Wednesday, May 31, 2006

thank gaaawd it's Wednesday! :)

been on an organizing committee for a conference for the last two days. boy, these conferences wear you out! it was a lot of fun though. the ppl i worked with were smart, team players and everybody had such a good attitude, which makes a huge difference when you're stressed out. :) plus, lunch was free both days... and you can't beat free food!! ;) hmmmm?

haven't been in the mood to write for several days now. don't know why really. haven't even been surfing the web much or reading blogs. i've been keeping up w/ a few favorites... but that's about it. gosh, i haven't even been checking my email. what's wrong w/ me!!!?? it's usually the first thing i do in the mornings, when i get home from work, during work, after work... but yesterday, i didn't even get online. what's the world coming to! ;)

i was so bummed the other night.... Hamlet w/ Mel Gibson was on One TV and something went wrong w/ the cable and khalas... nothing. gosh, i was really looking forward to seeing that movie. i think Gibson plays the best Hamlet! ok, i've seen it prob five times... but it's soooo good. after studying and critiquing Hamlet in college, i have a new found appreciation for the whole play. actually, i think he's, by far, the best actor i've seen in the role. he fills it w/ such emotion... raw emotion. if you like Shakespeare, this is a must. some parts can be difficult to understand ... one, old English is tricky at times and two, there's a LOT going on and if you don't pay attention... well, you might as well forget about it. i'm hoping it'll come on again... but One TV doesn't replay things all too often. oh yeah, Glenn Close is also in the movie as his mother. she's wickedly great in it.

we saw a good movie, VERY artsy, the other night w/ Naomi Watts - we rented it. it was her very first role and, from what i heard, they had actually shelved the movie, but when she got famous, they decided to pull it back out and distribute it. it's called Ellie Parker. this is a weird movie... i really liked it, but i'm into these sort of things. she plays this girl that's trying to make it in Hollywood. she goes on one audition after another, has relationship issues, personal issues and yes... for all of you guys out there... there's even that all wanted **nudity**. not too much... but just in the right places. i thought it was original and a cool look at what it's like trying to become famous, *make-it* or just live... altho i don't know how much of it was based on fact and such. it's kinda slow in parts but the nice thing about rentals - in case you don't like it - you can stop watching it! :) i thought it was really good - but, hey, i think she's a good actress.

anyway... that's about it for me today. we're going to dinner tonight at our fav mexican hang-out and i'm soooo lookin' forward to having a margarita! :)

Cheers! :)

Friday, May 26, 2006

where's my mommy???

funny thing happened yesterday on the way into Marina Mall, ok, not funny, but...

we parked the car and started walking up to the store. on the way, i saw a little girl outside, prob 8 or 9 yrs old, screaming and crying for someone. me and the hubby both agreed it was her mother or parent. as we got closer, some Bahraini girl/woman asked the little girl something but didn't help out. the little girl walked inside and as we made our way into the front entrance, we headed to the security desk.

why they hadn't noticed this little girl is beyond me. but, there was another expat couple standing there who had also noticed her - so we weren't the only ones. thankfully, the guard took some action and they got the little girl before she disappeared into a store. when we left, we asked the guard and, thankfully, they found the mother.

you know... this really eerrrks me. i can't tell you how many times i've seen this same thing happen - a child is crying and is lost. this little girl was no different... altho the pain in her voice really grabbed my heart. i think i could've slapped the mother. this is the 3rd time we've seen this at Marina Mall.... i wonder what it is about this place? do the mother's get so caught up in shopping that their child ceases to exist or what? but hey, that happens everywhere here.

or is it that the nanny's/housekeepers should have been watching and it's their fault that the child got lost? i don't believe it's their responsibility? a mother if responsible for her child, plain and simple, right?!

if you're not going to watch and pay attention to your child or children, then leave them at home! most of the time the mother isn't interested any way. she's walking around talking to friends/relatives or on her mobile - and couldn't be bothered. the housemaid is bringing up the rear, carrying the child, pushing the child in a stroller, or watching and running after the kid. which i find ridiculous.

reminds me of that child that fell off the escalator over at A'Ali Mall. again, i would bet that the parents weren't paying any attention. is there some type of rule here that when your child hits a certain age you just stop caring?

but gosh, there was a 20% off sale yesterday, the place was packed... it would be easy to lose your child, right?

i told a girl this story and she just laughed and laughed, and proceeded to tell me about all the times her daughter has gotten lost and the steps her little girl takes to find her again. this is another moment that makes me go "hmmmmm"......

isn't it bad enough that prob over 1/2 of the population here, w/ children, ride around w/ their kids on their laps w/out seatbelts (and i'm talking babies here!), don't put their kids or babies in car seats, let their kids stand up while riding in the car or hang their bodies outside the car while moving.... and don't get me started on how many times i see the husband w/ the baby between him and the steering wheel!!

wouldn't it be wise to read the paper and see how many deaths are caused by a lack of .... hmmmm... there are so many words that could be added here.

it's a good thing that Bahrain doesn't have a prob w/ kids being abducted... or taken by strangers!! cuz if so, then all of these parents that walk around w/out paying attention to their little children would be in some serious trouble.

you know, when i was visiting my sister in calif., we went shopping w/ my niece in tow. never did she leave our sides. i can't imagine it. i can't imagine doing this to a child... not caring or watching over my baby... leaving a child w/ a housemaid ... i just don't get it and don't think i ever will.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

chop chop

decided to chop my hair off today. not too short but just something short and sassy. i like it and it's especially nice in this weather. decided to pamper myself and get a manicure and pedicure as well. :) the girl who did it was good, which is a nice change. usually they want to cut my toenails off on each side (down into the quick) which causes in-grown toenails, but all i had to do was mention it and she knew. so many of the ppl who do pedicures here don't know what they're doing. i've noticed that if you go to the Ritz or such places, they know how to do it properly.

i know so many here who complain of in-grown toenails. and all one has to do is look down at their feet and you can see why. their toenails are cut and shaped like upside down V's... i think that's the reason. i personally like french pedicures and like my toenails and fingernails to have a square shape... i guess a lot of ppl get accustomed to going to these little *salon in a shop* places that are on every corner where you get girls who really don't know what they're doing... and they've been having their toenails cut like this for years, so they're used to it.

i've tried a few of these places and each time, it's the same. they try to cut my toenails down into the quick and then they wind up globbing this pink liquid on 'em that stains my toe and nail... i guess as a preventative measure to keep you from getting an infection - or that's what i think. why else would they put that crap all over your toes??!!

because i get my hands dirty a lot, i don't bother w/ manicures often. sometimes i'll treat myself if they're looking particularly ugly or dry... and, i'm not one for long fingernails either... but, i must say, they do look really nice today, so i'm glad i did it.

i'm in somewhat of a bad mood. i've thought about going shopping - heard Marina Mall's having a sale on furniture and i want to go to the new Jassim plant store - so maybe that'll lift my spirits. the yard is looking particularly bare and we need some fertilizer for the grass, so who knows... maybe i'll get some new plants (if there are any) and do some gardening in a little while.
we're now having a prob w/ another one of our birds - Oprah. i'll swear.. i starting to think that there are evil eyes in this house or something. stuff just keeps happening!! altho, i try not to let myself think about those things and not believe in it.... i can't help but to wonder though. i'll write more about it later... it's lunch time.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

A poem

Silent Misery

Waiting in the shadows
As hunger cries
Skin stretched thin
Your silent whispers
Fill my aching heart
As I long to hold you
Soothe your soul
Until death comes
It’s but a minute, a day away
No longer will I see you
Searching, longing
Hiding, fighting
Bleeding in misery from
A life
That you didn’t choose

this is for the gray and white feral cat.... it's such unneeded misery....

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

the gray and white feral cat.....

one of the most troublesome things for me when i came to bahrain was all the wild (feral) cats everywhere. as an animal lover and an animal rights activist, it's hard to see this.

when i lived in the states, i was involved in programs where we'd capture, spay and release wild cats. i've done that here a few times but our vet thinks i'm a nut... no one does it here. there's a female white cat, i call her Momma Cat, who has had probably 15 litters since i've lived in this area. one cat, we call her Phoebe, had a litter of six kittens.... they all disappeared... i assume someone took them to the dumpster or dropped them. we got her spayed...

the cat above is a wild cat that i've seen in our neighborhood for a while. he's dying. i took this picture last week. i took food to this dumpster but he wasn't around and i hadn't seen him again until just a little while ago. the Momma Cat was outside wanting food, so i took some out to her. while i was standing there, i heard a cry and the gray and white cat was down by the dumpster. i called to him. he came. but he won't eat or drink anything. he's prob having kidney failure. he seems disoriented.... it breaks my heart to see it.

i know this is life and animals and people die... but it saddens me. my cat Chloe died of kidney failure last july. it was the worst two weeks.... every day she went down hill and there was nothing i could do to help her. i forced food and water down her at first, but then she started fighting me. i still tried.... but she didn't want it. she would go to the bathroom and cry for water - she always loved drinking from the faucet. i'd put her there and she wouldn't know what to do... she'd only cry.

she then started bleeding from her mouth. it breaks my heart still... and sometimes when i go in the bathroom, i can still smell it. she was my little baby and it was so hard to lose her. losing a beloved pet, for anyone who is an animal lover, is almost the worst thing. even tho i know that losing someone you love is also difficult... which i've also experienced.

i know the gray and white cat is on his last leg. i sat out there waiting to see if he'd eat. he'd go to the plate, look around and cry. i put water out for him, he sniffed at it and cried. he's so much thinner than the last time i saw him. he stumbles when he walks... just like Chloe.

his eyes are so sad... i wish i could love on him... i've tamed wild cats in the past... it takes a long time and a lot of patience, but it is possible. i have this ability w/ animals.... they come to me.... wild birds have, cats, squirrels.... but i think if you have a gentleness in you, are extremely patient and dont rush it... animals will come to you.

my heart goes out to this little gray and white cat. May God rest his soul !

Monday, May 22, 2006

insomnia city

last night i saw on some TV program that they're going to be remaking The Sound of Music. it got me to thinking about my favorite things and least favorite things.... and about writing.

it's weird but i always have all of my best thoughts and the most active imagination at night when it's midnight or past and i know i have to get up and go to work the next day. my mind races, i can't sleep and all i want to do is write. not having the freedom to write at night sucks. i find that in most cases i have to force sleep or take sleeping pills, and when i get up the next day.... all of those feelings that moved me the night before are gone. this is, by far, one of the worst feelings. i kick myself for not getting up and doing what my mind craves, but i don't and can't really. in the mornings, try as i might, that imaginative spirit - the thoughts and feelings - seem to have floated away, and nothing of any real sustenance ever surfaces. so i sit and wait, and wait, and wait.

once again... i find myself lost in thought.

i guess i could stay up but i'd suffer at the job. i can't think when i'm tired and what happens if i have to write a speech for the big guy! so... i don't stay up... i wish i could. but then.. i'd prob get tired! ;) and have no thoughts whatsoever, my body would insist on sleep, and all the chaotic thoughts would leave me... i can see it now, but i'm a bit of a fatalist.

i was thinking about my favorite things - a clothes dryer. i miss having a dryer in the house. i miss the warmth of the clothes, and i really miss the smell that fresh clean sheets have after having been in the dryer and then in the closet for a few days. aaaahhhh... when the pillows are cold and your head falls into that sweet cushion of softness... and the smell that fills your senses... Snuggle..... ummmm, there's nothing like it.

a dryer is next on our list... but it all makes me laugh because we had this plumber guy come to the house to inquire about installing the dryer. he made it seem like it's gonna be an impossibility. i could run around the house screaming, pulling my hair out, demanding a dryer... but what good would it do me. if the ppl don't know how to install it, the dryer becomes nothing but a fantasy and these types of fantasies tend to make me depressed. so i keep hoping... waiting... and thinking that some day, someone may be able to install a dryer.

i was reading this egyptian girl's blog and she was talking about the 16 things she wouldn't miss about Canada and the 16 things she would miss most. it got me to thinking about Bahrain. there are some things that i wish were different, so i'll list them here:

1. i wish the sky was blue w/ voluptuous clouds hanging in the distance. (the sky is yellow here and there are no clouds whatsoever - not even a peak of blue anywhere - it depresses me)

2. i wish the water wasn't salty from the tap. (it wrecks havoc on my hair, skin and clothing)

3. i wish the *cold* water from the tap wasn't hot in the summer (but i guess that's what happens when the water tanks are outside)... we could get a cooler but it seems like we have nothing but trouble w/ the water in our house, the water heaters and i'm not sure i want another headache

4. i wish that Bahrain had a recycling program... makes you wonder what this country will be like in 10 yrs time. makes me think of Egypt and the banks near the water around Cairo (the pyramids)... you could see nothing but trash where soil should be (i hope it doesn't get like that here)

5. i wish that so many women didn't wear black abayas. it is so depressing and reminds me of death. it seems like this whole country is in mourning all the time.

6. i wish there wasn't so much pollution. when we walk at night there are so many places where you can smell nothing but rotten eggs. it's disgusting and so bad for you. i have to cover my mouth and try not to breathe until we get past those certain areas. this is shame really.

7. i wish there were more places for a "really" good haircut and color. i miss my hairstylist!

this brings me to another point.... WHY do all the women refuse to cut their hair in this part of the world? i don't get it. they pull their hair up most of the time any way, so why not chop it off. i think it's all for show.... and i was told that it's a sexual thing for some women (haha, hee hee). and yeah... i guess the belly dancers like it...

but i say it looks old fashioned (the hair down to the waist).... get w/ the times and cut your hair!

Saturday, May 20, 2006

JD is in da howwwwse!!!!!!

oh MY GAAAAAWWWD... {extremely deep sigh}.... oh my gooooooooodness.... i just can't think.... i feel lightheaded..... yes, almost faint ;) ;) i can not contain myself... i can't even type!! :) look at that goateeeee! that hat! umm, umm, ummmm

for it is none other than................... JohNNy DePP !!!!!!

funny email i got from one of my nieces today... her fav actor - {deep inhale of breath} Mr. JD. i laughed a little.. it tickled me. i have been watching him since he was on 21 Jump Street! and almost died when he left the show because of that ridiculous .... i can't remember his name... ricko somebody.... ;)

for all of you out there who die, like me (and yes, my hubby will surely kill me for this post! ;0 ), for JD... well, there is a movie out that we rented - It Was Somethin' Else (lemme tell ya) - that's all i'm sayin. oh yeah.... it's called Libertine. ;)

his kids are so cute..... and look at their cute messy do's. i wonder what ppl would think if i dared to raise a child differently than what's expected?! i mean, is that a pacifer i see in that's kids mouth? the shame of it! ;) and i think that lil girl has bangs in her eyes! such cuteness...

i KNOW... beyond a shadow of a doubt... that if it happens... (birthing a baby that is) our child will be raised differently than most on this lovely island!! Inshallah..... yes, inshallah.... and i mean by these words for God to give me patience.... patience to deal w/ others, their ideas, they belief structures, their..., their.......

where was i??

p.s. that is JD's lovely, hippe chick, wife w/ the long wavey hair and shades.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

so, it's thursday....

this is a painting i did back in dec. 2003. it's one of my favorites. i call it Fire and Ice.

i've added a cute caricature to my flickr acct. that was done of me and the hubby while we were at the San Diego Zoo last month. it sorta resembles both of us... in some ways and some ways not. :)

i'm looking at transferring my blog and/or creating my own webpage. so, check back for details. i might do it tomorrow or the next day... depending. if so, i'll post it here.

but... i'm sorta in the mood to finish a few paintings that have been waiting patiently for me .... i guess it's been about 2 mths since i last painted, so i might do those first and then create my new acct.

today is like saturday in the states. it's been SO HOT outside today so i've spent most of the afternoon in doors. i have a headache from the heat, which sucks... so maybe i'll chill tonight w/ a good book or a new movie. i'm kinda wanting to go to the suq and get some copied movies ;0 ... so who knows.

for all of you coming up on your weekend... have a good one! oh yeah... made some delish fried green tomatoes the other night. i took a pic... i'll put it on flickr or post it here later. they were yummy! it's not often that we get the green tomatoes here but when we do... i'll grab em up! :)

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

who's afraid of the big bad wolf?!!

back when i was in the 10th grade, maybe 9th, my family was living in calif. i was visiting my older sister one day, and me and my niece and nephew decided to go to the park down the street from where my sister lived. she had an apt. in Fullerton or Buena Park, i think. the park was huge w/ lots of swingsets, jungle gym types of things, merry-go-rounds, just everthing. we were there for a while, having a good time - swinging, climbing around on the monkey bars and just running around chasing each other and acting stupid. i dont know how long it was, but i needed to go to the bathroom. so... we headed over to the outdoor bathroom area and i went inside the girl's bathroom, closed the stall door and proceeded to do my busines.

all of a sudden - i don't know how long i'd been in there - these latino guys (they looked like gang members to me) came in the bathroom. they were saying things and then they started trying to kick open my stall door and eventually did. it absolutely terrified me! they all got around the stall... and i'm talking about 4 or 5 guys, maybe more (i can't remember) and started saying stuff to me in spanish - i screamed - they laughed and told me to go ahead and scream because no one would hear me. where my niece and nephew were was beyond me.

i thought for sure they were going to rape me or something. they kept laughing and saying stuff in spanish - they would not leave me alone and they kept grabbing at me. all i know is that when a stranger(s) grabs you, you don't sit back and wait for something to happen. i screamed. i screamed over and over for God knows how long. it was prob only a few minutes but it seemed like forever.

i screamed to my niece until FINALLY she came in. she's only 4 yrs younger than me but she's a really big girl. i'm 5'8" and she towers over me. very tall and strong... her father was the same.

AND... even tho she was a girl, i guess her size or something scared them because as soon as she came in, they ran out - saying stuff in spanish. i told her what happened and she screamed a few cuss words at them... but they were already gone. i don't know what they were planning, if anything at all... but i know that i'll never forget it.

it's haunted me all of my life, really, and i find that i get scared easily of men like that. yeah, i know i'm basically stereotyping, and i try not to, but i still do it. i found myself doing it when we were in calif. last month. we were down in San Diego and there were several times that i would see someone and remember what happened. i guess the fear never leaves you.


i had another incident about 8 or 9 yrs ago in Plano, Texas. i love to rollerblade and i'd go out every day after work and rollerblade around the neighborhood. there were tons of apts. and ppl would always be out walking, running and even rollerblading so i always felt pretty safe. i'm a coward really. i don't do strange places by myself, obviously, so if something looks scary, i avoid it like the plague.

well, on this particular day, there weren't a lot of ppl out walking or anything - which was unusual - (it was prob around 4 or something) so i pretty much had the streets to myself - even tho i prefer to be around lots of ppl because it's safer, especially in the cities, i kept to my driven path.

i remember going down all the streets two or three times - there were lots of apts. in the area - so i'd go inside the apt. complexes and skate around the streets inside - just anything to get a workout. i was big on making sure that i was out for at least 40 mins. or so... i had a certain routine down and tried to stick to it. i'm obsessed that way.

i could prob call myself 'Leary' because i don't trust strangers really, especially men. so anytime i was out rollerblading, i was always on the look-out for strangers or the likes... i guess i was always waiting to see if i felt fear even tho i wanted to get my workout in - yeah, it's crazy but i'm driven that way.

i dont know about you guys, but i have this ability. if something bad is gonna happen, i can sense it. that day, i remember being afraid and i can remember skating into this one complex and immediately getting a weird feeling, so i turned around and headed back out and down the street of that area. i got to the end of that street, turned left and headed down the other street. all was fine.

there was this particularly long street coming up to my right that i hardly ever skated down but decided to do it that day. (i could see my apt. complex across the field from this street... it was all open and to the right there was another huge apt. complex - so it felt pretty safe). the only thing was, the street was totally empty or void of human rumblings.

i guess i was prob almost half way down the street when this white van passed me to the left. i always look at ppl.... so i looked right at them - i believe in making eye contact and being VERY AWARE of my surroundings. there were guys/men in this van and, once again, they were latino (not all are bad, i know that - but i was still scared). they looked right back at me... i can picture it in my head. i don't remember their faces or anything, but i remember what happened.

as soon as they passed me, i got a bad feeling. even still, i kept rollerblading down the street. but something made me stop. i got scared and didn't want to go any further... so i decided to turn back and head home. as i started down the street, i realized that the white van had parked and they were just sitting there in the van, and for some reason it terrified me. i had looked back at that van after it passed me and felt sure that it was headed down the street and everything was ok, but it wasn't. there was something inside of me that told me i couldn't go down to where that van was... BUT... no one was around - what was i gonna do?? i continued to skate down the street and when i started getting close to the apt. complex that was coming up on my right, three guys got out of the van and stood in the street, next to their van, like they were waiting for me. they were looking right at me. i stopped and stood there. i don't know how far i was from them... prob 3 or 4 car lengths... not sure. i was afraid.

these guys didn't move - they just stood there. i was afraid to turn around and go the other way because i was scared because i knew that i wouldn't be able to skate fast enough and they'd be able to run and grab me. i knew i couldn't skate past them because i knew they weren't going to let me pass. so i stood there doing nothing, UNTIL....

all of a sudden, out of nowhere, two guys came from out of the apts. and started walking down the sidewalk.... i decided that this was my chance ... and something lifted and i knew i'd be okay.
i rollerbladed right over to where they were walking and kept a slow pace behind them. those latino guys got back in their van, started it, turned it around and sped away. i skated as fast as i could down that street and the two other streets to my apt.

when i got home, i told my mother about it. i was so afraid that i never rollerbladed down that street again (yeah, i'm a wimp but do you blame me!!?)... matter of fact, i didn't rollerblade for a long time after that. decided to take up running on the treadmill at the gym :) much safer. i never saw that van again. i wish i had gotten the license number... but i wonder if it would have done any good. they didn't do anything to me - it would have been my word against theirs - but i knew that day that something bad was going to happen, thankfully my angels came, in the nick of time, and it didnt!

Monday, May 15, 2006

my lil ole fetish

the other day i came upon a friend that has the same fetish as me... and that's a fetish for the greatest and all greats...

the flip flop.

i adore flip flops. i have prob 15 or so pairs of them and still could buy more. matter of fact, i added to my collection when we were in the States but after buying the 3rd or so pair, the honey wouldn't allow any more, saying that he thought i had enough flip flops. :(

i love to take pics of my feet in flip flops... don't know why, but i think it's cute. i have all kinds. some have jewels adorning the tops, some have lil flowers sewn to the tops, some are very plain and simple, some i've had for years - but gosh they are soooo comfy i just can't part w/ them -, some hurt my feet but i keep wearing them cuz i know that one day they'll get 'broken in '. they're just so cute and they go w/ most everything. when we were in the States, Old Navy had tons of them in every conceivable color on earth, but sadly, i only got white. i could have bought one of each brilliant, beautiful color... but... i didn't! :( sometimes it's better to go shopping by yourself... that way you can come home w/ the bag and say ... "oh but look how cute they are... they go w/ so many things"... and then how can they turn ya down!! ;) hehehe

i have also been known to go up to complete strangers and ask where they bought their flip flops... i always get the lowdown and run over to get myself a pair (but i'm obsessed!).... and once.. when out shopping for shoes, i actually had a Bahraini girl ask me where i got my flip flops (that was a first), but sadly, the ones i had on had been purchased in the States. she loved them so i told her where i got them and such. she was such a cutie and so sweet.

i don't see a lot of Bahraini girls wearing flip flops. sometimes i do, but not often. wonder why. i see more of a younger crowd wearing them here and expats, but that's about it. me, i like comfort and what's easy... but i'm a lil hippie chick. even still, i think everyone should have at least 5 pairs! and you know... i was able to persuade the hubby to get a few pairs... and he loves 'em! how can ya not!

Sunday, May 14, 2006

Happy Mother's Day

Today is Mother's Day in the U.S. I think about my mom and wonder how she'll spend her day.

I miss her so much. It's too hard to even think about.

I've read a lot of blogs of girls who've lost their mothers.... so I feel lucky to still have her, but.... to live so far away - across the world - well, it's difficult. My mom hates that we live here and wishes that we lived down the street... so do I. But, we don't. So I try to make the best of it and just call a lot. It helps, but there's still that stinging pain deep inside my soul from being so far away.

Happy Mother's Day Mom.... I hope you have a beautiful and glorious day! I miss you.

Saturday, May 13, 2006

I can not resist......

last night, whilst walking down the street of our hood, me and the hubby heard someone say, "meow" as a car pulled up behind us. so, as not to be rude, we turned around and it was none other than......

Suzie Stupid and her other retarded half, Walkin Weirdo... and to our complete and utter surprise, Suzie Stupid had their itsy bitsy bundle of joy plopped down on her lap in the front seat! w/out a seat belt... not that it would help, but it could. (where in the hell was the baby seat was the first thing that came to my mind?!)

well, needless to say, i couldn't help but to let the words shoot from my mouth - yes, i'm so good at keepin' things in - so i said, "why isn't your bundle of joy in a car seat, do you realize how dangerous it is to drive around w/out a car seat?" Suzie Stupid immediately said, "we have one but it's in the other car".

oh okay... that explains it. funny that every time i see Suzie Stupid she is driving around w/ that lil bundle of joy on the housemaid's lap in the back seat of the car w/out a freakin car seat. every time i see her and Walkin Weirdo driving someplace, they don't have the car seat!!

so... w/out delay, i then added, "well, i sure hope you don't have an accident cuz if you do, kiddie poo will be headed right into the windshield" (ok, maybe i didn't use those exact words).... well, Suzie Stupid gave one of those looks and changed the subject immediately w/out saying a word. and... Walkin Weirdo just sat there like the idiot that he is... and you know, he has a college education! but has never been out of Bahrain. (insert instance where you wanna go, "hmmm")

oh, i'm sure if something were to happen, i would be the and it prob would be said that i have evil.eyes BUT... i don't give a rat's ass, truthfully because i know why i said what i said.

when are ppl gonna speak up and make ppl accountable for what's happening w/ children in this country? how many children have to die in car accidents for ppl to realize how serious this issue is and to take heed??? oh but gosh darnit... how can the bundle of joy leave a mother's or, rather, housemaid's arms? they can't even put the child down so how in the world can they put the lil thang in a car seat!

the thought of her and Walkin Weirdo drivin 'round w/ that baby sittin' on her lap w/ no protection is almost more than i can stand. i've said things in the past and no one listens. i've said things to the honey and he basically said that it doesn't make any difference, Suzie Stupid and Walkin Weirdo will not listen and they don't care. plain and simple.

hubby said that when and only when an accident happens and the bundle of joy is hurt.... that's when they'll wish they had listened.

ya know what really smacks ya is the fact that Suzie Stupid looked as though she was gonna laugh as they drove off into the darkness.....

so what to do? i'm sick of it all really. i can't even stand to be around it. the hubby recently got a t-shirt at Disney that says, "i'm surrounded by idiots"... i think i should wear it the next time i'm around them and then explain it. hmmm.. but would they understand?

things that make you say OMG!!!!

my lil sis, jahooni, passed on these lil jewels to me and i thought i'd share - yep, i just couldn't help myself - i know, i'm somewhat demented -but don't ya love it! if these don't make you say, oh my gaawwwd... nothing else will ! hehehehehe

enjoy! oh yeah... p.s. i really think the cutie in the bathing suit should win some type of an award..... don't you?

Friday, May 12, 2006

for those of you....

you may be interested, we decided to drive around today and take some more photos. we were gonna go to Al Bandar but it's too busy... so we decided to go into Manama, which is the capital of Bahrain.

also... wanted to point out that Muharraq is NOT a village, but a major city... you'd think that after living here for three (yes, three) years, i would know these things... but thankfully Mahmood (Mahmood's Den) has been kind enough to enlighten me ! ;)

today, i decided to combine both the old and new. Manama has so many new buildings that it's hard not to.

i hope you enjoy the photos.

p.s. i'm starting to work w/ my shyness of taking pics of strangers. i hope as i overcome the fear, my pics will get better and better.

Windy Day

today's another windy one. we're lookin' at going to Al Bandar this afternoon, so check back latr for some pics.

i'm also uploading some new photos that i took yesterday in Muharraq. i'm concentrating on the old parts of the village right now... which happens to be my favorite. i'm hoping to take more today.

i'm working w/ my digital camera so i find that many pics are blurry, especially when i zoom in, so i have to scrap 'em... and since we don't have a scanner right now and i haven't researched to see if there are any photo places on the island that puts ur pics on a CD for ya... i'm just outta luck right now.

hope everyone has a happy friday. back to work tomorrow... so enjoy the day!

Thursday, May 11, 2006

today - consumed w/ lyrics

out cruisin in the car, listenin' to John Lennon... and U2 {deep sigh} thinking about Lennon's life and how tragic it all was - his death. never been a beatles fan really, but i loved me some John Lennon. i still remember the day he was killed. all the ppl who gathered in NY... seeing the footage still gets to me. i have such admiration for his music, his lyrics. one song that i haven't listened to in a while but, for some reason... today, really stuck to me - Working Class Hero. here's the lyrics:

As soon as your born they make you feel small,
By giving you no time instead of it all,
Till the pain is so big you feel nothing at all,
A working class hero is something to be,
A working class hero is something to be.
They hurt you at home and they hit you at school,
They hate you if you're clever and they despise a fool,
Till you're so fucking crazy you can't follow their rules,
A working class hero is something to be,
A working class hero is something to be.
When they've tortured and scared you for twenty odd years,
Then they expect you to pick a career,
When you can't really function you're so full of fear,
A working class hero is something to be,
A working class hero is something to be.
Keep you doped with religion and sex and TV,
And you think you're so clever and classless and free,
But you're still fucking peasents as far as I can see,
A working class hero is something to be,
A working class hero is something to be.
There's room at the top they are telling you still,
But first you must learn how to smile as you kill,
If you want to be like the folks on the hill,
A working class hero is something to be.
A working class hero is something to be.
If you want to be a hero well just follow me,
If you want to be a hero well just follow me.

today is the first time i've listened to him in... it's been too long.

an independent movie is being made about the killing - Chapter 27. Lennon's role hasn't been cast yet... hmmmm... i wonder who it'll be???

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Something we should all hear....

Today, at my office, we had an hour 1/2 lecture that was given by Dr. Banna Bu Zaboon who is President of the Bahrain Society to Resisit Family Violence. The talk was in Arabic, the slide show was in Arabic, but I had a trusted friend and colleague to translate a lot of it to me. :)

I am so proud of Dr. Bu Zaboon for coming and giving this lecture. I'm really proud of the dept. w/in our office that arranged this lecture... but what surprised me is the lack of involvement by people in the office. We had about 40 people show up out of hundreds and hundreds of employees. This was somewhat surprising but not really. So many people don't want to hear this stuff and close their eyes to abuse... it's a shame really. Especially seeing that it happens a lot here but because of the stigma attached to sharing, opening up, complaining, reporting it... the shame associated w/ it that comes to your family or your spouse's family... many cases go unreported or nothing is ever done to stop it.

Even tho the lecture was in Arabic, I got the pamphlets that were handed out which were in English and Arabic, and was able to get commentary on a lot of the gory details by my trusted friend. There WAS one guy who got into an argument w/ the Dr. saying that he didn't believe what she was saying and that he's worked in the mosques and what she said just wasn't happening because he had never seen it.

This is some of what she was saying to the audience:

The Dr. talked about abuse in families. How women who are being abused go to their mosques for help but the Imams/Sheikhs refuse to help them. She talked about how the women **know** when they walk in to speak w/ the Imam if they're going to get help based on whether or not he has a smile on his face or a frown. These women have been told to go back to their husbands even when they're being abused - severely. The Sheikhs want to see their arms or the places where they've been hit or they want to see a drs. letter stating that they were abused... and even still, they refuse to help these women. Many times the woman is made to go home, build a wall, and stay w/ the husband because, more often than not, the husband refuses to give a divorce. She told story after story about women being beaten by their husbands and how the Sheikhs refuse to sign the divorce papers.

The Sheikhs usually side w/ the male and refuse compensation to the woman if they do get a divorce, many times drs. refuse to write anything about the abuse because the woman is from a well-known family and they don't want to get involved, the police refuse to help because they want the woman to prove that she's been beaten. Even when children come forward and side w/ the woman, they refuse to believe it and send them home to stay w/ the husband.

She talked about how families refuse to get involved and make it almost impossible for the woman to leave. They feel as though it is her place to stay in the marriage.

She talked about women who abuse their husbands, and how there's a woman who is using her daughter against her husband because he wants a divorce. She refused to allow him to see the daughter for three years because he divorced her. She told stories that he was abusing the daughter and that the daughter was afraid of the father, but when they brought the father in w/ the child, the little girl ran to the father, held him and it was obvious that no abuse was happening. This same woman even wanted the Dr. to write a letter stating that the daughter was being abused... all in an attempt to get the husband to come back to her.

She also told a story about a drug user who is severly beating his wife. He refuses to leave and give her a divorce. They went to the mosque, asking for help, and were told to build a wall in the house - the woman on one side, the man on the other - and to live like this. So, she did it. Now, the husband climbs over the wall and abuses her. He put poison on top of the wall and on her side trying to kill her.... but still the Sheikhs/Imams refuse to give them a divorce.

The Dr. told a story about this man who makes BD.2,000.000 a month. His wife wanted money monthly from her husband. Since the man was friends w/ this particular Imam, the Imam refused to give the woman what she was asking for in cash and gave her a drastically reduced amount. When the woman took the bank papers to the Imam and showed him that the man had BD.70,000.000 in his acct., the Imam dismissed it and said that it wasn't real, it was only paper.

Time and time again the Sheikhs aren't helping. They refuse to help these women and they wind up going back to the relationship where they continue to be abused.

It is a sad and vicious cycle. Abuse is something we can not hide from any longer. I'm so glad that the Dr. came today and spoke about this. I only wish it was mandatory for all to listen and go to this lecture, and mandatory to get involved - one way or another. It's only when people start talking about it, admitting that there is a problem, will the problem start to get better.

So... there are many different types of abuse, as we all should know. There's emotional, physical, sexual and even verbal abuse. It's not always a man that's doing it... women are also guilty of it.
Stand up everyone... stand up and be heard. Stop the violence. It's everyone's right to be free and to feel secure.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Sex Education - Good or Bad??

Today, in the GDN, there is an article about teaching children sex education. I completely agree w/ this and believe it should be mandatory in schools. If you haven't read the article, please do, and then see my comments below.

Sex education 'a child's right'
By Begena George

CHILDREN's right to sex education was highlighted yesterday at a talk show organised by the voluntary group Helpline at the Carlton Hotel, Adliya. The event aimed to break the silence about sex and build a bridge between young people, adults and professionals.

"It is widely accepted that young people have a right to sex education because it is a means they can protect themselves against abuse, exploitation, unintended pregnancies, sexually transmitted diseases (STD) and Aids," said Helpline spokeswoman Mariam George.

"Young people can be exposed to a wide range of attitudes and beliefs in relation to sex and sexuality which sometimes appear contradictory and confusing.

"Owing to Bahrain being an Islamic country, sex and sexuality are sensitive subjects and cultural influences restrict open discussions between parents and children.

"However, young people need to understand the moral and cultural framework that binds sex and sexuality."

Present at the function were Helpline volunteers and a panel of professionals who led the discussions.

They included consultant family physician and National Aids Committee head Dr Somaya Al Jowder, American Mission Hospital dermatologist and consultant for STD Dr Bhartendu Mehta, Arabian Gulf University professor Dr Ahmed Abdul Ghaffar Al Garf and freelancing counsellor Alison Dunkley.

"Sometimes it can be difficult for adults to know when to raise issues on sex," said Ms George.

"However, the important thing is to maintain an open relationship with children which provides them with opportunities to ask questions when they have them."

"Parents can also be proactive and engage young people in discussions about sex, sexuality and relationships."

Volunteers Jiju Varghese and Manzoor Moideen were the moderator and event co-ordinator of the talk show that was attended by around 150 people.

Helpline is open to all nationalities to provide friendship, guidance and referral to people in distress by listening, empathising, caring and accepting.

Correspondence with the group volunteers on any specific issues or sharing of thoughts can be sent to, which will be kept confidential.

I ask this question pertaining to this particular sentence in the article ("Owing to Bahrain being an Islamic country, sex and sexuality are sensitive subjects and cultural influences restrict open discussions between parents and children.).... WHY is talking about sex restricted between the parent and child????? WHY WHY WHY??

Of course it is a sensitive subject but why, because of cultural influences, is it restricted? This is something that boggles my mind and I'm obviously in the dark about this taboo, maybe because I wasn't raised here. It's not like a child doesn't see sexual situations on television - watch any Egyptian movie and you'll see tons of ppl in sexual situations... watch an Arabic soap opera and you're thrown right in the middle of sexual situations... watch any music video and sex hits you in the face... so... why aren't parents talking about it? They allow their children to watch this stuff on TV, right? I know I see children watching this stuff.... but shhhhhh... hahahah, let's just laugh and pretend it doesn't exist.

I guess it would be easier to let them learn the hard way, hmmmm? Sexual molestation is on the rise in Bahrain... you read about it all the time in the paper, and that doesn't even take into account all the things that happen that aren't reported. Wouldn't it be wise to teach your child the fundamentals of life, including what is wrong and right about sex. I would think that teaching your child, at a healthy age, about sexual predators would be highly beneficial. oh gosh... but maybe if you talked about sex then your daughter might want to go out and have sex w/ her boyfriend or, even worse, a girl (and yes, it does happen). Let us not forget that ppl are having sex in this country every day, they're having affairs every day, they're involved in homosexual relationships every day, children are being molested..... no matter if you're not talking about it... it is still happening.

We had Sex Ed in the 6th grade, although we were taught about our female issues in the 4th. In the 6th grade, the classroom had both boys and girl in it. Oh yeah, it was embarrassing, let me tell ya, but... it answered a LOT of questions. There was laughing and giggles in the room, but everyone paid attention. I think it's very important to do this. Not that it will stop anything from happening, but at least, the child is informed. If the parent isn't going to discuss it or CAN'T... then someone needs to get this out in the open.

The true meaning of the word "Failure" !!

I came across this today and thought I'd be nice, for a change, and share:

1- Go to Google
2- Type in the word "Failure"
3- Instead of clicking "Google Search", click "I'm Feeling Lucky"
4- Tell everyone before the good ole folks at Google **fix** it!

Happy day everyone.... I think my bitter side has returned! ;)

Monday, May 08, 2006


Today I finished reading Ali Al Saeed's book QuixotiQ. I started reading it over a month ago and had intended to read while on vacation, but as things happened, I didn't, so I put off getting back into it until I came back home. I found that I had to go back and re-familiarize myself w/ the characters somewhat so that I could read w/out wandering what was happening, but it was well worth it.

Over the last few days, I've been hounded by a longing to finish it... sneaking in and getting a read with every chance I got - even if it meant reading while at work. ;)

I'm not a critic/reviewer or novelist (even tho I'd like to be), but here are my thoughts/feelings on his first English novel. Let me point out... I do not want to give anything away about the novel, so I won't give a lot of details... I think you should read it and find out for yourself. I thoroughly enjoyed it and it was a good thriller.

QuixotiQ is a serious novel (thriller), addressing the day-to-day struggles/life circumstances of three people. People who are just like you and me. These ppl could be you, they could be your friends, your family or even co-workers... they are just people facing life's challenges and wanting to get by, but through a series of unfortunate and compelling events, their lives change forever - in a drastic and very sad way, in most cases.

There are two men who are the main characters - Guy and Patrick. There are other men in the story who have important roles but the story mainly focuses around these guys and the main female character, a girl named Christina. I found myself identifying w/ Christina and feeling sadness for her, and also cheering her on. Even tho you may not believe it - if you've read the book - I found myself feeling a lot of compassion for Guy, even though many probably wouldn't feel that way, I did. My heart ached through each horrible event, and I only wished and hoped for the best to happen to him. He seemed to fall into one hell hole after another... and w/ each, he pulled everyone in with him - no one seemed to be able to escape.

What I thought was so real to life was the fact that these people faced hardships, incredible sadness and loss, they longed and sought out love and comfort, dealt w/ death in the worst possible ways, dealt with nightmarish/warped sense of realities, but they continued along their paths/journeys in life... they continued to survive.

I felt that they were guided by the misfortunes and unhappy circumstances that seemed to plague all of them, and these misfortunes are what eventually lead them to one another - as well as their dreams/visions. Dreams played a big role in this book. Not only that but how they dealt w/ the information given to them in their dreams. Everyone has dreams... but do we all listen to them? Guy, Patrick and Christina did... but did they have a choice? These dreams had relevance in their lives - these dreams could have saved lives even... but sometimes w/ dreams... we don't listen or in some cases, we can do nothing to change fate... what is meant to be is meant to be.

When I got a little over half way through the book, I didn't want to put it down. I knew what was about to happen and I couldn't stand it. I found that I didn't want to read further but I couldn't help myself. I love it when a book does that to me... there isn't a better feeling... at least I don't think so.

The story is very descriptive. Ali has a good way of describing situations and bringing you into his world and the world of the characters. I could feel a connection w/ all of the characters and have had dreams that are vital to situations, and have felt the tug of trying to make the right decisions in life and what life deals to me, and sometimes even getting a bad gutt feeling about something, but having no other choice but to do it anway. This is what these characters did. They lived their lives.

It was a difficult read at times... one reason is because I would have to stop and look up words. I hate to admit it, but it is a fact. Sometimes, at various places, the editing could have been better... but it was easy for me to read past this. Sometimes I found that I would get lost and would have to go back and reread because situations were ever changing, and sometimes reality was mixed with the dream world, and this was hard for me to 'make sense out of' at times.

With this said, Ali is an excellent writer. He captivates the reader and pulls you into his character's lives immediately and takes you on a journey that is hard to turn away from. He is very explicit and descriptive, which I find quite enjoyable when reading. I'm one that loves to be whisked away and consumed by a novel, and this is one that accomplished that for me.

I applaud you Ali for writing so well. I only hope that one day I will be able to write with such force and creativity. You have accomplished what so many dream of... and I'm looking forward to reading more of your work.

Btw, I read your three short stories and rated them. They were so very good. I loved A Touch of Gloss. It was my favorite... the Purple Rose came in a close second.... but, as soon as I say that, I wonder if the Bullshitter wasn't the second. ;) Keep up the great work. I wish you tons of success. I think the QuixotiQ would be good for books on tape, and even a movie!

Sunday, May 07, 2006

Henry's heart is broken.... and so is mine

It's been three days today since Fonda got out. Henry and Fonda (named after Henry Fonda) are our two large Parakeets.

It was Thursday in the morning... the last time I saw her. I gave them all a shower w/ water. She loved it. She stretched out her wings and let me soak her. Henry did the same. They were partners - she and Henry. We've had them for about a year 1/2. You can't hold them but they don't bite. They're both very shy but Fonda was the shyest of the two. She always seemed so skeptical and unsure... and now she's gone.

That day, I gave them their bath and told my husband that we should let them out in the bathroom, which we've done before w/out a problem. He agreed, but as we were letting them out, I had a bad feeling... and ignored it. I wish I hadn't. We've let them out in the bathroom before for a day and a night and never had a problem... I don't understand why it happened this time. I guess she wanted to be free....

I think she must have escaped through the fan/vent in the bathroom. That's the only explanation I have. I've seen her sitting up on it before and after the hubby got up and put his hand through it on Friday, it's obvious that it opens wide and would be big enough to let her slip through. I sit and wonder about this and wonder what happened to her after she went through. Was she able to fly immediately? Did she hurt herself? Where is she? Why haven't I heard her outside or seen her? It makes me wonder if she's dead.

I've looked all about for her. I've called to her but nothing. I look in the trees, on the bldgs.... everywhere. I watch every day for a glimmer of hope but still I see no Fonda. I opened the windows in the TV room hoping she'd fly home but she hasn't. I was hoping that she'd hear Henry, her loving partner, call to her (which he has done) and fly back, but she didn't. I did some research on the net and found that you should put out bird cages w/ food and sometimes they'll come back. We did this but still nothing. They say it takes two days for the birds to go back to their natural instincts... and if the bird is smart, they'll be able to survive... IF there are feeders in the neighborhood and such. There aren't such in this neighborhood. There are lots of cats who are hungry... and she'd be a tasty meal, I'm sure!

Henry is so upset and lonely. My heart breaks for him. He does nothing but cry/squak every day all day long. I know he must miss her. They were so good together. He would feed her. They'd share food and share tearing up their toys together. It was obvious they loved each other and now she's gone. I put a mirror in his cage tonight. Right now he's sitting next to it and he talks quietly to it sometimes. He is going to roost there this evening.... and it makes me sad.

My husband said that we should let him go... but I don't know what to do. I feel like maybe we should but I know that the chances of him surviving are slim.. so, to me, it's like sending him to certain death and I'm not comfortable doing that. I've never had caged birds before coming to Bahrain... and I'm not a fan of it. Now I know why the caged bird sings... it longs to be free. I told my husband that we should get him a mate... it's the only solution I can think of. Setting him free would be nice but how will he get food? There are no places around here w/ outside bird feeders. He's not afraid of cats... so one could easily get him.

I am so sad and so is Henry. It breaks my heart to see him standing there w/out his mate. My heart aches for him.... the poor little thing. And poor Fonda... I only hope and pray that she's ok. That she has found everlasting freedom... one way or another.

Pics of TomKat's TomKitten - Baby Suri

W/out further delay, we give you Baby Suri.

Tom and Katie's bundle of joy arrived April 18th. This is the first photo of the child.

Look at those big, alien eyes. Isn't she adorable! ;) I think she looks like Tommy Boy.. don't you?

A Funny

Saturday, May 06, 2006

Madonna's Spread in W Magazine

Madonna's latest is a layout for W Magazine - this is a sample of some of the pics courtesy of Pink is the New Blog. I think there are like 50+ pics of her in the mag. Looks like *maybe* she's up to her old tricks to grab attention - little bit of whips & chains and such should do the trick, eh?! I wonder if she'll let her children see these? I absolutely love Madonna and I only wish I could see her on tour for her Confessions concert. I'm totally bummed and for all of you that get to see her... well, piss off!

If you haven't heard her latest album, it's the best. I listen to it all the time and it's the kind of album, for me at least, that you don't get sick of. Lots of dance tracks w/ great lyrics and some really sweet beats. They stick in your head... I find myself singing 'em all the time, and I've been listening to it since Christmas this past year - and that's really good for me. Usually I get sick of an album w/in a short period of time but not w/ this one. Even the hubby really likes it... and that's saying a LOT. It's actually inspired him to start his next album! FINALLY! :)

Her album's called - Confessions on a Dance Floor. I love so many of the tracks - many of them seem like they were written just for me. But hey, I say that every time ..... I don't think anything she does disappoints ... ok, maybe the Sex book.. but hey... sometimes you just do things.

Friday, May 05, 2006

z z z z z z z z z z z.... Dreams

Dreams are a fascinating thing... you can have all different kinds that mean all sorts of different things. There are scary dreams, stress dreams, funny dreams, nightmares, happy dreams, sexual dreams... you name it and you can dream about it.

When I was in college, I had a human development class and we started analyzing dreams. Our task was to wake up after every dream and write down the specifics of the dream. This may sound, to some, like an impossibility, but it's not. It's really amazing how powerful the mind is and what a person is capable of doing during sleep.

If you tell yourself, in the right way, to wake up after every dream, you will do it. We were all successful and what I found was that I wasn't getting any sleep. It was tough going for a while but I learned a lot of interesting things. One very specific thing I learned was how to manipulate my dreams, which has proved successful to me w/ nightmares. Matter of fact, I really don't have them any more... maybe every once in a while but it's been a long time.

I think my favorite dreams are of flying. I haven't had one of these in such a long time but I love them. There's nothing like the feeling of flying through the air w/out any fear. You can take off w/out any problem, fly so fast and land so easily... gosh, only if it were true in real life, huh.

I also absolutely love water dreams. I've had many a dream where I can breathe under water. There'll be a whole world under the water and it all seems so natural - the living under water and breathing w/out a problem. I can't remember all the details of the last one I had... but I remember parts of it. These are such calming dreams... both the flying and water ones. When I've awaken from these dreams, I've always wanted to be able to do the things that I did when I was asleep. The underwater world fascinates me to no end.

Stress dreams really get to me. Some of my LEAST favorite stress dreams are going to school w/out my shirt on or w/out my shoes or just one shoe. The weird thing is that no one seems to notice except me. I walk around completely paranoid of someone noticing but they never do, and usually when I've forgotten a shoe, I can never remember where it is. I've also had dreams to where I was naked at the pool and swimming around and so afraid that someone would see but they never do. I can never remember where my bathing suit is... it's so odd.

I used to have a lot of dreams about school. I would go to school and, come to find out, it's the last day and I have exams but I'm not ready. I can't remember where any of my classes are and I can't even remember where my locker is to get my books. I always hate these kind. They're always so frantic and so full of full blown stress. My sympathy to all you that are having these dreams... they suck.

One dream that I used to have a lot was of ppl chasing me and trying to kill me or trying to sneak into my apartment to kill me. I remember these dreams, almost every detail. I remember the apartment, the way it looked and I remember how the men were climbing up the outside beams to the porch to try to kill me and how I'd be inside hiding and watching them, and waiting. I could never find a place to hide that would protect me. I always knew they were going to get me no matter what.

Well, one thing I learned was how to confront ppl and circumstances in your dreams. I was taught how to approach the situation and it has really worked. The last time I had that dream was prob about ... hmmmmm.... 10 years ago, maybe less, I can't remember. It was the same dream but this time I screamed out asking the men what they wanted and what they were doing. They never answered me but they were gone in a flash and I woke up... I've never had this dream again. This is not to say that I haven't had other scary dreams and/or nightmares because I have and sometimes I stop it and sometimes I don't remember to do it.

I talk in my sleep during dreams especially if I'm mad. I've been known to swing my arms and hit you on accident - but never by accident in my dreams. ;) I've fallen out of bed w/ dreams.. but thankfully not in a long time. Oh yeah, when I was younger (not a little child), I would dream that I had to use the bathroom (which I did in real life), I'd get out of bed, make my way to the bathroom... and then... almost w/out fail, I would sit down and A L M O S T go to the bathroom. I learned real quick how to stop that.

When I was a teenager, we'd pull tricks on my cousins. I'd spend the night w/ my cousin and we'd sneak into her brother's room after he fell asleep and stick his finger in warm water... we always thought he'd wet the bed, but he'd just wake up and get pissed (literally!)... one of her brothers, I heard, used to sleepwalk and he'd stand at the top of the stairs and use the bathroom down the stairs. I'm sure he's never lived that down.

Thursday, May 04, 2006


Do you believe in ghosts? And.. if so, do you think that ghosts are mean spirited or good spirited or both? Do you think they'll ever go to heaven? Why do you think they're here?

I believe in ghosts. I know there's a bldg. here in Bahrain that's supposed to be haunted. The hubby has told me some stories about it and how tenants have never been able to stay in that bldg. But, you know.. we drive by there and I see lights on, so are ppl staying in this bldg. now?

When I was a young girl... hmmm, I think I was in probably the 4th grade, maybe a little younger. I was at home playing w/ one of my friends and we decided to play hide and seek. My mom and dad weren't home, so it was only the two of us in the house.

Well, I was afraid of my mom and dad's bedroom for some reason. Always had been. They had this long mirror in there w/ a huge closet behind it, and I was always really afraid of that closet... it just spooked me. But, hey, I was the kind of kid that ALWAYS watched scary movies late at night and would be sooo afraid that I couldn't go to the bathroom w/out turning on all the lights in the house, and I definitely couldn't go to bed by myself for fear that the monster under my bed would get me. But.. it didn't keep me from watching scary movies! ;) I hate them now.. but it's for completely other reasons.... hmmm, or maybe not.

Anyway... we decided to play hide and seek. She decided to do the counting and I was the one to hide. For some really weird reason, I decided to hide in my mom and dad's room. There was a window in the room and as I was crouching down by the door, I looked over at the window and saw my friend walk past - I saw the top of her head go past the window. I stood up and reached for the doorknob, started opening the door and, at that very moment, something or some force was on the outside - in the hall - and pulled it the other way. The door pulled shut and I couldn't turn the knob. I could feel the force from the other side of the door and it scared the bajeebers out of me, let me tell ya. I remember being really afraid and not knowing what to do. I remember screaming to my friend and in a panic I reached for the door again and started to pull it open and, just like that {finger snapping} the door released and flew open.

There was nothing there. My friend wasn't in the house.... so I have no idea what caused that. Ok.. maybe you could say it was stuck. But I don't think so. I couldn't even turn the doorknob once I started opening it and then the force of whatever it was pulled it shut from the other side. oooohhhhhhh... I never went in that room again and we did move from that house. But I bolted outside and told my friend... we stayed outside in the yard until my mom came home.

My mom has had bad experiences w/ ghosts and a few of my aunts have as well. When my aunt was pregnant a long time ago, my mom went out to her house (which was a really old country house out in nowhere land in Indiana) to stay w/ her. Well, one night when my mom was upstairs sleeping she heard my aunt call her name a few times and she was mouning. My mom panicked thinking something was wrong w/ her, so she ran to the stairs but no one was there. She went to my aunt's room and she was asleep in her bed.

While my aunt lived in this same house, they would wake up in the morning and find the wood pile stacked in the middle of the floor, the stove from the kitchen would be out in the middle of the room, they would hear ppl walking around at night... just really weird stuff.

My sister-in-law told me that when she was a little girl at home playing w/ her sisters they heard the front door open but no one was there. They went over to the table in that room and saw watery footprints across the floor, but no one was in the house.

So... who believes in ghosts and what experiences have you had?

Obsessed w/ being T H I N

Seems like nowadays most of the American population is obsessed with being skinny, skinny, skinny. Look at the likes of Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, Nicole Richey, Kate Bosworth, Kate Moss, Ashley Olsen, Nicole Kidman, Teri Hatcher, and the list goes on and on and on.....

What about the reality shows like Doctor 90210 - complete sleeze - which has made plastic surgery a staple and a complete necessity in today's society. If you don't have a flat stomach, they'll fix ya up. Don't worry about working out, eating right and taking care of yourself - it's no longer about that. In some circles it is, but not usually.

With stars and shows like these, girls can no longer feel secure w/ their own body types. They feel the need to go out and get breast enlargements, nose jobs, tummy tucks, liposuction, face lifts..... and everyone is always on a diet or on drugs. There are rumors that half of Hollywood is riding the horse (heroin), and let's not forget about the nose candy (cocaine).

Really, I don't think that I know one single person who isn't on a diet or hasn't been on a diet at some time in their life. Even small kids are getting into it. They see their mommies dieting all the time and obsessed w/ counting calories, so they naturally follow their lead.

All you see on magazine covers are super models and actresses/actors w/ rail thin bodies. Ok, sometimes you see chubby chicks, but it's not that often. These ppl are glamorized and everyone knows they live the high life, they always are happy (that's real life), are successful, have the best clothes - basically, they never want for anything... or is it that simple? I know it's made to look like that.

Even guys make it hard on women. They expect and want girls that are super thin because all their lives they've seen nothing but this, all the movie stars look like that, all the models look like that, and isn't that what life is all about?

And yes, there are those girls that make it hard on guys. I know many a girl that would never settle for a man who didn't work out and keep his muscles pumped up, drive the best car, have a killer job..... we all know the game.

What is the world turning to? Pink has a song called Stupid Girls. In the song and, especially, the video, she makes fun of the likes of Paris, Lindsay and Ashley Olsen. She's been criticized for this song and even called a hypocrite but, you know, Pink is all about empowering girls to be sexy and smart, and so am I.

What happened to a girl wanting to be President? Nowadays it seems that all ppl want is their 15 minutes of fame and they don't care how they get it as long as they get it. They think they have to look a certain way, dress a certain way and if they don't, well... life ends as they know it.

I wonder how many ppl realize that magazine covers are air brushed? If the model/actress has cellulite, you don't see it. If their tush sags, you don't see it. Hell, their teeth are even air brushed.

So... what do you do? Do you stop allowing your children to watch television? Do you hide them from these falsities and pretend it doesn't exist for the longest time possible and then hope that as they get older they aren't sucked into it? Or do you just allow this to penetrate the child's mind and become a cancer that eats away the very essence of their being?

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Chinese Proverbs


Man who run behind car get exhausted.

Man who run in front of car get tired.

Man with one chopstick go hungry.

Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.

War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.

Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.

It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.

Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.

Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.

Smiles :)

Will Iran nuke Israel???

Well, this morn., first thing, I hear that Iran has said they will nuke Israel. They almost have the weapons ready, so it's only a matter of time. The hubby says that Iran has said this for ages but nothing ever happens... but hey, they didn't have nuclear power then, now did they?

Talked to some ppl today at work and come to find out, the Foreign Affairs ppl had a mtg w/ Iran in Kuwait yesterday, and Iran says that if any American planes fly from Bahrain and target Iran, they will target Bahrain. Seems that the govt are a teensy bit nervous about all of it... but maybe the Navy will move real quick to Qatar... hmmm, now that's an option.

So... what if Iran does hit Israel w/ a nuke - you know that the U.S. will be on top of that mother real quick - no prob backing Israel, so the chances of planes leaving Bahrian are high.

And... since we're only an hour's plane ride from Iran, it's really scary to think of what could happen. If they don't come after Bahrian, you still have all the depris and such from whatever they do coming this way in smoke clouds... or am I just a fatalist?

It all freaks me out, but hey, I grew up during a time where we learned to "duck and cover" in school because at any minute the Russians could bomb us, so being afraid of this doesn't surprise me. We use to have drills in school and we'd all run to the halls and get down and cover our heads. We were all terrified of the Russians.

Hmmm.. maybe since I'm an American I should be more afraid of the Shi'a's here in Bahrain... you think? I was told that today at work. The hubby says, "let them try to hurt you".... and I said, "lets go back to the States!".

Since that isn't an option, I guess I could quit my job and start building a bomb shelter in our front yard. We have the space!

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Rioting in Bahrain

Yesterday we had lunch out and while eating we started talking to one of the guys working at the restaurant. He knew we had been on vacation and asked about that, and then the conversation turned to all the demonstrations, rioting and car burnings that have been happening as of late here on this "peaceful" island.

He immediately said that it's all the unemployed and I said, "oh, that's an excuse". I believe it to be ... how can such be happening over unemployment?? I think it started out like that but is it really about that now?? Why would so many ppl expect the govt to just hand them jobs? Isn't the norm in finding a job first sending your resume/CV, following up and trying to arrange an interview, interviewing for the job, and then possibly/maybe being selected out of a group of no telling how many for that particular job?

For how many months now has the rioting been going on - obviously these ppl aren't getting jobs. Why should anyone just be given a job - just because they're Bahraini they deserve it? How fair is that? And it's not like there aren't jobs available, they just want the cush jobs working for the govt.. right?! So that they really don't have to work. I know because I work for the govt. I see how it is.... I see the way so many ppl abuse the system and the way they are and their working habits. Bahrainis can't get fired, so they pretty much do whatever they want besause who's going to stop them?

I think it's a crock really. No one should be given anything so easily. You should have to pound the pavement, study, get good grades, work and pay your dues because how else can you truly learn about life.

Who are these ppl demanding jobs? What skills do they have? People/Bahraini's want to cry about so many Asians having jobs here and how unfair it is... well, crap, why don't they get out and do these jobs? How many Bahraini's do you see out doing construction? What about working as waiters/waitresses in restaurants? There are so many jobs they could be doing but won't. Why is that? Why don't ppl take on housekeeping jobs? What about babysitting jobs?

I used to work at the Ministry of State which is no longer. I worked there for a year and in that time, I could not believe the stuff that I saw. There I was working my ass off because I'm on contract, an expatriate and could get fired but the Bahrainis.... it's laughable really. One girl that I worked w/, all she did, all day long, was stay on her cell phone. One call after another. If it wasn't her cell, then it was her calling someone from her desk phone. If it wasn't that, then she was sleeping or away from her desk talking to the other girls in the other offices. AND... when the director tried to correct her attitude, she basically went on a rampage and did everything she could to get him fired. How dare he say anything to her was her attitude. She manipulated the Minister by crying and carrying on and he believed her which made me wonder if they were having an affair or something - well, not only for that reason because there were many reasons for me to believe that... but.. that's another story.

When I first started working there, they treated me like crap. They wouldn't even tell me how to send out mail or where to put the mail for the post office. Coming from the States, all formats, paper sizes and such were new to me because everything is different here. No one would explain anything to me. They all did it on purpose just to cause problems, I later realized. They did the same thing to the girl that had worked there before me - she was British but I heard she was an idiot. They could NOT stand the fact that I was an American and, basically, how dare I work for the govt. It's not like I didn't interview and prove myself in order to get the job. I guess it was because I made more money than all of them... but hey... I was more qualified than any of them, have a college degree and I worked my ass off - working many hours of overtime, weekends, and I didn't get paid one filthy fils for it.

I get so sick of this give me, give me attitude.... some ppl are way too pampered here. I know this blog may piss some ppl off, but really, I'm just sick of the whiney attitudes from so many here. Even w/ my current job, it's soooo aggravating how petty ppl can be. Here, Bahrainis complain about everything... I hear it every day... but Lord forbid I question anything. I feel like screaming, yelling and running from this place.... and this is my first day back from being gone for a month... how glorious!


I've never seen anything quite like this.... how extraordinarily beautiful!! How I'd love to see a butterfly like this....

Monday, May 01, 2006

Black cats and jins

When I lived in the States, I used to do a lot of volunteer work for cat organizations/adoption agencies. In all the years that I've been around cats, lived w/ them, worked w/ them, I've never come across a sweeter kitty than a black cat. They seem to have the best temperament of all... ok, maybe not of all, but they are really sweet, especially the boys. We have a girl, she's quite talkative and wants for constant attention, and is the sweetest lil thing you could ever have.

Many in the U.S. still associate black cats w/ witchcraft and think that if a black cat crosses your path, then it's bad luck. On Halloween, ppl advise you to keep your black cats indoors. Why, because some ppl kill them - especially on Halloween. I've never quite understood the logic behind this and I don't think I ever will. Which brings me to my next point....

do most ppl here believe that black cats have jins inside of them? Most of the ppl that I've talked to about this believe it to be true. Now, I haven't talked to tons of ppl because I gave up. Sometimes it doesn't matter how hard you try to convince someone of something, they still don't get it. Or so I believe.

I have heard horror stories from several women who claim to know someone who knows someone that was killed by a **black cat**. Seems to be the same type of story over and over again - there's a jin inside the black cat and it's the jin that kills the person after sneaking inside the house... yada yada yada.

One girl I know, she won't even come over to our house because of our cats. I can only imagine what she'd do if she knew we had a black cat. She's a person who has related one such story to me about a black cat. I refused to believe it and tried to tell her how crazy it is, but she wouldn't listen. She feels absolutely certain about her beliefs - same as me.

I guess I don't understand this whole jin thing. I believe in ghosts and even had an experience once that spooked me really bad, and I know a lot of ppl who have had experiences w/ ghosts - in the States - but not here.

In Bahrain, I only hear about jins and black cats. Why are ppl so quick to rule out that maybe it's an old wives' tale?? told ages ago?? This is something that makes me sit and think, "hmmmm".

Lonely Days

Good morning mister sunshine,
you brighten up my day.
Come sit beside me in your way.
I see you every morning,
outside the restaurants,
The music plays so nonchalant.
Lonely days, lonely nights. Where would I be without my mother?

ok ok.. I changed the last word there, but hey... it's still the same song.

Well, lastnight was a sleepless night. My eyes are feelin' it this morning. I can only imagine the bags I'll have today and prob the rest of the week from not sleeping. I've been having major insomnia but I've been chalking it up to jet lag. Even when I was in California, I couldn't sleep. It's plagued me before, when I've been really busy or stressed... this time it's from sadness. Usually a sleeping pill or two or three will handle it, but I've tried them for the last few nights and they've had no affect. Last night I didn't take anything... maybe I should have. Shoulda, woulda, coulda.....

Funny how sadness creeps up on ya, just when you think the coast is clear. I've been trying to distract my attention on superficial things... but it only lasts for a short bit. Focusing is a difficult chore as of late.

Actually, the hubby said he was surprised at how well I handled leaving my family, and I guess I did handle it well, until this morning.

Thankfully, our missing bag arrived lastnight. So... we have presents to share. That'll be nice and I'm hoping it'll lift my spirits.