Thursday, October 26, 2006

faraway thoughts

been on vacation for the last week - during the Eid holiday and it's been quite nice. haven't touched the computer until today.... been keeping my days busy w/ things around the house. i've been doing a late spring cleaning of sorts... yeah, ok, i know it's oct., but it's like spring here! ;) why is it that i always have so much more energy to do this stuff when i'm not working during the day??? not that working wears me out by any means but there's just something about being at home that energizes me.

our flowers outside are in bloom, some things i planted last year have spread and sprouted so many flowers... it's just so lovely, and the weather is getting cooler ... soooo... what better way to celebrate than to clean! yeah, i can think of better ways to celebrate too, but the cleaning bug has hit me in a big way and i'm glad for it. today, i went thru the cupboards downstairs and there were sooooooo many things that had expired and needed to be thrown away. believe it or not, i still had things that i brought over from the u.s. three years ago. i thought that a lot of things had been thrown away already but after sitting there this morn. and pulling it all out onto the floor, i realized how much hadn't been done.

now, after organizing and throwing away everything, the cupboards look so much better and are finally organized. i'm sorta a freak about organizing and such - it's that virgo side of me - so you can only imagine how i feel having it all neat and tidy. ;)

before ramadan was up, we went to break the fast at one of the novatel restaurants and me and the hubby found ourselves talking non-stop about how undisciplined the children were that night. honestly, i don't know why parents get chairs for their kids - they aren't made to sit and eat. i would say that over 50% of the parents there that night were allowing their kids to have full run of the place... basically, all the kids were acting like little yard apes. this is something i've never understood. i wasn't allowed to do this as a child and won't allow my child to do this, and know if i were working at one of these places, i WOULD NOT want to watch someone else's kid as they tried their best to tear the place up, all the while the parents are sitting and chatting at their tables - not noticing or pretending not to notice a damn thing that their child/children are doing. not once did i see a parent get up and tend to their child... it was all the wait staff running around trying to make the kids behave themselves, which is an impossible task w/ some kids.

one family even allowed their two boys to go outside and since the pool was right in front of the restaurant, i wondered, when we were leaving, how that family would feel if something happened and one of those boys fell into the pool or something. i wondered how long it would take for one of the adults to get outside and possibly help save that child's life if need be, and i even said something to the children as they were shoving each other next to the pool (when we were leaving), but it went unnoticed.

another little boy even took it upon himself to rearrange all the stemware on some of the unoccupied tables while his parents, who were sitting behind us, looked on and said not a word. some little girls were even playing tag - running up and down the steps, and round and round the tables. FINALLY, their parents made them sit down and behave, but since we left not shortly after that, i wondered how long it would be until they were up and at it again.

the society here is one that has a hard time saying "no" to their children. my SIL has already taught her son this. he gets whatever he wants and he's learned rather quickly that if he screams enough, he'll get whatever he so chooses and he's only one 1/2 yrs old. i notice this all the time w/ ppl. even today i saw a little boy having a fit when his father took something away from him... he sat there and screamed until his father gave it back to him and when the father did, the little boy stopped screaming.

i don't know... but this is something i won't allow. i fully believe in setting limits and
not allowing a child to control the house. too many ppl allow their children to rule them. they do whatever it takes to please the child, but i sit and wonder what happened to the way things used to be?! why are so many kids totally outta control nowadays?? is it because of this instant gratification type of socity that sets endless boundaries for their kids? as i sit here and think about this, i wonder what it'll be like when these kids get older. they'll expect everything to be handed to them on a silver platter but life just doesn't work like that... or it didn't for me. maybe we'll just have large corporations filled w/ adult babies who get down on the floor and have temper tantrums until they get what they want.... hahahahah .... imagine!


Olivia said...

Ah, don't get me started on undisciplined kids. The British newspapers just discovered this week that Britain is the only society in Europe that is afraid of its youth. As in victimology.

I think it said about 60-odd percent of Germans or French would interfere with a group of teens that were misbehaving. Italians ranked lower, but barely 34% of Brits would intervene. Sad. To this day they probably go "None of my business" or "boys will be boys" both of which phrases have annoyed me since I can remember! And so why do you think the UK suffers from a yob culture, hooligans, and anti-social behaviour.

Leilouta said...

I am with you 100%. I don't understand why parents have to say yes or pay attention to every single tear from their kids.I truly believe that it is ok for your one year old to have his own room to sleep in. I wouldn't run there for each cry. Bed time is bed time.
Actually, I did that once when I was baby-sitting two very young children. I put them to bed for a nap and to my surprise they didn't scream or cry for 15 minutes straight,so I went to their room to make sure everything was OK :)

Anonymous said...


I can totally relate with your post, and with the father of the 1.5 yr old that you mentioned. I too, am blessed with a 2 year old. She is very sweet, but very tempermental. If she wants something, she will cry until she gets it. Now, it is very easy for us to say "no, ignore her...set limits etc. etc." but believe me, after a long day at work, and 20 mins on non-stop crying, you just want the kid to shut their trap! Now, imagine this scenario being carried out on an almost daily basis. Yes, you get the picture. It is very easy for us parents to just succumb to their needs, even though we must not! As determined as my wife and I are to "set limits" and "ignore", our patience can only run for so long. Anyway, your post serves as a reminder to all parents, myself included, to just "say no" and fight the good fight!!

tooners said...

anon, i can understand what you're saying but i disagree w/ you. i think once you start this practice of giving in, it never stops. i studied psychology w/ an emphasis in child psychology and do not believe that it's helping the child whatsoever to allow them to go on w/ such behavior.

i understand the working schedule, but still, a child needs limits. i think it comes down to not giving in, no matter how much the child screams, because, believe me, the child knows that if they scream long enough and loud enough, you will give in. the behavior or giving in should have not happened in the first place - i'm a big supporter of this. i think this gives the child the impression they can get whatever they want, no matter what.

i think a parent has to say no. it has to be done, no matter what... even if the child screams and screams. leave your daugther to her own stuff... get a play pin and let her play and if she throws a fit, let her throw the fit. soon enough, when she sees that it doesn't work, it will stop. but this is the difficult side... if you and your wife are willing to do this....

i don't know if you watch it, but you guys should try watching The Nanny that comes on MBC 4 in the afternoons. it could give you a lot of info on how to handle certain situations... you might like it.

i know raising a child is difficult and soon enough i will find out... so i'm sure it won't be as easy as i'm hoping, but i do insist on being firm and setting limits. no matter if others disagree and others don't make their child mind.. i will be one that does this.