What to write when one has anger inside.... what to think when you see some that say things so easily w/out knowing the whole truth behind the remarks they make....
I've been living here in Bahrain for almost three years now. I've had my share of ups and downs. I've gotten angry and felt pain from ppl who try to hurt me (and sometimes succeed) just because I'm not like them or for whatever reason.
But... I saw the same living in the States, after 9/11 from Americans, and even before from Arabs that were "supposed" to be friends. Sometimes ppl show their true fangs when they don't get what they want or things dont go according to their plans.
I've met, over the course of the last month probably, some truly remarkable people (mainly Bahrainis) through blogging. I've not met them face-to-face but only thru correspondence, and I'll have to say, they have shown me that not all people are the same. I knew this but sometimes you get led down the wrong path by ppl and, sometimes, start believing that all are the same when they're not. A majority of the Bahrainis that I've talked w/ are intelligent, broad minded, funny, and good ppl. But just like anywhere, you get ahold of some bad seeds sometimes.
I'll admit, I have been guilty of lumping everyone into the same frying pan for the last couple of years.... believing that most Bahrainis are the same. I've met a lot of them that say things to me and I wonder how in the world they could believe that such things are true, and I've met a lot of ppl that dislike me just because I'm an American. I've met a lot of ppl who have old ways of thinking and want to impose those thoughts on me and they expect me to abide by them, and I've met ppl who want to stiffle my thoughts and my way of life. I've had ppl tell me not to write or say anything and that if I want to write, I should record it or write it down and then delete it... which I would never do because I'm just too stubborn. Push me one way and I'll go the other.
Many Americans are the same. There are ppl w/ really bad attitudes, bad manners, hurtful, envious, devious, manipulating and will outright lie - from all walks of life. You can see it every day, all one has to do is open one's eyes.
I'm not a person that will be told what to do. The only ppl I listen to are my husband, my mom and my boss.... and I'm not a person to back down. When someone challenges me or tries to tell me how it is, and I disagree, it seems to make me do it more or do what they dislike even more. I guess it's the Fire Horse inside of me. Years ago, the Chinese would kill their daughters if they were born a Fire Horse.... too independent. Me, I'm no different.
I make mistakes.... I'm not perfect. But, I also know what I know and have lived long enough to have knowledge on certain topics and w/ my experience/background, I've also seen things that a lot of ppl haven't seen. I'm one that believes that true knowledge comes from experience.... be it good or bad. Anyone can read about laws, statistics, or get info from others and "think" they have the knowledge or know the truth, but it's when you see it first hand and are a part of it.... that's when the truth comes out.
Many of you will not know of whom I'm speaking... many could care less.... many won't even read this blog... but... I know and I will not back down. For the truth is out there for those who want to see it....