Thursday, March 16, 2006

Such is Life

What to write when one has anger inside.... what to think when you see some that say things so easily w/out knowing the whole truth behind the remarks they make....

I've been living here in Bahrain for almost three years now. I've had my share of ups and downs. I've gotten angry and felt pain from ppl who try to hurt me (and sometimes succeed) just because I'm not like them or for whatever reason.

But... I saw the same living in the States, after 9/11 from Americans, and even before from Arabs that were "supposed" to be friends. Sometimes ppl show their true fangs when they don't get what they want or things dont go according to their plans.

I've met, over the course of the last month probably, some truly remarkable people (mainly Bahrainis) through blogging. I've not met them face-to-face but only thru correspondence, and I'll have to say, they have shown me that not all people are the same. I knew this but sometimes you get led down the wrong path by ppl and, sometimes, start believing that all are the same when they're not. A majority of the Bahrainis that I've talked w/ are intelligent, broad minded, funny, and good ppl. But just like anywhere, you get ahold of some bad seeds sometimes.

I'll admit, I have been guilty of lumping everyone into the same frying pan for the last couple of years.... believing that most Bahrainis are the same. I've met a lot of them that say things to me and I wonder how in the world they could believe that such things are true, and I've met a lot of ppl that dislike me just because I'm an American. I've met a lot of ppl who have old ways of thinking and want to impose those thoughts on me and they expect me to abide by them, and I've met ppl who want to stiffle my thoughts and my way of life. I've had ppl tell me not to write or say anything and that if I want to write, I should record it or write it down and then delete it... which I would never do because I'm just too stubborn. Push me one way and I'll go the other.

Many Americans are the same. There are ppl w/ really bad attitudes, bad manners, hurtful, envious, devious, manipulating and will outright lie - from all walks of life. You can see it every day, all one has to do is open one's eyes.

I'm not a person that will be told what to do. The only ppl I listen to are my husband, my mom and my boss.... and I'm not a person to back down. When someone challenges me or tries to tell me how it is, and I disagree, it seems to make me do it more or do what they dislike even more. I guess it's the Fire Horse inside of me. Years ago, the Chinese would kill their daughters if they were born a Fire Horse.... too independent. Me, I'm no different.

I make mistakes.... I'm not perfect. But, I also know what I know and have lived long enough to have knowledge on certain topics and w/ my experience/background, I've also seen things that a lot of ppl haven't seen. I'm one that believes that true knowledge comes from experience.... be it good or bad. Anyone can read about laws, statistics, or get info from others and "think" they have the knowledge or know the truth, but it's when you see it first hand and are a part of it.... that's when the truth comes out.

Many of you will not know of whom I'm speaking... many could care less.... many won't even read this blog... but... I know and I will not back down. For the truth is out there for those who want to see it....

4 comments:

Mohammed said...

Oh my God … you blog so sadly … I hope that what you wrote is just a relive not a living style … its good to have some way to takeoff that black smoke of sadness away from you, but I believe it is harder for the reader … I was about to cry – but thanks God I didn't. You !! Go and watch Showtime or at least channel 4 and have fun … forget about people and what are they thinking … unless you are a shrink!! I'm sure that you are a very good and pure person with a high attitude and I believe that your husband is so lucky … I'm Bahraini and I don't like USA politics and double standards but I can differentiate clearly between the corrupted government and the people. I'm asking you really to write more funny stories like those I read from your previous blogs and make sure to continue your life without giving too much attention to what people think and thought. Oh my God you remind me with my wife … I think it is a girly issue …. You spend a lot of time thinking why that person said so and why he did so …. I believe that when you spend your time thinking why bad guys says bad things; then you are answering your self … they want you to suffer.. and to let you thinking about what they did or say … so it's either you ignore them or respond to them directly at the same time; then you are doing the good thing to your heart and your brain … again go back to the TV enjoy some movies, cause your husband a little headache (The wife's best hobby) and enjoy your life … bye and Oh my God … you blog so sadly … I hope that what you wrote is just a relive not a living style … its good to have some way to takeoff that black smoke of sadness away from you, but I believe it is harder for the reader … I was about to cry – but thanks God I didn't. You !! Go and watch Showtime or at least channel 4 and have fun … forget about people and what are they thinking … unless you are a shrink!! I'm sure that you are a very good and pure person with a high attitude and I believe that your husband is so lucky … I'm Bahraini and I don't like USA politics and double standards but I can differentiate clearly between the corrupted government and the people. I'm asking you really to write more funny stories like those I read from your previous blogs and make sure to continue your life without giving too much attention to what people think and thought. Oh my God you remind me with my wife … I think it is a girly issue …. You spend a lot of time thinking why that person said so and why he did so …. I believe that when you spend your time thinking why bad guys says bad things; then you are answering your self … they want you to suffer.. and to let you thinking about what they did or say … so it's either you ignore them or respond to them directly at the same time; then you are doing the good thing to your heart and your brain … again go back to the TV enjoy some movies, cause your husband a little headache (The wife's best hobby) and enjoy your life … bye sorry for my bad English !

kenzity said...

Writing helps to clear this lil chaotic mind! :)

Your message is very nice, thank you for your comment.

We just finished watching Capote... which was *just* ok... now we're gonna watch Munich... which I hope will be better. I'll blog about them prob tomorrow. Movies and getting away from things does help... :)

Thank you for reading my blog. I hope you come back. Yes, of course, more sarcasim and funny things.

Akmal said...

Sometimes, it's just not easy to let go for some people, including me, that world is not perfect. We are idealists and we are always after such things. Well, sometimes we just forget. It's just a part of born nature, which not everybody will have from birth. I was born in Crab sun sign, and I know what is it like. All the signs have their problems in their psyche, some may be too aggressive, some hyperenergetic, some too passive and so on. Forgetting and watching movie doesn't help in the long term. You have to approach it in philosophical, psychological stance. Psychologists are also different, it's difficult to get sensible help from them. I suffer myself from social isolation just because of my upbringing and my nature. I blame God for that. May be God wanted me to be like that for a reason. Who knows. So I have to live with it, anyways. I was born like that.

There is a useful article to help: http://soulhiker.com/2009/10/reboot-your-life-20-mental-barriers-you-should-let-go-off/

Akmal said...

I think I have to compromise that life is unfair like Bill Gates said.