well, it's 3:06 a.m. and i'm awake. went to the dr. yesterday morn. for my weekly and found out that the baby is engaged, which means that he's turned now and has moved into the birthing position. i could tell before we even went that something was different. i've been having mild cramping for 3 days now, so they monitored me yesterday for a while to see if i was having contractions and i was, but only slight ones - and it only happened twice so that's a good sign.
we scheduled my c-section for feb. 11th, but i have a feeling that i'm going to go into labor much sooner. if the way my stomach feels is any indication.... then it could be within the next few days. i don't know but the dr. did say that i could go into labor at any time. i hope not, but i can't see lasting two more weeks... but maybe i will.
i decided to get outta the house the other morn., so i went to visit my SIL at the kindergarten right around the corner from our house. as soon as i walked in, the lady who works there told me that i'm going to have the baby w/in 10 days. i'm like "no... i still have 3 weeks. there's no way that i'm gonna have the baby by 10 days." she said i must be having a big baby then.
now, after going to the dr., i realize she may be right. she's had 6 kids, so i guess she knows a thing or two about having them, but... i would have rathered she not say anything. there's a part of me that thinks she almost willed it upon me. i told my husband that i didn't like her saying that and wished she wouldn't have said it, but..... what to do. he told me not to worry, but here i am.... worrying and feeling like i'm about to have this baby!
my husband has decided that i have to stay in the bedroom and not walk around. even the dr. i saw yesterday who will do the anesthesia told me not to walk around a lot or do anything. so, i called my mom and told her. she said that it doesn't matter what i do because if i'm going to go into labor, then i'm going into labor and nothing will matter. so i'm sure that's why i can't sleep. all these thoughts are running thru my head. one is... how will i know if i'm going into labor. my mother says, "oh, you'll know." that's comforting. ;) another thing keeping me awake are the lists i'm making in my head of all that needs to be done prior to my going into the hospital. not a lot, but just enough to keep me awake obviously.
i hate being awake at this hour and not being able to do anything. it hurts to move... it's difficult to walk... i can't sit for long periods w/out pain.... being so limited is not my cup of tea. i feel like the whole world is asleep and i'm sitting here WIDE AWAKE w/ my mind going 100 mph w/ worry, anxiety, fear.... just too many things.
i guess i could talk about An Inconvenient Truth. Al Gore's documentary on global warming or Marie Antoinette, which i watched yesterday. but, i'm not in the mood to go into the details of either... maybe later.
for now, i'll stop typing since i'm sure i'm keeping the hubby awake - this keyboard isn't as quiet as you'd think! and since i was able to get a few things off my mind... maybe i'll get sleepy. here's to hoping, right?!