Friday, January 26, 2007

awake and wondering

well, it's 3:06 a.m. and i'm awake. went to the dr. yesterday morn. for my weekly and found out that the baby is engaged, which means that he's turned now and has moved into the birthing position. i could tell before we even went that something was different. i've been having mild cramping for 3 days now, so they monitored me yesterday for a while to see if i was having contractions and i was, but only slight ones - and it only happened twice so that's a good sign.

we scheduled my c-section for feb. 11th, but i have a feeling that i'm going to go into labor much sooner. if the way my stomach feels is any indication.... then it could be within the next few days. i don't know but the dr. did say that i could go into labor at any time. i hope not, but i can't see lasting two more weeks... but maybe i will.

i decided to get outta the house the other morn., so i went to visit my SIL at the kindergarten right around the corner from our house. as soon as i walked in, the lady who works there told me that i'm going to have the baby w/in 10 days. i'm like "no... i still have 3 weeks. there's no way that i'm gonna have the baby by 10 days." she said i must be having a big baby then.

now, after going to the dr., i realize she may be right. she's had 6 kids, so i guess she knows a thing or two about having them, but... i would have rathered she not say anything. there's a part of me that thinks she almost willed it upon me. i told my husband that i didn't like her saying that and wished she wouldn't have said it, but..... what to do. he told me not to worry, but here i am.... worrying and feeling like i'm about to have this baby!

my husband has decided that i have to stay in the bedroom and not walk around. even the dr. i saw yesterday who will do the anesthesia told me not to walk around a lot or do anything. so, i called my mom and told her. she said that it doesn't matter what i do because if i'm going to go into labor, then i'm going into labor and nothing will matter. so i'm sure that's why i can't sleep. all these thoughts are running thru my head. one is... how will i know if i'm going into labor. my mother says, "oh, you'll know." that's comforting. ;) another thing keeping me awake are the lists i'm making in my head of all that needs to be done prior to my going into the hospital. not a lot, but just enough to keep me awake obviously.

i hate being awake at this hour and not being able to do anything. it hurts to move... it's difficult to walk... i can't sit for long periods w/out pain.... being so limited is not my cup of tea. i feel like the whole world is asleep and i'm sitting here WIDE AWAKE w/ my mind going 100 mph w/ worry, anxiety, fear.... just too many things.

i guess i could talk about An Inconvenient Truth. Al Gore's documentary on global warming or Marie Antoinette, which i watched yesterday. but, i'm not in the mood to go into the details of either... maybe later.

for now, i'll stop typing since i'm sure i'm keeping the hubby awake - this keyboard isn't as quiet as you'd think! and since i was able to get a few things off my mind... maybe i'll get sleepy. here's to hoping, right?!

11 comments:

Peceli and Wendy's Blog said...

I'm sure you are not in the mood for global warming kind of films! Fill your mind with pretty, positive thoughts. Read some nice poetry, or draw a picture of yourself looking like Venus of Willendorf.
Good luck with the days to come. Hey, walking a bit was good for me. And I took a James Bond book into the hospital for one of my kids. Only read six pages I think as there was important work to do.
W.

Puppy said...

Oh dear Tooners,

Everything will be fine. Walk, relax, do what you want. When the labor time will come, it will come, no matter what.

I know its easy for me to say, i am not pregnant, i never was. But i wish you all the best, to be more calm and relaxed.

Sending you my positive emotions :)

Puppy.

Hashim said...

zzzz....zzzz

what?1

shoot, I'm awake now! :)

You sure kept me awake last night. I couldn't believe you wanted to sit and watch TV after you finished typing!! Just can't believe it :)

There's not much time left, that's for sure. Your hospital bag is ready, the nursery is ready, and I'm ready!

So c'mon, bring him/her on :)

The Moody Minstrel said...

Hang in there, Tooners (and Hashim)...you're on the final countdown now. All you have to do is wait...and not let it drive you crazy. Pretty soon life will be a whole new ballgame (or should I say a new movement in a totally different key?).

LouLou said...

tooners,

I wish you an easy & safe delivery.
I know it's a tough few days but you can do it & later when you have your baby, you'll think it was worth it.

Keeping fingers crossed for you.

Andrew said...

Insomnia sucks, doesn't it. I hope your were able to get back to sleep. And I've got my fingers crossed with everyone else for good luck in the impending birth!!

Andrew (To Love, Honor, and Dismay)

Olivia said...

Omigosh, guys! We have Tooners in her last days of un-motherhood!

Chances are, we have to make the most of it, for when the little one comes, priorities will change.

All the bestest and mostest happiness!

jahooni said...

Hey sis.... I am back blogging.
I will call you in the morning tomorrow just in case you are awake again!!!

I miss you and you are in my prayers. can't wait to meet my neice or nephew.

Leilouta said...

Wish you the best Tooners.
Hang in there, it will all be worth it :)

Roop said...

Dear Madam, I pray to God for safe delivery. One of the Blogger
(www.mgrroop.blogspot.com)

Jane said...

Tooners,
You will not "just" know you are in labor unless you have the classic symptoms. I did with my first child, severe back and abdominal pain, upset stomach, intense pelvic pressure...but with my second I only had mild discomfort. The only reason I went to the hospital was because I was having some bleeding and thought I might be in labor. My midwife didn't think I needed to come in but said if it would make me feel better I should come in and get checked out. I insisted. I'm glad I did because by the time I got there I was eight cm dialated. It was totally different than my first labor which was intensely painful from the first moment. I didn't really have any pain until it was time to push my daughter out. So I guess the lesson is to trust yourself. If you are wrong the worst thing they can do is send you home. Better safe than sorry. My daughter could have been born at home or worse, in a car on the way to the hospital had I not trusted my instincts.