again. it could be my work computer... so i'll try from home.

tooners said...

aaahhh, and the cravings... i love that you craved orange juice w/ salt. you sound like me!!! i love sweets and will make deserts like crazy and mostly i crave american food like mashed potatoes and recently it's been macaroni and cheese. ummm.. just thinking of the orange juice w/ salt makes my mouth water!!! :) yum yum

Olivia at Work said...

My mother craved Lifebuoy soap...of course she never ate any, but she wanted to. It is a sort of old fashioned medicated soap.

Anonymous said...

This is amazing news, I'm so happy for you guys, and wish you both the best! So when should I expect to see the little tykes blog pop up on the net, knowing you two I doubt it's going to take long to indoctrinate him/her into the scene!

Ingrid said...

Dearest Tooners what a great surprise!! Do not let the superstitions of others dictate you or influence you you hear? Miscarriages are pretty common actually (I had two in the last 15 yrs but also have two beautiful children) and after your third month, no way is something going to happen like that. Happy news!! Isn't it funny how your brain becomes 'woozy' and you think, 'wait, what did I want to say/do again??' LOL.. all part of it, it gives you another dimension of how things change your body and it's all good!! You just get a different feel of how your body functions and is effected. I'm very happy and excited for both of you (kisses!!) and if I need to keep you on track thinking the sober non superstitious Western way, I will. You have enough emotions to deal with without that stuff being put on you, tsa!
Are you going to have an ultrasound sometime? I had one when I think I was 4mos.
Girl, I can't believe it. I'm looking at the 'bigggg secret' title to my left and think wow..that definitely was one. Are you not showing yet? Mind you , with my first, I hardly showed until I was about 6mos (not with my second), or do you wear an abaya that covers it?
Hurray hurray..good news in this world of yucky news! Ok, I need to not take a happy pill (wink wink) but a seriously chill pill!
hugs and kisses, welcome to the world of wonders!
Ingrid

Alfanan said...

MoClippa,

What happened to your blog bro? I can't access it for some reason.

tooners said...

olivia, one thing that happens almost immediately is your sense of smell. it's amazing. i wonder what it was about the soap that got her taste buds roaring. very interesting. i know i can smell things that bother me. i walk in the house and can smell stuff and turn disgusted immediately.

moclippa, :) you know, i can only imagine how soon the baby will be playing on the computer and w/ video games! thank you for your comments... i've been wondering about you and wondered where your blog went. i've tried accessing w/ no luck.

ingrid, oh believe me... the superstition thing bugs me. i try to ignore it but sometimes it gets the best of me. your body does change in amazing ways... you can't imagine until you get pregnant. my miscarriage was nothing related to evil eyes, even tho ppl tried telling me that. it also wasn't because of our cats. women have miscarriages every day... i realize this and know this but some don't. yes, i had an ultrasound a month ago. saw the baby's lips, nose... everything. it was soooo sweet. and yes, i'm showing big time. i've gained a lot of weight because my dr. wouldn't allow me to do a lot in the beginning so i stayed in bed a lot which resulted in my gaining sooooo much weight. but... as long as the baby's healthy, then i can deal w/ the weight gain after the birth. again, thank you for all your sweet comments. kisses my dear.

Olivia said...

Yes, she said the smell of cooking lamb (which she usually loves) put her right off when she was pregnant.

She had about 6 miscarriages, including one or two after me. So she had to stay in bed but I still fell out at 27 weeks! She never produced enough estrogen, they said. I think she was too skinny, which as you can see I'm not (anymore) so I doubt I'll have the same problem ;)

Why all this going on? Well I just saw the cutest baby on the TV and rather than blog about it I thought I'd come here to go on a bit!

This is all I will say for now, for fear of making this another long one.

Say hello to Baby for me :)
x

Girl, Interrupted said...

OH MY GOD!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!! It truly is an amazing thing - to be pregnant that is... not that I have tried, but OH MY GOD - I'M SOOOO HAPPY FOR YOUUUUUUUUUU!!!!! Congratulations!!!!!
Lots and lots of love!!

Anonymous said...

Yeah, it was stupid but I got a little upset with the blog and ripped it apart... I'm still usually jumping around the Bahrain blogs though, even if I don't always comment I'm pretty much always on reading!

jahooni said...

Gosh...... I am crying so much, I can't type. Hello everyone, Its me (the sister)!

I love you so very much Tooners and your hubby too! I am so happy to have a nephew or neice (hymmmn, can we say what it is? j/k)

I just wish I was there to feel your tummy and everying else "aunties" do! I want to come over now, can I? I think I need it.

Gosh, I am shocked that I wasn't the first to respond to your bolg BUT I was the first to know, so ther everyone :-) He Hee Hee

I can't wait and I can't stop crying. Congrats ALL THE WAY and you both will make the most incredable parents! You have my blessings and my (secrets ;) )

tooners said...

olivia, i'm the same way w/ smell. i can't stand the smell of meat and actually can't eat a lot of meats w/out becoming totally disgusted w/in a matter of minutes. i liked fish pretty much before but now I can hardly eat it, which isn't good for me on Fridays cuz we go to the hubby's family's house on fridays for lunch and what do they serve??? FISH!!! yuk. i can't stand it. i'm also really bad w/ perfumes and such... hence my post about perfumes! ;) i love all the baby talk, so you don't have to worry about not posting long posts... plus, i think i'll post another thing today about all the different things that happen to ya... not that anyone will find it appealing... except maybe us girls. and oh... you look great. that bunny costume was the best. and you look really good in your jeans!! wish i had a tush like that! ;)

girl, interrupted, thank you sooooo much. you're sweet and i appreciate your sweet comments!! :)

moclippa, you're funny. i figured something happened, but i didn't think you'd rip the thing up. well, i'll miss it. i always enjoyed reading your stories and all the music stuff. maybe one day soon, you'll do another. :)

tooners said...

miss jahooni, my dear sister... i just saw your post. you are so special and you mean the world to me. i wish you were here too. i wish we lived across the street from each other but then again, that might be too close! ;)

you should feel the baby kicking. it's so sweet. last night, i think HE (yes, we're having a boy) was doing water aerobics or tae bo. for like 3 solid hours, he was up and kicking. makes me wonder what it'll be like when that day comes and he's here in front of us.

i love you so much too and i want you to come... so get your passport... so you can be the first to see the baby!!! :)

Thursday said...

Congratulations - happy news indeed!!

Olivia at Work said...

Oh what a shame to go off fish, it could be sooooo good for you right now.
So what can you eat?

Even my landlady told me I was doing the voluptuous thing now, as she went down the stairs behind me the other day! For a girl my size I've always had quite a decent tush, which made up for nothing up front, but now this is getting a bit much.

Ooh I will say no more before I embarrass myself!

Do you play Hubby's music to Baby?

tooners said...

olivia, i was thinkng about you today at lunch and it struck me suddenly that your mother gave birth at 27 wks! a while back when we were all talking about this on someone's blog, it didn't hit me how early that was, but it does now big time. that's only 3 wks from now for me. i can't imagine it and can only imagine the stress of that on your mother and father. you were very lucky and now i see what all you were saying and such.

i had fish today and did ok w/ it. i eat chicken mainly as long as it doesn't have a wild taste, and i eat *some* lamb, but not a lot. i eat beef - it doesn't bother me at all. i love salmon so i think i'm gonna get some of that and fix it and see how i do w/ it. i just don't like this fried fish they do on fridays or hamour... i don't like it.

and yes, i've played the hubbies music for the baby. we have an iPod and i put little headphones on each side of my belly and play his music, music from Gladiator and other instrumental pieces. i read that new age is the best because it's what sounds like the mother's heartbeat or keeps the same beat or similar... so that's good to hear. it says not to play rock tho, which is fine by me.

i think you look great my dear. great bod you're working with! ;) :)

and thursday, thank you. :)

IRC President said...

Mabrook :)

May God grant you a beautiful healthy baby :D

Olivia said...

Oh how sweet of you to think of me :)

I can imagine fried fish would be harder to face than, say, steamed or poached or grilled....

Yes, the beat of rock would be disturbing. Don't forget to play Mozart, the structure is great for baby's brain.

It was stressful for my parents as you say. They wanted to delay labour for about a week to develop my lungs, but Mum only made it a ouple of days nd they were pumping her full of steroids to hasten the lung developemnt.

I was in the incubator from April to June and my parents visited me every day. Mum can't remember how Dad found the time to go to work!
My mum produced so much milk that it was used for the other babies in the ward, most of whose parents didn't visit often. (Remember it was nearly 30 years ago!)
Dad bought her a little silver bell necklace and called her Daisy :P

As for me, I was so little and lazy that I'd do a couple of tiny sucks and fall asleep. So it was a tube for me, mostly. Anyway, point with the tush is that I was SO skinny my whole life through not eating and swallowing, basically. I didn't have an appetite until 1986 (I remember the actual day) and even then it was reluctant.

I didn't start eating properly till I was 12, and it really started when we moved to Texas in 89.

But I didn't start gaining weight properly till I was 21. In the four years since returning to London, I can actually say I have been training my stomach more intensively, like eating when I am not hungry, eating a bit extra or late at night, even eating stuff I don't really like.

Obviously, I am reaching the age where I can ease up on that now :)

By the way, what happened to Alfanan's blog?

Have a great weekend!
x

gazza27 said...

Hey Tooners that stuff about cravings reminded my when my mrs,joan was pregnant she had a craving for oranges and used to take them to bed with her and eat them through the night when she woke up,i tell ye,it was weird waking up when its dark and you can smell fresh oranges lol

Anonymous said...

wow, 6 months is a long time to keep such a secret!

TechZ said...

omg, omg, omg, how did I miss this!

Congrats a million timesover!

Hope it all goes as smoothly as possible and you have a healthy wonderul baby!

Also, not sure about local customs, but people from India/Pakistan are more than glad to announce a new baby!

This is by far the best news of the year!

:D :D :D

Anonymous said...

Hey let us make one! let us make one babyshower! I love baby showers! yeah Tooners lets do it! ... http://random-thoughts-of-me.blogspot.com/ here is my site I hope you can enter this time! we can make it in my house! let me know and if you really want to have one we can organized here in my house! :)

Lisa said...

I am so happy for you! Congratulations!!! I can't imagine keeping that a secret for so long. I wish you the best, and don't even think about the evil eye, its a horrible tradition.

Thanks for sharing with the blogging world your secret... i look forward to many more pregnancy/baby stories!

tooners said...

first, mrs dynamite, you're soooo sweet to want to throw me a baby shower. it touches my heart. my only concern would be if anyone would really want to come to such a thing, since bahrainis don't do these. i wonder how many ppl would be interested, especially since i offered to throw showers for two of my SILs and both declined and not seeming at all interested. what are your thoughts? again, i've tried getting into your blog today, even thru bahrain blogs, and i still can't see any posts. i will try again at home since my connection has been messed up all day at work.

gazza27, yummmm, the oranges and night sound delish! i can imagine what it must have smelled like though. i've been known to keep them by the bed and eat if i get sick to my stomach... but that sick feeling went away at about 4 mths. pregnant women do funny things! :)

olivia, so mozart is supposed to be good. think i'll give that a try this evening. i'll let ya know how the baby responds. i can only imagine how tiny you've been all your life. one of my brother's was a premie and it affected him when he was small but he's a big guy now. if you saw him, you'd never think he was born at 6 mths. giving birth early is a scary thought, even nowadays w/ so much technology. one of my husband's friends' sisters is in the hospital having early contractions and she's only ahead of me by a couple of wks. it freaked my husband out and now he insists that i don't climb the stairs at home... which is hard becuause the kitchen is downstairs.

techz, thank you!! :)

chris in mb, six months is a terribly long time to keep such a secret. i don't recommend it to anyone! ;)

lisa, thank you my dear. i agree, evil eyes, aren't something i agree w/ and i don't think it's healthy to believe in such. i'm not one for such superstitious stuff. hope, when they come, that you enjoy the baby posts. :)

Khalid said...

Many congrats from me, wish you all the best :).

I'd have to say though that I already knew, I think Mahmood blew your cover hehe.

Anonymous said...

Heheheh No worries my friend! I have many no bahranis friends! .. Just tell me you want it? and we make IT!! :) write me loreesp@hotmail.com .. so i can give you my celphone! :) we have to make it soon girl !

One Wink at a Time said...

Tooners! I haven't visited in about a week and LOOK WHAT I MISSED! I'm very very happy for you and wish you the very best of everything. It had to be SO hard to keep this a secret, you must have been bursting!