Friday, May 26, 2006

where's my mommy???

funny thing happened yesterday on the way into Marina Mall, ok, not funny, but...

we parked the car and started walking up to the store. on the way, i saw a little girl outside, prob 8 or 9 yrs old, screaming and crying for someone. me and the hubby both agreed it was her mother or parent. as we got closer, some Bahraini girl/woman asked the little girl something but didn't help out. the little girl walked inside and as we made our way into the front entrance, we headed to the security desk.

why they hadn't noticed this little girl is beyond me. but, there was another expat couple standing there who had also noticed her - so we weren't the only ones. thankfully, the guard took some action and they got the little girl before she disappeared into a store. when we left, we asked the guard and, thankfully, they found the mother.

you know... this really eerrrks me. i can't tell you how many times i've seen this same thing happen - a child is crying and is lost. this little girl was no different... altho the pain in her voice really grabbed my heart. i think i could've slapped the mother. this is the 3rd time we've seen this at Marina Mall.... i wonder what it is about this place? do the mother's get so caught up in shopping that their child ceases to exist or what? but hey, that happens everywhere here.

or is it that the nanny's/housekeepers should have been watching and it's their fault that the child got lost? i don't believe it's their responsibility? a mother if responsible for her child, plain and simple, right?!

if you're not going to watch and pay attention to your child or children, then leave them at home! most of the time the mother isn't interested any way. she's walking around talking to friends/relatives or on her mobile - and couldn't be bothered. the housemaid is bringing up the rear, carrying the child, pushing the child in a stroller, or watching and running after the kid. which i find ridiculous.

reminds me of that child that fell off the escalator over at A'Ali Mall. again, i would bet that the parents weren't paying any attention. is there some type of rule here that when your child hits a certain age you just stop caring?

but gosh, there was a 20% off sale yesterday, the place was packed... it would be easy to lose your child, right?

i told a girl this story and she just laughed and laughed, and proceeded to tell me about all the times her daughter has gotten lost and the steps her little girl takes to find her again. this is another moment that makes me go "hmmmmm"......

isn't it bad enough that prob over 1/2 of the population here, w/ children, ride around w/ their kids on their laps w/out seatbelts (and i'm talking babies here!), don't put their kids or babies in car seats, let their kids stand up while riding in the car or hang their bodies outside the car while moving.... and don't get me started on how many times i see the husband w/ the baby between him and the steering wheel!!

wouldn't it be wise to read the paper and see how many deaths are caused by a lack of .... hmmmm... there are so many words that could be added here.

it's a good thing that Bahrain doesn't have a prob w/ kids being abducted... or taken by strangers!! cuz if so, then all of these parents that walk around w/out paying attention to their little children would be in some serious trouble.

you know, when i was visiting my sister in calif., we went shopping w/ my niece in tow. never did she leave our sides. i can't imagine it. i can't imagine doing this to a child... not caring or watching over my baby... leaving a child w/ a housemaid ... i just don't get it and don't think i ever will.


Mahmood Al-Yousif said...

They say that you've got to reach a certain age, take driving lessons, take a test and repeat it several times if you fail, before you receive a license for you to drive a car.

However, any pair of mugs can produce babies without so much as by your leave!

You do the math...

le.voyageur said...
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le.voyageur said...
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Chic Mommy said...

I totally agree with you, it is the parent's fault when something like this happens. It's sad, but there are alot of sickos out there just waiting for a parent to look the other way so they can snatch kids. I always keep mine in a stroller or make them stand next to me touching my leg when I'm paying for something at a store.

We actually saw a small 4 year old Chinese girl lost in the mall last year. She was crying and walking all over the place. Nobody went near her because "they didn't want to get involved." People here think you probably are trying to kidnap the child if you even touch them. I didn't care, I bent down and stopped the child and asked her if she was lost, she was hysterical so I didn't get too far with that question, and took her into the nearest store where I told the saleswomen that the little girl was lost and security needs to be called. My husband was watching our other kids while this was going on. The security guard eventually came and took the girl away. I was so angry at her parents for losing her, I mean, how can anyone let their child disappear like that? What if some sicko found her instead of me? We keep our kids on a tight leash, we have to.

tooners said...

le.voyageur, to me, it doesn't matter where you live (NYC upper east side)- I don't believe in nannies raising children. All one has to do is look at some of these kids (in the States) who were raised by nannies and you see why it's not such a good idea. I'm sure there are exceptions to the rule... but, I stand by my feelings on this.

Here, the nanny/housemaid situation is totally different. There are no "real" nannies in this country. They're mainly housemaids thrown into the job. I also see this as a lack of proper parenting because I would never allow a person like this to raise my child. Never!

And no, I don't have children, but I do believe it's the parent's responsibility to watch their children, no matter what. I understand a child wondering off, but when it happens, the mother and/or father should immediately notice and take action. I think it's completely careless not to notice if your child has gone astray. And it's careless parenting... what it is... people are lost in their own shopping la la land?!! I mean... come on!

Irregardless of the fact that children move fast... I still find that this is no excuse to losing your child.

Hey Chic Mommy... I agree.. Bahrain is lucky they don't have these sick pervs YET... hopefully it'll never get to the level that it's at in the U.S. and inshallah, it never comes here! And I so agree w/ you on your comments. Thanks for coming by... hope to see you again! :)

tooners said...

le.voyageur, I also believe much has to do w/ the way you raise a child. Again, there are exceptions to this rule (chemical, emotional, etc.), but some parents are lazy and it's just an excuse. Some ppl find any excuse not to discipline - this is a big part of it. And a big part of it here.

re: nannies - MANY highly successful parents are completely absent in their child's life.... which can cause a shitload of probs... I think it all depends on the parent.

saba said...

heh, sounds like Bahrain alright! Yea i remember (or my mum told me) when i was a kid i got in an elevator and it closed before she was able to get on it..she told me she almost lost her mind...and she actually almost passed out when she found me...and i dont think that is anything comparable to be getting lost in Marina Mall..No offense but i hated that mall its always packed with people who buy useless mum used to drag me to Home center...and we never actually bought anything, why do we go is beyond for the nannies i have this theory: why would you have a kid if your not willing to take care of it???!!! for God's sake its your kid the least you can do is spend time with them..and its not like the mother is busy in a high class business meeting or saving the world from HIV...NO shez sitting on the table BESIDE the table with her kid and maid (who usually has no experience with kids)..but yea when/if i ev er have a kid..noone and i mean NO ONE would touch them except my husband and i...ugh i think i got angry there..but yea Tooners i totally agree with you on this one...pisses me off

le.voyageur said...
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still breathing said...

why can't kids just not wonder about and stay glued to their parents??

maybe handcuffs will b useful in shopping and such occassions :)

The Moody Minstrel said...

I still think it's a lot more merciful for a parent to have their child wander off and get lost while they're shopping at a busy shopping center than to lock them in their car on a hot day and leave them there for hours while they either go shopping or play pachinko.

In Japan some mothers do just that. Every once in a while a child dies because of it, too.

shlemazl said...

Sometimes it's hard to blame a parent. You take your eyes off for a split second and... the child is gone. Happened to me once in Tesco's in the UK. The kid was 7. Normally he just follows me, but on that occasion he started to follow someone looking like me. It was a big scare for both of us for about 3 minutes.

jahooni said...

thank you tooners for giving me credit where credit is deserved! I have done my best in researching "parenthood" and for God's sake, PLEASE get the word out for child's safety!
yalla yalla!

LouLou said...

Please don't say leaving a child with a housemaid like that. Not all parents who hire people to look after their kids are irresponsible.

My parents often left us with the nanny because they had to go to work. We had two nannies growing up. One stayed with us for 20 years. Then she left and the other stayed for 14 years. We loved both of them.

We only went out with the nanny if my parents couldn't be there though.

But you're right I know a few girls who'd bring their kids shopping & leave them wandering around. I stopped going out with them because it made me so nervous I ended up spending the whole time chasing after the kids.

tooners said...

loulou, i agree, not all parents are bad and i understand having to work and such, but i just don't believe in getting housemaids to do the nanny part - i think it leaves too much room open for something bad to happen. i see many ppl here who go out w/ the housemaid/nanny and couldn't be bothered w/ the child while the nanny walks behind carrying the child, running after the child and such. this, i disagree with.

still breathing,
you know, in the states they have little leashes for children. i always thought it was sorta cruel.. but i kinda now see the point in it! ;)

when i was young, my mother would leave me and my sister in the car for long periods of time. i think that's why i'm SO opposed to it. we both hated it, but it was a different time then and things were different... but i wouldn't do it now, but i still see it happening.

i know a family that went off and left their child at a restaurant! they were on vacation and didn't notice until they had gotten down the road a bit... can you imagine how scary that was for both, i'm sure.