Wednesday, August 30, 2006

these really piss me off !

Today I'm in a horrid mood. Been some things as of late that have really pissed me off and figured why not blog about 'em. Some of these things have been happening for a while and have reached a boiling point... some things just recently happened... but really it doesnt matter cuz all of it has pissed me off.

1) I'm SO freakin sick of ppl staring at me! It happens all the time and I'm just really tired of it. It happens everywhere. Doesn't matter if I'm in the car, walking into a store or what. It happened the other night, matter of fact. Me and the hubby were on our way out of Marina Mall and several women passed us while walking to the car. Well, they don't just look at me, but they stare me up and down. I guess they didn't like that I was wearing a dress... GOSH... a dress of all things! And.. a dress that had a hemline which hit right at my knee... so you know I was sinning cuz I was showing a little skin on the legs.

And... this wasn't the only time. While walking in the mall that night... I had so many looks. It wasn't like the dress was revealing. I had a shirt on underneath that came to my neck and the dress, like I said, came below the knee area. Sometimes I think they stare at me, then look at my husband in order to figure out if he's Bahraini or what, but it aggravates me. I sometimes feel like bugging out my eyes and looking at them the way a child would. But I don't. Once in the car there were these girls staring at me in the car next to us, instead of turning away like I usually do, I sat there and stared even harder at them. The girl got so upset that she turned and told all of her friends then they all started looking at me. I didn't lose my gaze.

Sometimes I get in a fiesty mood and feel like saying something to them.... asking them what they're looking at... do they have a problem.... is there something I can help them with.... or even to say "did you mother ever teach you that staring is very rude!!!"... BUT... I don't say a word.

2) I'm so sick of people butting into line ahead of me... thinking they have the God given right to do so because they're .... WHAT? Better than me? Bahraini? What?

This happens so frequently and I'm just too nice... I know it.. and I'm tired of it and need to get over it. I don't say anything, but boy do I fume. The other night - same place: Marina Mall - I was standing to get some of that tasty, delish corn.. and this woman walks up w/ child in her arms, smiles in my direction and then proceeds to butt right in front of me and when the man asks for my order, she hands him the cash and tells him what SHE wants!!!! I couldn't believe it. I turned around, looked at my husband and said nothing. I wanted to smack some sense into her... ask her if she was raised w/ any manners... but I doubt she'd give a shit. If she gave a shit, she wouldn't have done it in the first place!

Then, we were looking at cell phones the other day and these two girls walk in. They start interrupting the sales guy to ask him prices on phones while he's talking to my husband... which I find terribly rude. I mean, come on... how long would they have had to wait? A minute... ok, maybe 3 minutes. And then... while the guy was explaining the phone and such, they came over and one of them pushed in front of me while I was standing there. Oh gosh... it totally pissed me off... but again, I didn't say anything. I stood my ground w/ fierce determination that if she bumped into me again, that I would say something. But... I didn't get the chance. She stood there, hanging over the counter saying anything to get the salesmen's attention. Anything for attention, right?!!!!!

And... it happens all the time when I'm in a store about to pay. When there are obviously lines to the counter for ppl to pay, and they're taking the next in line... it never ceases to amaze me how some woman will come up, go straight up to the counter and insist on being waited on first. This is particularly irritating in that you usually have been standing in line for a good 10 mins or so... because people aren't fast in this country. First, you get slow sales ppl.. then you get the person who's buying the stuff asking tons of questions or just messing about on the phone, or not paying attention, or laughing, or yelling at their children... so... it does take some time to get checked out.

and my last bitch for this post will be:::::::::::::

3) Being ignored when you're trying to talk to someone. Now... this REALLY bothers me in a big time way. And it doesn't happen just now and again... it happens way too often to think about. It's maddening really. I find it at work too often. There's one person in particular... I'll call them Freaky Frigid (why, I don't know... but), well, when I hear them w/ other ppl, they are so talkative... gabbing about anything and everything, laughing, flirting even... BUT.. when I go there for business, they won't even look at me in the eyes. I try to be nice, but am totally ignored. My husband says it's because they respect me. But... I don't get it. My friend, Cyn, told me that it's all about the arranged marriage thing. That I married for love and they know it so they don't try to be all friendly w/ me because of it but w/ the others, they can be all nicey, nicey because the chances of the other person being unhappy is prolly pretty high.

Well... I don't know what it is... but this Freaky Frigid isn't the only person who does it. Really, I'm starting to wonder if it's not a control issue. The other night I was talking to this person and in the mid of the sentence, I looked at them and they were totally ignoring me! Didn't even look in my direction so I stopped talking mid-sentence and they didn't even notice! What in the hell is up w/ that?!! I don't do that to them, but it seems like if I don't talk about gossipy things or have something bad to say about someone, then they aren't interested in my thoughts, points of view, etc. I'll swear, I felt like getting up and pulling my hair and slapping the shit out of them. I would NEVER be so rude! But.. I feel like starting to do exactly that.

And.. their spouse does the same thing. They'll start talking to me and want my complete and total attention - believe you me - but... if I start saying something, they look off to the TV, and never say another word until they want to be heard again or to gossip. And... even if I raise my voice and try to ask them a question, they act as though they can't hear me! What in the hell is up w/ this?????????? Are all Bahraini's like this? Or is it me? I'm not the only one who experiences it. Several of my expatriate friends experience the same exact thing.... and it happens the same exact way. So... I think it's just total, freakin' ass rudeness. They could care less... their only desire is to hear their own voice, or feel like you are not worthy. Which.... totally pisses me off. I get to the point that I don't give a crap and refuse to even open my mouth and utter a word. How fun is that?! But... it seems to work miracles. I just sit and daydream... in my own little world. It works best, I have found.

You know... if I don't talk strickly fashion, music videos or gossip, I find that people aren't interested. Why is that? I'm sick of being the one pampering their every need.... listening to their every word... and REMEMBERING what they say. Shit, a few ppl can't remember what we've said if their life depended on it. This is something else that I can't quite grasp. I keep wondering if it's just a way of having total and complete control and making sure that you don't change up the story or something. I don't know. I'm tired of trying to figure it all out. The hell w/ them. I'm sick of it.


Ok... now I feel better :) Aaaaahhh... gosh, only if I could rat these ppl out. But... I won't. I'll play ms. nice girl... but watch out! ;)

28 comments:

Munther said...

I feel for you tooner !
"Queues subject": I don't think that it has to do with you being a foreigner, when it comes to not respecting the line and so on ! people are sooooo rude over here when it comes to such things ! They just won't stand in line, why ? it beats me ! this happens all the time to me ! I used to keep quite but not anymore ! I just lose my temper when this happens and end up with a scene.
"People butting in" subject: Well some people are rude ! Spoiled brats do it all the time ! You get it everywhere !
"Staring" subject: There are two views for this !
Women View: What is he doing with her ? What does she have better than me ? Why did he go for the foreigner instead of a Bahraini girl. So its basically jealousy.
Guys View: Well, guys will be guys ! Guys stare at every girl !
This post got me really annoyed ! so I stopped reading halfway through ! :P :)

One Wink at a Time said...

tooner,
What a rant, girl! I find it's good to get these things off one's chest. To hold that all in, you'd either get an ulcer or just implode.
My thoughts- people are by and large, way ruder today than ever. You and I must have been raised much the same way, I find it impossible to be rude. People are so self-centered these days, here too. I think it's a cover-up for their fear of getting lost in a crowd or something similar. I think maybe too, a lot of these people are just like you and me and have snapped, being treated rudely for so long by other people. But I refuse to change. I don't ever want to be like that. You and I may end up the only polite people left in the world ;-)

Peceli and Wendy's Blog said...

Wow! You are having a tough time.
Staring - do you look like Picasso's 'weeping woman' or something? Only joking! No, maybe they are curious, jealous, interested.
Pushing in ahead of you - well, that is rude. Do you push back? If you are with your husband, does he back you up, or just put his hands in the air, and shake his head - well, darling, that's life! Ignoring you - what about language - do you speak 'their' language or do you talk in English.
Some Australian girls married to South Pacific Islanders have their troubles too - they are ignored while the guys just talk away in their home language and the Oz wives sit there not understanding and feeling they are invisible.
Wendy
I guess you need to talk this over with your husband and ask him why...

Sam said...

I feel ya girl...seriously...and the thing is...your good side tells you they're not worth talking to. it's all over the world...rude is like the new epidemic

tooners said...

Hi Munther, I think I made it seem like all Bahrainis do the ignoring thing, but it's not all. Honestly, I experience this w/ the outside 'blogging' world... but when I'm here, it's exactly the other way around. It's all very difficult at times... I find that I get along better when I do my own thing. You say some interesting stuff here... a lot of food for thought!

one wink at a time, you know, I actually feel better after writing this. I think a large part of what I feel is hurt. Not at the butters in line, not w/ the ppl who stare, but w/ the ppl who ignore. That can cause loneliness - which it does - and it's not a happy feeling. Again, I find it best to stay away and not be involved w/ these ppl. And yes, ppl are by and large much ruder these days. I see it everywhere, not just here. When we ewre in the States in Feb., we came across some of the rudest ppl in San Diego. I vow to bring my children up differently...

peceli and wendy, staring... I don't get it. Ppl like to stare - I know this, but sometimes enough is enough. I felt like a freak the other night... kept wondering... ok, is my hair dirty... do I have a hole in my dress or something... but then, I got mad. No, I don't push back but I was ready to do that w/ the girl that bumped into me while looking at phones. I was prepared for a bit of a fight. My husband didn't notice cuz he was talking to the salesmen, but w/ the lady the other night cutting in front of me... he and I are sorta the same in that we don't start anything, but as soon as she left, we did both speak of it. Sometimes I don't want to embarrass him and am afraid that if I say something, it would embarrass him but I've found out that it wouldn't, so the next time, I do intend to speak my mind. And I speak some Arabic, but not fluently. I know enough to make a point though. I am also ignored by the women here... even in small groups, they will speak only in Arabic and not speak to me. I experience this at weddings - so now I don't go.. so yeah... I do feel invisible a lot of times. It's very boring and I find that I'm ready to go w/in an hour's time. Ppl prob think I'm rude but I also find it rude to not talk to me in the least. Sometimes I wonder if it's because they're afraid to speak English, but even w/ the ones that can speak it well do this. So I'm at a loss. W/ respect to a bunch of guys talking... that doesn't get to me. I understand that... it's a guys thing, but it's the ladies that bother me.

sam, it is like an epidemic! no kidding. it's consuming the world. and thanks for stopping by!

Munther said...

Tooners, I think that you're right lotsa people are afraid to speak english to a person who has it as a mother tongue,

English might be the second language here but some people are just scared of using it ! I had the problem before I went to the UK, just stop over thinking stuff love, it will just give you ulcers ! :)

PS: don't make fun of my grammar and spelling mistakes english is not my first language !

tooners said...

munther, first, you have really good english and i'm not one to make fun of ya! and i understand being shy and afraid to speak another language cuz i'm the SAME way w/ speaking Arabic. i'm shy and i get afraid of messing up so it's easier for me to speak English. Arabic is really tough tho!!!

Munther said...

I was just kidding !
Arabic is tough ? tell me about it ! It is my mother tongue and after 25 years, I still suck at it ! :P

TechZ said...

That's some pent up rant you got there tooners :P

You should blog about it more often and let it alll out. I have to admit I'm too nice in the same way you are, I'll let someone pass ahead of me in a line and such, but ONLY if its a kid or a lady, guys can wait just as I do. Same with while driving, if I'm in a decent mood, I'll let you pass or give way, but usually I dont, regardless of gender :P

I guess people stare at you, simply because you're a foreigner, not because of you're clothing, I mean look at the way some of the local Bahrainis dress nowadays....

Rude people, well, no shortage there, just look around! Even so, I try and be nice to the rudest of rude, atleast I can tell myself, I wasnt rude to them.

Olivia said...

Wow, I can see why you really really need this blog as an outlet, not just for rants, but for all the things that the people around you aren't interested in.

But really, you are TOO nice to feel this way, and be treated like this, you do not deserve it.

What I don't understand about not queueing is - how would THEY feel if someone did that to them? They'd probably holler to high heaven about their rights.

One time at the Post Office here, I was last in line with my little parcel. A fancy lady (the Gucci bag and high-heeled Prada shoes type, you probably see a lot of them) walked RIGHT past me into the line.

If someone butts in front of me, usually they are astute enough to catch my (accusatory) eye and realise, or ask first if I was in the queue. But she just did it like I WAS NOT THERE. I am rarely one to draw attention to myself, but I do hate being invisible.

So I spoke up and said, "I believe I was next." She said nothing, but she shrugged, smiled condescendingly, and let me back in as if SHE were being gracious and allowing me to have her place instead of disputing anything.

Grrrrrrrr.

And as for people not listening. I would be pulling my hair out!

You need **HugS**

Leilouta said...

I do the same tooners, if anyone stares at me for any reason, I stare back and sometimes smile and wave, which usually freaks them out and they just look away :)

About respecting a line aaaaaaaaaaah...I almost lost it a few times during my stay in Tunisia last summer, Le plus beau is that they don’t even realize that they are doing something wrong! I experienced that in Italy too...I truly believe that you can tell if a country is civilized or not by looking at their lines :)

The Moody Minstrel said...

I'll bet it really felt good to vent that out, Tooners. Now you can be satisfied for a little while till the pressure builds up again. ;-)

Some of those rants sounds awfully familiar to me. Japanese are actually pretty good about respecting lines until they get to be about fifty or so. Then I guess they feel they have a high enough position in society to expect special privileges.

I have actually called people on it a time or two when they tried to cut in front of me, moving around in front of them and saying, "Excuse me, but I believe the end of the line is back there." When I do so, men usually act all embarrassed, pretending they didn't notice the line, and then go to the end. Women ignore me. But after I do that the person at the cash register and behind me in line give me dirty looks.

I no longer notice being stared at, pointed at, etc. It's just a fact of life of being a white, round-eyed, strong-nosed type in an Asian country. Look at it this way, Tooners: you have finally come to learn first hand what it means to be a minority. Consider it a valuable lesson. After all, if you were to go and visit a small village in rural U.S.A. as a complete stranger, people there would probably stare at you just the same.

"Ignore and be ignored" is one of the fundamental rules of life in Japan, so I'm largely used to that, too, though I don't take kindly to someone pretending I don't exist when I try to ask for help. I have an occasional habit of yelling obscenities in their ear if they do so (which earns me dirty looks from the people around me, but at least I feel better).

Be thankful of one thing, though. For people simply to tune out others they don't want to deal with can actually be a cultural strength. Go to places like Mumbai, Moscow, Hamburg, or Paris, and you basically don't exist. Many people prefer it that way, because it means no one bothers you. The other extreme would be places like New York, Osaka, or Dublin, where people let you know right away in no uncertain terms if you're annoying them.

One Wink at a Time said...

tooner,
I was looking for an email address so I could wish you a personal Happy Happy Birthday. Couldn't find one so I'll wish it for you here. Have a wonderful day!!! :-)

Rain said...

Hey Tooners,

First of all , Happy birthday fellow virgo :))) (i don't know the exact date but i know it's near)

I can really understand how all the 3 points are provoking , cause it indicates unjustness and lack of respect , i really hate it when i feel someone is overtaking someone else's right for his own good!! it's so unfair and it makes me fume .

i think u handled the staring thing pretty well , if someone stares at u and made u uncomfortable , do the same , fair enough :)

As for the lines thing , just don't leave ur place , if someone is trying to take it , just say "excuse me but this is my place" that should work(theoritically).

Last (but not least) the most annoying , the ignoring thing.... i think u do the same as well :D , just ignore those who don't have enough respect to others.

Conclusion : treat ppl the way they treat u to act as a mirror to their deeds so that they can see what they do .

tooners said...

one wink, THANK YOU! :) for the bday wish! Makes me smile! You are very sweet.

rain, and THANK YOU! :) as well for the bday wish. Mine is today, matter of fact. When is yours? I know Puppy's is coming very soon... first few days of Sept. and thank you for the advice!

olivia, there are women here who dress like that (gucci & prada) and act the same way. it so annoys me. they like to ignore what they consider to be the little ppl. your experience in the post office sounds like what i see here. ppl will walk up to the counter when there are 6 or so ppl standing in line and want to be waited on immediately. it happens everywhere and i see it all the time. the sad thing, most ppl allow it so they keep on doing it.

moody, you are so very right about seeing what it feels like to be a minority. and it has taught me some valuable lessons in life. and so true about going to a rural area of the U.S. and seeing the same. this is so very true and we saw it when we went to Indiana for the first time. my husband noticed this but, thankfully, no one was rude. he thought they were the nicest ppl he'd ever come across, so that made me feel really good - seeing it was my home town and state. i was wondering, how is it w/ your children and you when you're out? did you notice a lot of staring in the beginning? do ppl wonder what a white guy is doing w/ asian kids?

techz, yes, letting out the steam helps a lot! :) i feel so much better after writing it all down. keeping it inside or fuming about it isn't healthy. i took your advice and just did it! ;) i'm also like you, i usually let ppl cut in front of me while in traffic but what i hate is when ppl try to take advantage and will try to push in front of me when there obviously isn't enough room and then aren't appreciative. a nice wave would be nice every now and again... which is what i always do.

leilouta, i love what you do for staring! hehehehehe i WILL have to try this... really, i can't wait! ;) ;) staring really gets to me for some reason. once i had someone tell me to wear an abaya, so i tried it, but man oh man... it was 10x worse. so now, i ONLY wear one if going to a certain area of bahrain or for funerals and such. blonde hair and white skin doesn't stay unnoticed in black abayas.


all of you guys gave some good advice. the one thing i'll have to really learn to deal w/ and not be bothered by is the "ignoring" thing. i cant stand to talk to someone only to have them look away, play deaf and ignore me mid sentence. so... this will be a challenge but something that needs to be worked thru, obviously. i'm starting to think it's a cultural thing... altho it's somewhat hurtful at times. the mean part of me wants to do the same thing to them when they're talking to me.... and for once, i'd just like to show them how it feels, but i know myself and know i won't do it.

oh yeah, and olivia, i DO give death looks to ppl when they get in front of me - if they're not really old or something - but most ignore it and usually they don't even look at you and find nothing wrong w/ what they're doing.

and moody, obviously i haven't traveled the world enough to see how many cultures find ignoring ppl to be a way of life. i'm taken aback by just how many societies live this way. but you know, even in the States when you get into an elevator... ppl don't talk, walking on the street, ppl don't talk. but i will say this, when we're out some place, here, americans will talk to me outta the blue. it's nice. and they're always attentive, but also very loud... you always know when it's an american! do you see the same in japan?

one wink, if you ever want to email in the future, mine's kenzity@yahoo.com :)

RC said...

yikes...hope you got a load off your chest and feel better.

Jesus said the 1st shall be last and the last shall be first...sounds like, at least when you're standing in line now other people just might want you to be 1st later.

:-)

hope you feel better...no stares here.

--RC of strangeculture.blogspot.com

Olivia said...

Oh yeah, forgot to tell you about my parents: my Dad is essentially white (Greek and Icelandic) and my Mum is brown (Guyanese).

Even in Texas, they only got stared at once, by a big guy in a stereotypical hat and boots.
The rest of the time, people didn't give it a thought. Isn't that amazing?

Even in London, where my father was born, he was made to feel like a foreigner because of his name. He was fine as a dancer and a model, but once he entered the oil business, it was different for him.
Things have changed here big-time.

Mixed race children are the face of the future.

Although, having said that, in the Tube on the way home today I realised there was only one black guy in a company of 70 employees. What's more, I am the only olive person there, but unlike my father's experience in the 70s and 80s, no one makes me know it.

Reem said...

Wow, I felt like you were ranting about the many things I too have often felt like ranting about. Each experience you described matched up to one I can recall taking place with me in Qatar...lol. I'm also a "foreigner" who married a Qatari and it's pretty much the same experience. Only I have to wear the black abaya there.

Sometimes you face ups, sometimes you face downs, it's all part of the new experience. At the end of the day, we do extraordinary things for love. Makes it worth it.

Lorena said...

Hi Tooner! Its me Again:) I was reading your blog:) and I decide to write you a comment.. 3 days ago I left to marina mall with my friend just to see the "SALE".. Home center was full of PPL and all the trolleys were busy ! so I had in my hands many things and i get mad .. I run to the costumer service counter and I ask nicely to the man in there for a trolley .. he say okay madam , wait a bit I will ask some one to bring you one .. I stand in there waiting for it ... and suddenly a women with NICAP push me with her trolley , once, and I say excused me ?... she didn't say nothing , and she hit me again in my hip, and i say Excused me???? she didn't say nothing!!! the 3 time she hits me stronger ! and was the time to say some thing .. so i say it .. I say hey you hit me 3 times and you don't even apologized! why is that? she put her finger in her mouth and say ...SHUT UP BITCH.... IDIOT... ! I was in a chock ..trying to weak up from the trance!! the only thing i was able to respond was .. I can tell that you just came from the village .. and that you have no manners... MESKINA...but I wish really to give her a punch in her face! .. I was so mad!

then wile i was waiting for the trolly! again the guy who left to get it for me came with a big smile in his face and another women ! (bahrani) take it!! can you believe it? so i was so mad for what happened before with the nikapa one that I run and i pull it back and i say... HEY !! this is mine and i have been waiting more then 15 minutes and being hit 3 times for it so if you really want to get one go to the counter and ask for it! LOOOOOOOL .....you know and like this I can give you 1000000 of examples of the life in here! ... and yeah many many many times my hubby have ask man and women what is what they watch ( me)... or me ask the women may help you? or man do you know me ? .. one day in a coffee shop food rockers a group of us left for a coffee and we seat there where 3 man old ... and one of them was watching at me like he know who im .. you know what i mean? so after 30 minutes I ask do you know me? he told me no but I will love too ! you can imagine all my friends ! this man left the coffee shop coz 9 women where screaming at him! ...or when you drive ! have you been running trying to hide your self coz some one is trying to talk to you ? or asking for your phone number? ...but this is Bahrain ...

happy happy Birthday !! :)

and yes please my grammar and spelling is not good ... sorry

The Moody Minstrel said...

but i will say this, when we're out some place, here, americans will talk to me outta the blue. it's nice. and they're always attentive, but also very loud... you always know when it's an american! do you see the same in japan?

Ironically, we seem to have the opposite problem here. It seems like many if not most of the Westerners you bump into here are either egomaniacs or just plain cold.

Coming from a place with small-town ethics, I was accustomed to greeting and being pleasant with people I met, but so many Americans/Aussies/Brits/whatever I've come across while out on the town here have responded to my "good morning" with either a cold, "who the **** are you?" glare or a very embarrassed-sounding return of my greeting followed by a shaking of the head and a "what is this guy's problem?" look...if not a snide comment to their Japanese companions.

Most of the Westerners I know here say they have had similar experiences. That's why we tend not to speak to Westerners we see unless spoken to, thus contributing to the problem in the end.

I think the main problem is that life in Japan can make Westerners either feel very cynical and bitter or think of themselves as celebrities (or both). Also, when you think about it, most Westerners here are young people that either come from affluent backgrounds, have made some kind of major achievement, or are filled with ambition and delusions of grandeur. In other words, not only do they tend to have an inflated self-image, but they are extremely defensive of their own "turf". You can't expect such people to be friendly. They'd rather dis you and send you off so that they can stay smug in the spotlight again.

Painter Lady said...

Feel better, sweetie? I love to rant...sometimes I rant when I'm alone in the car. I used to worry about people thinking I was talking to myself, but with cells phones being the rage now... I don't worry about it anymore.

I've missed you. I hope to be blogging more often now that summers almost over.

Hugs...xxoo

vampyregirl said...

I totally understand how you feel!! I get stared at not because I am a foreigner (obviously) but because I am always in black and my hair is black, face is very pale, etc. It usually scares people when I smile back at them, or say, "yes, do you need something?" This will either have them scamper away quickly from me or they shake their heads and say, "nothing, sorry...."

And for those rude people in line, I would say, if they try and cut in again, "excuse me, the end of the line is back there. I am next." no apologies, just give them the information, most of the time they will then ask to either cut in or walk to the back. If they ask I usually say sorry, I am in a hurry and have been here for awhile....unless I am feeling in a nice mood which is rare.

either that or a good middle finger in the air, usually works! ;)

Chris in MB said...

I'm one of those people who are completely oblivious to other people.

My wife being my opposite & hypersensitive to such things always comments "Hey! She was rude!" or "He was being condescending, didn't you even notice!!!". It really annoys her sometimes that I don't notice & don't care!

When it comes to cutting in line it just never really happens to me. Gee, now that I think of it, maybe it does but I just rarely notice! :P

I also get the impression that woman are more likely to be rude to each other, rather than men. I suppose that would statistically double a woman's probability of being treated badly?

Rain said...

Tooners,

:))
mine is 11th of september (A) ... but i'm not by any means connected to Qa'ada bombings :D, thanks for asking.

Puppy said...

Hi Tooners,

I would like briefly comment


FIRST OF ALL: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!

a). people starring. In the environment u r living where all women are covered in black, and generally dark colored people. They see you walking not the same as they are and that brings their interest. Its like in museum, you see something rare and u stare :) Yes its bad to stare at ppl but it’s a cultural thing, we have ppl staring at afroamericans, or just staring at you if u look very chick. Azeris will just do this check up look, from head to toe, but with the face it happened accidentally or they had nowhere to watch. Ppl are curious, especially in the East. I cant say whether people stare at me or no, since when I walk I even don’t see ppl waving me, sometimes :) I just don’t pay attention to others, what they look or wear. I know your situation is different and looks are different. But still let it go, don’t pay attention.

b) walking in the line, well its here too. If it’s a lady with a baby I never say anything, there are times when I give my line to the ladies with a little babies, or pregnant, but if a lady is taking advantage of it, u know she just comes and goes straight into the line above me, the only thing I do I rise by eyebrows, do a sigh and say in my mind “Azebaijan, Azerbaijan”, no any deep feelings :)

c) Ignoring, I think it’s the most offensive. Well if they ignoring you, ignore them back. If they are not interested, let them be. Talk to someone who cares, plain and simple. If its about the business, write them emails, and if they will ignore you three, u can have a proven fact that u did ur part. U know that I am working in the environment where I have noone to talk with, or express myself if something I don’t like, so what I do is “I talk to myself” :) I complain to myself about something I didn’t like in a particular moment, to get the steam off, u know? Once my team leader noted that, and said “what I am saying there under my nose like an old woman” its was very funny, because he knew, why I got mad, and he knew I was right. So we all laughed. I had a history teacher when I was on 8th grade in school, she said one thing about talking to yourself, I also using that expression, so she said “It’s a pleasure to talk to a smart person”. Actually she was a bit “ku-ku” teacher (weirdo). Kou-Kou is what I say to weird ppl, or to mental challenged :) So Ku-ku them all :), I guess I found a new meaning for Ku-ku :)


All the best to you. Take it easy.

Puppy.

tooners said...

lorena, hi! i have a hard time getting into your blog. it likes to bring up a second blog while i'm surfing and then it's difficult to access your posts. thanks for stopping by! come around any time!! and your experiences are horrible! i can't stand the stuff that happens here to foreigners/expatriates... but you see it all the time, sadly. i hope you are the lorena going to the bloggers mtg. on thursday. if so, i'll see you there. :) we can talk about all this stuff then, if you want.

reem, thanks for stopping by! i like your blog as well. thanks for your comments. it's good when you see that you're not the only one having troubles! and yes, isn't it something... what we do for love!! :)

painter lady, hi there! long time no see! thanks for stopping by!!

vampyregirl, you know... i'm going to do just as you suggest and see what happens. i always hesitated in the past so as not to look or sound rude, but... i feel they are the rude ones and if i've been waiting in line for a while, i feel that i have every right to say something! and i think asking ppl "yes, do you need something" is a really good one, but... i'm wondering how many ppl will understand me! i think smiling at them will also do the trick in most cases... phew... now only if i can get the nerve up to do it! ;) hate to say it, but my bark is a lot worse than my bite!

chris, YES, women are much ruder to each other.. you have that right! my husband doesn't notice a lot either... but i hope that changes! ;)

rain, i KNEW YOU were involved!!! ;) ;) ;)

puppy... hey there! nice to see your comments. i talk to myself too... and here i thought i was the only strange bird that did that! ;) yes, i think that a lot of ppl are ku ku... i like this and think i'll start using it myself. :) and re: the staring.. well, we went out the other day and i just ignored everyone and if they stared, i didn't notice. as far as the ignoring stuff... this is what bothers me the most because it's closet to me - meaning it happens in my immediate circle of ppl. at work, i notice this but blow it off, it's when i'm being ignored by ppl that i feel should not be doing this is when it truly bothers me. i'm on the anger side of it right now and feel that my only choice is to do the same to them or not be around them. i think i'll do both. i think it's time they got a taste of their own medicine. i've been nice for way too long!

lorena said...

Hey ! yes its me! hehe I will meet you there! I hope Hubby dont change his mind!.... really? i will post here the link!:)
hugs

lorena

http://random-thoughts-of-me.blogspot.com/index.html

Jane said...

I hear you. Jd and I get stares all the time, especially when we are with our kids. I'm pretty sure it's because we are an interracial couple and in my area you don't often see white women with asian men.

As far as the rude line-cutting thing, according to a post from Sandmonkey awhile back, it is not uncommon in the Arab world. And he says that if a Western complains they will be called the brat, thinking they are entitled to everything.