Thursday, November 29, 2007

What to do, what to do?!!

What pretty blue eyes on this baby, huh?!! This picture makes me think of your God Daughter, Olivia.

I chose this pic because Naief has started to bite. At first it started as a teething thing. I thought it would pass, but it's actually gotten worse. It started a couple of months back with him getting ahold of my clothes and pulling back on them, but now it's full fledged biting.

He's not biting anyone else or anything... it's not like that, it's just momma. He tried to bite daddy's leg the other night, but usually it's when I'm holding him and he's frustrated, excited or agitated. The other night he almost drew blood.

They say not to pull back when it happens, but it's really hard. Your natural reflex is to pull away from it, but lemme tell ya... it hurts! He's gotten ahold of my index finger a couple of times - yes, it's my fault for putting it in his mouth - and the last time I thought he broke the skin.. but he didn't.

I think the problem is that I laughed the first time and thought it was cute. Since then, he thinks it's a game. Or, until recently.

A few weeks ago I tried biting him back. Not hard or anything, but just to show him that it hurts. He cried and it broke my heart. So I only tried that twice. Then I got upset and would hold him away from me, looking right in his eyes and told him sternly, "no biting mommy". A few times he cried. After telling my friend, Puppy, about it, she gave me an idea. She was a biter as a little girl and her mother used to always tell her, "no biting, give me kisses" and it seemed to work. So over the last few days, I've been doing that. It seems to work for the most part.

Altho today he's been biting a little more than usual. Earlier today, he got ahold of me and I calmly and gently said, "no biting love, give me kisses" and then I kissed him. Boy, he watches my eyes like a hawk! He watches my every emotion... that's why I'm staying very calm w/ him. It's hard though... especially when he gets you really bad. But I've noticed that if I get upset, he'll go right back to get me again.

So, do you any of you seasoned mothers or parents out there have any good advice for me? I don't want Naief getting bigger and biting other children. I hope that this is only a phase that he'll grow out of .... we shall see.


Some really great news. Me and Naief will be traveling to the States around Dec. 10th to visit my family. I'm soooo excited, but a little nervous. I'm gonna get some meds from the dr. to help Naief sleep, but he's not good about sitting in one place for a long time, which makes me a bit anxious at the thought of traveling for so many hours and how he'll do, and what I'll entertain him with... I guess I'll have to take lots of little toys, books and such.

This trip will be different for me. I'm a mother now. Before, me and my younger sis have had our arguments.... sometimes even to the point that we could strangle each other... but I think w/ my being a new mother and her working full time, things will be different. She loves babies and is dying to meet Naief and my mom.. well, she didn't think I'd ever have a baby. I can't wait for her to meet him. Brings tears to my eyes just to think that I'll be there in a couple of weeks!


Hmmmm... what else. Well, one of our cats got out and is gone. I realized it Sunday morning and panicked. He was a yellow tabby cat, and so incredibly sweet. His name was/is Wilson. We got him w/ his two sisters about 2 yrs ago, if that long, and they're all so loving and gentle. I just can't believe he's gone. I've called for him... went out today w/ the baby and hoped that I'd see him, but nothing.

I don't even know when he got out or how. The woman who works for us sometimes lets the outside cats in and she's let our cats out a couple of times, and she's also left windows open... so maybe he got out from an open window. He also looks just like the outside cat, Tigger, so maybe she put Wilson out by mistake. I don't know. I'm worried and have come to conclusion that he won't be coming home. He knew nothing of the outdoors really. Nothing of cars and staying safe... and nothing of the wild dogs that roam our neighborhood at night.

Last weekend I heard the dogs outside barking like crazy and figured it was a cat they were after... maybe it was Wilson.

I just hope, if he's alive, he finds his way home. I really hope to see him again. He was such a sweet boy.. even tho he'd pee on things he wasn't supposed to... I still really loved him. It makes me sad.

I swear... I have 8 more little tragedies to live thru.... 10 if you count the outside cats.


Rock Chef said...

Biting can become a huge, huge problem, so it is best to stop it in its tracks right now.

There are times when you will have to be a serious "don't mess with me" parent and now is the time to start - look him in the eye, "bite me and I WILL bite you back, harder". You don't have to actually DO it, but the threat should have the effect you want. He may cry, but you are the parent, you are in charge, he will get over it.

Um Naief said...

rock chef, that's exactly what i'm afraid of. his cousins who are both almost 3 are biters, and they draw blood. one bites children at the preschool all the time. both children have had no discipline whatsoever, so i'm hoping that because naief will have it, that it'll be different. i do think you're right in being strict, but you know, when i used this method, he started to do it more... it was almost as if he was going to show me. i've had to pull him from me more than 5 times at one point... one right after another and tell him no.

Puppy said...


I am leaving in 1.5 hrs to Bucharest, just wanted to say, dont bite him more, try to be patient and try to explain, show him kind of "play" showing that biting is bad, involve Hashim. If u will bite him more he will not understand why you are doing it, and will get angry on u even more, for caused pain.

So happy for your travel, ITS SO GREAT. gosh i had so much stress today, tickets to Thailand was all booked, i even thought of going to Dubai, but then found a ticket through Vienna with high price, and will go there, very very soon.

I will be back before you will go, i wish you to have a safe flight. everything will be fine, inshallah. I wish the cat will find his way back home.

Take care, sorry for messy comment, really in hurry. I need to pack my computer.

All the best and everything will be ok, very soon. Believe me.



Jahooni said...

I think it's a stage and it will pass... but if it doesn't stop soon I agree with ROCK CHEF, PUT A STOP TO IT however or whatever it takes...

I can not believe you will be here in just a couple weeks. I am nervous and excited and all the emotions are rumbeling around in my tummy! Let's try our hardest to make it the best.

I will get you a gym pass next week, for a month. We can take the kids with us and they can play in the nursery. Gosh, there is so much we can do this time... but having the money is another thing!

Can't wait, dear sister... counting down. said...

reminds me of our dog... we once let him out to play; he does that every now and then, goes for a run around the neighbourhood.. he never came back; we figure some kids stole him :(

Olivia said...

Yow! If I taught my bunny to kiss instead of biting, then there's hope for Naief. "Uh-uh" means "no" in rabbit speak, so every time she turned her head to me and got that glint in her eye, I'd say Uh-uh! The first time I tried it, she stopped and reconsidered - you could hear the wheels turning in her brain, and then to my surprise she licked me instead! I tell you what, I was tickled pink!

It's sweet that you remember Jada - yes, those shockingly blue eyes! I guess you can't forget them once you've seen them.

I'm excited too that you will go see your family in the US. I imagine Jahooni is over the mooni :P and Naief will get to meet his cousin. I hope this is the first of many visits.

And finally, I bet your cat went out looking for your bird.

Gardens of Sand said...

Try a firm tap with your finger on his mouth or back of his hand with a firm no-no, you do not bite mommy will work. No smiles later or hugging. Be consistent.

Maybe he is just teething and his gums ache/itch and biting on something helps ease the discomfort. Give him some teething toy or something.

My nephew is 19 months old and what works best when he misbehaves is the naughty corner although Naief is too young.

I am so excited for you! Dec 10, huh. Enjoy and have tons of fun. If you happen to be on the east coast, let me know.