Monday, May 22, 2006

insomnia city

last night i saw on some TV program that they're going to be remaking The Sound of Music. it got me to thinking about my favorite things and least favorite things.... and about writing.

it's weird but i always have all of my best thoughts and the most active imagination at night when it's midnight or past and i know i have to get up and go to work the next day. my mind races, i can't sleep and all i want to do is write. not having the freedom to write at night sucks. i find that in most cases i have to force sleep or take sleeping pills, and when i get up the next day.... all of those feelings that moved me the night before are gone. this is, by far, one of the worst feelings. i kick myself for not getting up and doing what my mind craves, but i don't and can't really. in the mornings, try as i might, that imaginative spirit - the thoughts and feelings - seem to have floated away, and nothing of any real sustenance ever surfaces. so i sit and wait, and wait, and wait.

once again... i find myself lost in thought.

i guess i could stay up but i'd suffer at the job. i can't think when i'm tired and what happens if i have to write a speech for the big guy! so... i don't stay up... i wish i could. but then.. i'd prob get tired! ;) and have no thoughts whatsoever, my body would insist on sleep, and all the chaotic thoughts would leave me... i can see it now, but i'm a bit of a fatalist.

i was thinking about my favorite things - a clothes dryer. i miss having a dryer in the house. i miss the warmth of the clothes, and i really miss the smell that fresh clean sheets have after having been in the dryer and then in the closet for a few days. aaaahhhh... when the pillows are cold and your head falls into that sweet cushion of softness... and the smell that fills your senses... Snuggle..... ummmm, there's nothing like it.

a dryer is next on our list... but it all makes me laugh because we had this plumber guy come to the house to inquire about installing the dryer. he made it seem like it's gonna be an impossibility. i could run around the house screaming, pulling my hair out, demanding a dryer... but what good would it do me. if the ppl don't know how to install it, the dryer becomes nothing but a fantasy and these types of fantasies tend to make me depressed. so i keep hoping... waiting... and thinking that some day, someone may be able to install a dryer.

i was reading this egyptian girl's blog and she was talking about the 16 things she wouldn't miss about Canada and the 16 things she would miss most. it got me to thinking about Bahrain. there are some things that i wish were different, so i'll list them here:

1. i wish the sky was blue w/ voluptuous clouds hanging in the distance. (the sky is yellow here and there are no clouds whatsoever - not even a peak of blue anywhere - it depresses me)

2. i wish the water wasn't salty from the tap. (it wrecks havoc on my hair, skin and clothing)

3. i wish the *cold* water from the tap wasn't hot in the summer (but i guess that's what happens when the water tanks are outside)... we could get a cooler but it seems like we have nothing but trouble w/ the water in our house, the water heaters and i'm not sure i want another headache

4. i wish that Bahrain had a recycling program... makes you wonder what this country will be like in 10 yrs time. makes me think of Egypt and the banks near the water around Cairo (the pyramids)... you could see nothing but trash where soil should be (i hope it doesn't get like that here)

5. i wish that so many women didn't wear black abayas. it is so depressing and reminds me of death. it seems like this whole country is in mourning all the time.

6. i wish there wasn't so much pollution. when we walk at night there are so many places where you can smell nothing but rotten eggs. it's disgusting and so bad for you. i have to cover my mouth and try not to breathe until we get past those certain areas. this is shame really.

7. i wish there were more places for a "really" good haircut and color. i miss my hairstylist!

this brings me to another point.... WHY do all the women refuse to cut their hair in this part of the world? i don't get it. they pull their hair up most of the time any way, so why not chop it off. i think it's all for show.... and i was told that it's a sexual thing for some women (haha, hee hee). and yeah... i guess the belly dancers like it...

but i say it looks old fashioned (the hair down to the waist).... get w/ the times and cut your hair!


mae mae said...

i totally have most of my most creative and inventive thoughts in the middle of the night when i can't sleep, but i'm tired and want to sleep so i don't wanna get out of bed and start something big and then the next morning all of that creative energy has completely left me.

jahooni said...

I would NEVER be able to keep up with all your blogs if you wrote at night as well.. GO TO BED!

Al-Hajeji said...

في ذكر الشهيد أهل فلسطين
A post dedicated to The martyrs of falisdeen:

Leilouta said...

I love nights. It is my favorite time of the day.Everybody is asleep, it is quiet and I feel that it is long enough for me to able to do everything I want. As a teenager, I couldn't sleep much at night. I cooked, cleaned the house, washed our clothes by hand,took a bath, did my hair sometimes all with music. I loved it :)

Lisa said...

I also have my best blog ideas at night. I lay in bed and think about the day; what happened to me, whats going on it the world, what would be interesting to someone other than myself... but then i fall asleep and cant remember them when I wake up.

I've never been that part of the world, though I would love to, but I can't imagine have a a yellow sky! How sad!
I can relate though with the bad smells, when i lived in mexico city it was the same thing. I smelled things that even hell wouldn't own up to. But, when i smell something really bad in the streets here, it always reminds me of mexico city and makes me miss it so badly.

Leilouta said...

I can relate Lisa, sometimes really bad smells remind me of wonderful things I experienced in Tunisia.
I miss that so much.

tooners said...

i think that if i wasn't here in Bahrain, i would really miss it. i missed it when we were away...

there are many things that i love about this country... i just wish the sky would get blue, and the smell.. sometimes it comes out of the sink in our bathroom.. i don't like this.

saba said...

hehehe i loved the hair part! my hair was down to my waist...2 months ago we had a cancer drive (donate your hair for cancer) so i cut off 14 inches!!! my mum loved the idea, she thinks i look better with short hair..but my cousins and uncles and aunts etc..flipped!!! totally flipped! they called me insane..and said the west has ruined me ...hahahahaha its only hair..and i did do it for a good cause! besides i adore my short hair and my bf is happy with yea whatever ... and oh about ur urges to write..personally i think you should go ahead and do it..remember life is short, and i believe God sent every single one of us with a gift to the world..your gift is writing so dont deprive us from it!!! and in the morning drink coffee..hehehe always works ;)

tooners said...

14 inches!!! my gawwwwd! now... that is a lot of hair!

i bet it feels great! i think having short hair is so freeing... when you swing your head you can actually feel it swinging w/ you... if that's the new do in your pic, it's adorable!!

i know what ya mean about the relatives... i thought my in-laws were going to have a fit if i didn't grow my hair out... it's about shoulder length now but i'm thinking of cutting it! :) they'll have fits fer sure! ;)

thank you for your encouragement... it means a lot to me and i agree.. life is short and i do believe we all have a purpose. you're sweet.

Bahraini Rants said...

I just unwittingly came across alfanan’s website and then your blog, and have been trying to contain the laughter at my desk.. Having moved back to Bahrain around the same time as you and your husband, I can definitely relate to your transition issues ( at least you’re not from here, I’m Bahraini). Your wishes seriously cracked me up: the salt water ruining your hair, no good hair stylist for women, how you miss dryers.. those are the typical complaints from everyone who comes to visit me.. whattdya mean you don’t have a dryer??? I need a dryer to dry my clothes,, the sun?? you have to be kidding me.. We have since duly accommodated our guests and purchased a dryer.. it’s just a concept that’s completely foreign to this part of the world.. As for everyone wearing black, don’t get me started on my proposal to spruce up our image and get with the times..

Anyways I’ll be sure to swing by and check your site out more often..



tooners said...

bahraini rants,

thks for stopping by! i'm glad you liked the post and i'm glad i could make you laugh.

yes, i do understand the need for dryers! too much so... have the name of a good plumber? we need it!

Bahraini Rants said...

unfortunately no.. i don't know any good plumbers, except of the videogame variety (super mario brothers)- lame joke yes i know)..

good luck..