Monday, June 04, 2007

noisy theatre eaters

We went to the movies the other day and after talking about how I always eat my popcorn before the movie starts.... it got me to thinking about my mom which, in turn, got me to thinking about ppl who are noisy eaters... especially at the movies.

My mom could be classified as such. She loves her popcorn - like me - but when she's eating it, she digs around in the box and digs around.... and it almost seems like it's always at the most quiet time during the movie. I've been known to "shhhhh" her.... only to get one of those dirty looks that only a mother can give. She's a loud cruncher too. It makes me smile to think about it.... because, really, it's a quality that I love about her.... even tho it drives me batty when I'm trying to watch a really good movie. But.... she's not the only one. Altho he'll kill me for saying it, hubby is a loud digger as well. I've also been known to dig at the bottom... but I'm courteous or try to be because I always try to wait until there's a lot of talking during the show or loud scenes and such.

So does that mean there are classifications of ppl who eat at the movies?

What about the ppl who slurp their pepsi's down to the very last drop... sucking on that straw like there's no tomorrow and you know, as the person listening, that there's no more pop coming outta that straw... but it seems like the sucker doesn't realize it. You can always tell when you're getting down to nothing in the cup... don't ya think? The ice is a dead giveaway... it moves around in a way that makes it clear that the soda is gone..... finished.... khalas. But these ppl.... I think that they think if they move the cup this way or that, that maybe... by some chance, a little drop of pop will fall w/in the straws reach and they'll get that glorious satisfaction. And... yes, me... well, I have done this too. But I usually save it for when I'm in the car w/ hubby or at home.... ;) Because he tends to drink all the drink and leaves me the tiniest drops at the end.... so I'm used to this desperate plea for more soda.... :)

And... what about those nacho eaters? I think these are the worst. I don't believe crunchy nachos were meant for the inside of a movie theatre. Since when do you need nachos? It's dark... sometimes you can't see even how to get to your seat... why eat something that takes great precision? You have to get that chip into a tiny little square box filled w/ cheese. I don't know... I'm not that steady w/ my hands... I'd more than likely wind up w/ cheese all over my face or all over my clothes. but... that aside... I can't stand to listen to ppl eating this stuff during the movie. And I usually wind up sitting next to someone w/ them... or even a whole family eating them. And they're not that good!

So... how would you classify eaters at the movies?
1) loud obnoxious eaters w/ crunch during the most quiet of moments
2) dainty eaters who try to be quiet for all the other viewers
3) slurpers
4) diggers who never seem to find the right piece to put in their mouth
5) droppers (I'm one of these)... always dropping the popcorn you get, so you wind up having to go back for more and make more noise because you can't seem to keep what you get inside your hand.

Are there any others you can think of?

I want to tell ya a funny story that this post made me think of. Long ago... me and my little sister went to see Aliens. I had gotten some gum prior to going in, so once the movie started, I unwrap my gum, stick in my mouth and start to chew it up. Well.... I don't know what this gum was made of, but it started sticking to all of my teeth. When I tried to use my lips to get it off of my teeth, it stuck to my lips. This is when I decided to take it out of my mouth and when I did, it not only stuck to my teeth and my lips, but then it stuck to all of my fingers. It was at this point that my sister turned around and asked, "what are you doing" or some such. I leaned down to her and whispered that my gum was stuck to all my teeth and to my hands, and then I showed her. She started to laugh... you know.... one of those laughs that you try to keep inside w/ everything inside of you (the kind when you know you aren't supposed to laugh which makes you laugh even harder).... and as I worked furiously to get this gum off of me, she'd give me that look of horror and total shock while she laughed.... this only made me panic. Let me tell ya... my sister can make me laugh like no one I know of. She is sooo crazy. And when she starts to laugh and then gets me to laugh... we can go on for a good 10 minutes. As we're trying to be as quiet as possible.... she gives me the brown bag that held this wonderful chewing gum, and I proceed, as quietly as possible, to take this bag and stick my gum to it.

Well.... you wanna talk about not being able to be quiet!!!! The more I tried to stick this gum to that bag, the more the sound, to me, started to penetrate the entire theatre, which made my sister break down..... I should have gotten up, thinking back on it now, but I was young and didn't want to cause a scene... I suppose... but as I tried to keep as quiet as possible and get this gum outta my mouth, from my fingers and off my lips.... well... it just seemed crazy loud. And as my sister kept giving me those wild out of control laughter looks, the more this crap wouldn't come off. It was like she had a bubble gum demon inside of her! ;) And I was the target.

Finally.... finally.... that gum came off. This is when I started to laugh .... the kind of laugh that you hold in... like when you're in church or at a funeral. Yeah... I've been known to break down in inappropriate laughter at funerals.

I know you may think, OMG, there's something seriously wrong w/ her... but... the cat's outta the bag. It's the truth! ;) I do it. Not all the time... but it has happened on more than one occasion. I guess the whole not being able to handle it is my thing.

So.... anyway... thought I'd share my words of wisdom today. The baby is taking his early afternoon nap. They're painting the outside of our house and started bright and early at 6:00 a.m. this morning. Today they sprayed the outside w/ water, to get off the old paint and such, and we had little floods inside the bedroom and bathroom when we got up. But.... the house will be nice and fresh in a few days... so that'll be nice.

Have a good day friends.

23 comments:

June said...

I chew my popcorn with gusto during the loud parts or commercials. Then try to chew silently during the other parts but I always get people whipping their heads round to identify the source of annoyance. At least I try.

Um Naief said...

june, lol... you're funny! :)

Puppy said...

That is really funny post. It made me laugh a lot. Especially the pepsi/soda part and the gum. LOOOOL

Janeen said...

LOL, I can remember that night like it was yesterday! Gosh that was funny. Glad I can make you laugh.... laughing is good therapy.

My hubby doesn't have an awful chewing annoyance BUT when he laughs at funny parts in the movie, it is so loud and obnoxious that I want to turn around and slap the laughter right out of him!

Sorry I didn't call back or get online for that long yesterday... Katelyn heard me up and wanted me to lay down with her and tickle her back, why don't you blog that... how horrible and mean you were to me about that. hymn???

Um Naief said...

puppy, i'm glad i made you laugh. :) believe me... that gum wouldn't come off of me for nothing. look at my sister's post below yours... and you'll see... she truly is a little demon seed!!! ;)

dear sister, the reason i got mad is because i told you that i was gonna feed the baby and you said... "oh, i'll be up for hours" and then i call and you're like... why didn't you call, i'm going to bed. so... i wasn't mean... just tired... i have an excuse... lack of sleep makes for perfect mommies... don't you think???!!

and yes... it was funny that night. i remember it like it was yesterday. i thought i'd never get that gum off... and here it happened in a scary movie!!

Munther said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Munther said...

lol 5 star post :D enjoyed the pop drinking part ! :) Also janeen's comment regarding slapping the laughter out of her husband made me laugh at the thought just to glance back over my shoulder encase she was there to slap me too ! :P

Can only Imagen how loony your family is at reunions ! :P

Regarding the main subject: I am guilty of crunching loudly but just to embarrass the lads or family at the cinema ! :)

Janeen said...

No, I mean...
Blog about "Tickling the Back" Lessons...
You can stop when I raise my hand, etc. etc.

Gazza said...

What i cant resist at cinemas is getting the straw off my drink,tearing the end off and blowing the other end so the caseing flies into the air,i think thats the child in me lol,i onece phoned my youngest daugher a few years ago,she got i rite cob on she was in the cinema with her mates and they all looked round when her phone went off lol.

Jac said...

That is one hell of a cute writing you have.
When I entered the first time here to read it the other day, I saw this post and thought it too long.

With not enough time to read the long one, I looked for one of your lovely snippets which were delightful to read.
I do that often when I drift in the web. Most of them don’t return the visit and I too don't mind it. But when I saw you several times in my blog with your precise observations, I saw another side of you as an intimate writer and her the talent to express in words.

So here I am, amazed at the easiness in the flow of language in simplest words, understandably witty and so delightful.
You made me read it with a broad smile in one stretch, and I want to tell you that I liked it so much.
I too eat popcorns and I am digger too but I am not a dropper. Well, you know what I mean. LOL
I don’t drink even diet pepsies; so no problem there but now I come to the gum.
I had an incident like this when I was younger… gums getting in my teeth, lips and finally all over my fingers, followed by a kidding friend asking me what is on my nose.
By reflex action my gummy fingers were on my nose making a mess of my face too. I was a laughing stock that day with my foolishness. That was the end of my gum chewing.
OMG I am writing so much with out realizing that I am chewing away all your valuable readers space.
Thank you um naief for the kind visits and this is to let you know that I am really pleased to read you here and there.
Thank you again.

Um Naief said...

munther, yeah... i can see my sister doing that. she warns him ahead of time or refuses to go to funny movies. it makes me laugh. she's a riot, i will say that. but i need it for i'm terribly serious. hashim can be a loud cruncher as well... no.. actually he's a loud slurper... i think it's something that's been passed down in his family! ;)

janeen, oooohhh, now i know what you mean. all the endless nights of back tickling ... and then i'd fall asleep! :) ok... i'll blog so that you can get your evil revenge! ;)

gazza, i'm sure that our son will learn all of those wonderful tricks. if it's not the hubby, i will for sure teach him! as well as sucking jello from a straw. how can you go thru life and not know how to do that?!!

jac, thanks for your nice words. i'm glad you find my blog enjoyable. some days i'm rather witty... but seems those days are fewer and more far between now. i do love to write though and, hopefully, in the future i'll get more time. thanks for coming by. hope to see you again. :)

The Moody Minstrel said...

I don't mind noisy eaters in theaters as much as some smart-mouthed kid sitting nearby who thinks he has to provide a blow-by-blow account of everything that's about to happen in the movie.

"The zombie's behind that post! He blows its head off! This is so cool! YEAHHH!!! Then another one sneaks up behind him! Watch this! Right through the eyeball...YEAAAHHH!!! And then that moody-looking guy sitting behind me stuffs a popcorn bucket over my..MMPPHH!!!!"

Jac said...

um naief
Blogging is also sharing our musings by visits. I will do my share when I am not on my vacation.

Olivia said...

Oh I did so enjoy this post! You are so funny when you write these stories!

I started when you said your mom digs around at the most quiet times.

I know that laughter that you and yur sister had - my mum and I used to do it at church. We might spot a funny thing, or hear a noise, or write each other a note, and then we would be struck with this what I call "shoulder shaking" laughter because that is all you can do. Because you're not allowed to laugh out loud during a sermon, you want to burst and the laughter just builds up and it gets more ticklish and you end up crying.

Peceli and Wendy's Blog said...

What a funny post.

Our movie theatre complexes have about six films ging at once and the audience may be quite small in each. One time there was only me and Peceli to watch this movie about a Fijian grandmother in Auckland. Title 'Number 2' So we just sang along with the song 'Sai Levuka ga' right through the movie.

Another story - an Oz girl went with her Fiji boyfriend to see Brokeback Mountain. The guy was so astonished at 'something' he saw in it, that he kept yelling out all through the movie.

And three, in Fiji the audience barrack during a movie - yelling out loud for the hero etc.
w.

The Moody Minstrel said...

I watched a Japanese travel documentary in which the central character (host?) is in Karachi, Pakistan. He goes to a movie theater and is surprised and annoyed to find that:

a. The lights in the theater are only slightly dimmed, not turned off, during the film,

b. Instead of rows of seats, there are tables and chairs like in a cafe,

c. The people there are almost completely ignoring the movie while chatting and eating loudly,

d. When he gives up and leaves in disgust halfway through the film he is promptly arrested and interrogated by the police, who say, "Why would anyone want to leave a movie in the middle unless he were a terrorist?"

Now compare that to your mother digging in her popcorn through the quiet bits.

Olivia said...

Minstrel - LOL that is too funny! :P

I too would be frustrated that here I am, at this movie, and no one is paying attention, so no one even knows what it's about - you might as well have stayed home or gone to a cafe.

Um Naief said...

olivia, glad i made you smile. you know... moody's comment made me laugh because my mom is like some of these ppl... i swear to you. in the movies, she immediately starts in w/ the questions. i have to shush her many times throughout... and forget about watching at home. she swears she's always seen the movie and if not always wants to know the ending before the ending. ;) and you know, there are movie theatres like what moody speaks of in dallas. they're called.... i wanna say dinner theatre, but not sure. there's one that i know of in addison. there are tables and you order drinks and food. ppl love it... but i wonder if it would be noisy. i can imagine it might be especially since they serve alcohol. almost seems like more of a meeting place than a place to see a movie.

moody, your movie going experiences sound terrible. it would drive me to not going... i'm assuming that this is part of the reason you don't go often. here... you get ppl taking telephone calls during and they'll have a full fledged conversation or text messaging like crazy, which i absolutely can't stand.

wendy, i enjoy having movie theatres all to ourselves altho it's not often. once in a blue moon really. how fun that you guys got to sing along. do you get current releases and such there??? i'm thinking in fiji... not australia.

Peceli and Wendy's Blog said...

Naief's Mum,
My relatives in Fiji tell us that they get the latest films a couple of months before Australia, so very quickly there are thousands of pirated movies out there! We saw the newest Rocky film (video copy) about two months before its release in Australia.
w.

Leilouta said...

OMG…you haven’t experience the worst…In Tunis I had to deal with people chomping and spitting out sunflower seeds and making remarks for every love scene. I stopped going to movies during the day and I went to the late shows to avoid the crowds.

Seroo said...

This was very true - I'm not one for rustling of candy wrappers and swishing around popcorn kernals in the movies, it does impair your experience quite a bit! I can safely say that no one is worse than my brother who's a bit of a movie nazi when it comes to his cinema experience... His rules include no speaking during the movie and never getting buttered popcorn (it just gets messy)... he's funny...

You know, I used to be one of those people who wouldn't eat or drink in the cinema in fear of making any noise or having to get up to use the toilets in the middle of the movie and my fiancee is the complete opposite: When we first started dating I found his child-like enthusiasm charming as he had to get the biggest bucket of popcorn and largest drink, no matter how much we had eaten before the movie... Now he's sucked me into his world and I love having popcorn in the cinema... I still do try not to be a nuisance and won't have the Xtra Large Diet Coke, but it's fun to go back to being a kid when you go to the movies and get all the junk, sometimes burst into fits of giggles... your story about your sister sounded all too familiar, I think all of us have been there at some point in our lives :)

The Moody Minstrel said...

:-O - ???
Um Naief, that story wasn't a personal experience, it was the experience of a guy in a travel documentary!

Japanese theaters are pitch black and dead silent till the end of the movie (even until the credits stop rolling)!

Olivia said...

I have heard of dinner theatres, I think there is one near me.

But I am sure the English would be a lot more considerate about it.

If I am not mistaken, I think in the Dallas area there are a couple of Bollywood dinner theatres.