During this past Eid holiday, we went out to eat w/ my in-laws. While chatting w/ my MIL and one of my SILs, the topics of breast feeding and staying at my MILs house after the birth came up. I had already decided that I wouldn't be staying at my MILs house after coming home from the hospital. There are many reasons for this, but the thing w/ them is that they totally believe that the woman shouldn't be around the husband for 40 days after the birth. I disagree w/ this. I'm of the belief that my husband will help out w/ the baby and we will share things, and we'll both bond w/ the baby. Most ppl in this region don't believe in the husband helping w/ anything. He must have his rest and not be bothered w/ the slightest thing is the mindset of many or at least my in-laws - Lord forbid my husband not get 8 hrs of sleep a night or get up during a feeding!! Not just my MIL believes this, but each and every female in this household believes this.
In the States, yeah, you get help from your mother and such, but the husband is also involved, and I plan to raise our baby w/ the help of my husband - thankfully he agrees. I can't imagine if he didn't. I've told my MIL this, but it falls on deaf ears. She was the same when it came to imagining her son being in the delivery room w/ me. I heard all the horror stories of how he would never forget and it would never be the same and such. I dismissed it. But, now that I've decided to have a c-section, this won't be an issue, and funny enough, she is exhilarated at the fact that he won't be in delivery w/ me! lol
Well, I heard one story after another of all the bad things that can happen to the baby in the first few days and weeks after birth. Thankfully, I'll be in the hospital for 5 of those. But, it got to a point that I was somewhat scared and I guess she saw it on my face and again insisted that I come to the house after coming home. Yes, I know it'll be stressful on me to be by myself, but I know I can do it. I have that strength and I'm ready.... I don't need to go there and have things that I don't believe in told to me or insisted upon being done. You know??
Anyway, after this discussion, we went on to breastfeeding. I was then told that I should not breastfeed around anyone, INCLUDING my husband. That, if I did, it wouldn't be good for the baby to see this. Ok, what part of the baby seeing my husband come into the room will affect him and his life? I majored in psychology w/ an emphasis in child psychology, and never once did I study anything like this. So, I guess this is the problem w/ half or more of the world out there... they were breastfed in front of ppl.
Yeah, I understand not breastfeeding in public and this is something that I won't do because I'm just too bashful, but in front of MY HUSBAND???? She went on to tell me how my SIL (her daughter - who wasn't there at that point) never breastfed around her and that she insisted on her not doing so. Then my other SIL piped in w/ how she didn't breastfeed around her husband and would never do that. Well, she only tried breastfeeding for like two weeks, if that, so I don't understand the point really. Matter of fact, most of these ppl didn't totally breastfeed their babies because no one would spend the time needed to breastfeed, which I intend to do, even if it takes 2 hrs at a time, which they say happens. But, then they remind me how they breastfed for 2 years... how they consider feeding their babies for like 15 mins. breastfeeding... well, I don't get it, but maybe that's the life here.
Well, I told them straight up that I intend to breastfeed in front of my husband. No one said a word. I waited to see what or if anyone would try to tell me how wrong I was for my beliefs, but they didn't. And really, I don't care what they think. There will come a time when my husband comes in the room when I'm feeding, or when he sits w/ me at night - which is a great way for him to bond w/ the baby as well. And... what about the nurses at the hospital? Are they not supposed to see this either? phew... it all just is exhausting mentally. Thank goodness I do my own thing and plan to do so after the baby.
I was also told how I should start feeding the baby food at 2 mths. My MIL said she did this w/ my husband and the one SIL said she started feeding her baby bananas and such at two months. I'm not planning to do this. I will introduce food at 4 mths. I was also told how I should give some type of sugar water to the baby after he's first born in order to clean out his bowels and to keep him from being cranky... I've personally never heard of this and when I told my mom, well, she didn't know what to think.
But you know, I was talking to an Indian friend of mine and she said they believed the same. That you feed the baby sugar water for the first several days after birth - BUT... they weren't doing this and didn't believe in it. Her husband is a Pediatrician and doesn't agree w/ it... so I feel pretty good about not doing this.
So.. what are your thoughts?